Hasan Minhaj Answers the Web's Most Searched Questions

Hi, I'm Hasan Minhaj,

and this is the Wired Auto Complete Interview.

[upbeat funky music]

How do we swap out some of the Google images of me?

Like my Wikipedia photo is pretty horrifying.

It's like me like, Ah!

[funky music]

Okay.

People on Google are asking, What did Hasan Minhaj study?

I was a PoliSci major and a film minor,

which isn't even a thing.

You could pretty much Wikipedia what I studied.

A film minor is like three YouTube videos.

I'm sorry, UC Davis.

What did Hasan Minhaj say about Ellen DeGeneres?

I didn't say anything.

Google don't get me in trouble.

I just had Ellen pronounce my name properly,

and that my Starbucks name is Timothee Chalamet.

I guess apparently that was a huge internet thing.

[Producer] Are you getting a higher percentage

of more accurate pronunciations since then?

Actually the more people try, it's actually getting worse.

It's that kind of like,

that well-intentioned progressive liberal thing

where people are like Ha-sen Mean-haj.

Do you know what I mean?

Like the way when you're in Spanish class,

and you were like, [Hasan speaks overenunciated Spanish].

And you're like,

Relax. You just say [Hasan speaks Spanish].

And you just say,

You can just call me Timothy Chalamet from here on out.

What did Hasan Minhaj get on the SAT?

People on Google are savages.

I got a 1310 on the SAT unfortunately, and I really tried.

I took the Princeton Review twice.

And still got a 1310, so that was me maxing out,

fully turnt on Adderall.

This engine has a 1310 in them.

And then I retook it, funny enough for Patriot Act,

The score that I got as an adult man

in my mid thirties was an 1100.

So the score that I got now wouldn't even get me

into the school that I went to as a young man.

Very humbling.

What is Hasan Minhaj favorite food?

I think there's different categories.

Favorite food at home?

Favorite food at a restaurant?

Favorite late night food?

Which bucket shall I answer?

I had a signature sandwich called the Minaji Trois

in my twenties where I was really struggling

as a comic coming up,

and it consists of wheat bread, Chipotle mayo-

which I thought was like a revelation in my life,

chicken breast and or turkey,

a toaster oven and pepper jack cheese.

The internet lambasted me when they saw me

put it together with avocado,

and saw that I could not cut avocado properly.

People were making a real hullabaloo out of it.

Next board.

How Hasan Minhaj.

How did Hasan Minhaj get famous?

I'm sensing a lot of passive aggressive energy

with these questions because I ask stuff like this

cause I'm a hater too.

I'll go to Google and be like, Is Adam Driver attractive?

I think like my cousins in Delhi are like,

How did this happen?

How did Hasan get popular?

And then people in the YouTube comments

will be like, I have no idea who this person is.

You may know me from The Daily Show with Jon Stewart,

I was one of the last correspondents hired by Jon.

Or maybe you know me

from the White House Correspondents Dinner,

or Homecoming King, my first Netflix special,

or my show Patriot Act.

One of those things that have probably ended up

in your timeline or newsfeed in some capacity.

How tall is Hasan Minhaj?

Six one with hair, and I take a lot of pride in that.

[Producer] Who is height important to?

Girls on dating apps.

Girls will be like,

I want someone sensitive, smart, intelligent, erudite,

well read, cultured.

5'10 or over, please.

Am I lying?

I'm not lie- I've just, I've seen this.

This is like very ruthless,

so I'm a big beneficiary of that.

I asked my wife Beena this.

I go, What do you like most about me?

I'll have multiple detailed answers about my wife.

I'll be like, You're sophisticated yet sexy.

You're smart, well spoken, sweet.

You're so great to my parents,

but then you have this amazing soft spot for our children.

And then she's just like, You're tall for an Indian guy.

How old is Hasan Minhaj?

I just turned 37 and boy oh boy, am I feeling it.

Stretching and hydration.

That's my life now.

How to dress like Hasan Minhaj.

See, that's sweet.

It's medium.

That's the secret.

I wanna describe my style.

It's kind of like Americana swag, kinda.

Just so you know, Internet, a lot of the stuff

that I wear is borrowed, so it is returned immediately.

When Hasan Minhaj?

When is Hasan Minhaj coming back?

Right now.

On YouTube.

On Wired's official YouTube channel.

I think this is in regards to when I'm coming back

to Netflix, that's October 4th.

The King's Jester on Netflix. Streaming now.

Talking about fertility, fatherhood, stories about marriage.

You know in Homecoming King,

I had just gotten married, I hadn't had my own show yet.

I hadn't been sued by a hedge fund for telling jokes.

[Producer] What was the outcome of that suit?

It's dismissed.

As I say in the special,

We never heard from those assholes ever again.

Hi Randall Smith.

When was Hasan Minhaj on The Daily Show?

I was on The Daily Show from 2014 to 2018,

and they were some of the best years of my life.

Is there a particular segment I was most proud of?

I think the first interview that I did

with Prime Minister Justin Trudeau was pretty awesome.

To walk into the Prime Minister's office

in a full Canadian tuxedo and not have anyone bat an eye

or say anything about it was the most Canadian thing ever.

When did Hasan Minhaj get married?

January 2nd, 2015.

I will say this and I'm pretty proud about it.

I remembered our anniversary and my wife forgot,

and I flex it so hard.

Thank you, Google Calendar.

When did Hasan Minhaj start comedy?

I started comedy as a freshman in college.

One of my roommates at UC Davis

was illegally downloading TV shows and movies.

I wasn't because stealing is wrong.

He illegally downloaded Chris Rock's Never Scared

which was his special in 2004.

I was like, Holy shit, this is amazing.

I gotta do this.

Some of my earliest jokes were really, really bad.

I think one of my first jokes was like, the premise was,

Hey isn't it weird when you're living at home

with your parents and a girl you like calls the house

and then your dad picks up the phone.

Landline humor. Kind of dated.

Is Hasan Minhaj

a doctor?

No, I'm not.

Basically my dad and mom open up Google every day

and they're like, Why isn't Hasan Minhaj a doctor?

I think that's what you need to add

is Why isn't Hasan Minhaj a doctor? question mark.

No, I'm not a doctor, but I did, I do make jokes

about the medical community

because I know them intimately well.

As a person who started as pre-med,

and then became a PoliSci major,

I know their pain and their anguish and regret.

Is Hasan Minhaj related to Nicki Minaj?

No. I did briefly meet her at the Met Gala and I was like,

Hey, we should take a picture together.

And Trevor Noah was like,

Hey, yeah, you should.

He's like, he's like your brother.

And she was like, What?

And she walked away, so we never took the photo.

But you know, stuff like this happens with family members.

Is Hasan Minhaj in The Morning Show?

Yes. I'm in The Morning Show, Season two.

I play Eric Nomani, who is a new anchor who comes

to the morning show and shakes things up.

Is Hasan Minhaj funny?

These questions are very trolly.

Yeah, I think I'm funny.

I would hope I'm funny.

I feel like my wife wrote this.

It's like, Is he? Is he really funny?

Last card.

Hasan Minhaj Riddler.

Oh, this is great.

Yeah, I am playing Riddler

in the new Spotify series Batman Unburied.

The Great Winston Duke plays Batman.

It is created by one of the greatest, I think,

comic book and film adaptation director writers of all time

Mr. David Goyer, who's absolutely brilliant.

I was like, Oh, David's calling me to be Batman.

And he's like, No, you're more of a Riddler.

Hasan Minhaj skincare.

I use my wife's

Skinceuticals.

So we have like a his and her sink

and mine has just like a Gillette Mach three,

and just like a half used bar of soap.

And then hers has like an Erlenmeyer flask, a titration set.

Hasan Minhaj, log kya kahenge.

Oh cool.

Log kya kahenge in Hindi means What will people think?

And in my first Netflix special, Homecoming King,

I talk about how so many dreams die

because of log kya kahenge.

There are so many roomies that became electrical engineers

because of What will people think?

It's truly tragic as I say in Homecoming King,

Fuck log kya kahenge.

Hasan Minhaj, Timothee Chalamet.

That's my Starbucks name.

And by the way, you misspelled his name.

There's an accent over here.

Get it right.

Oh, they'll be like, Timothy!

And I'll be like, It's Timo-tay.

Hasan Minhaj DO.

Oh man, y'all are in the comments and heated.

Look, I do a joke about MDs versus Dos

in my new special King's Jester.

A lot of doctors of osteopathic medicine

I'm pronouncing that correctly, got upset about the joke.

And what I want you to know is I love DOs.

You guys are good doctors.

I wanna say something that your parents never told you.

I'm proud of you and I don't care about your MCAT score.

Why do you?

Thank you, Wired.

Appreciate you guys.

Till next time, I'm Hasan Minhaj.

Take care guys.