In the thrilling conclusion to 2023, ransomware groups had a banner year, really outdoing themselves in the "make everyone's life miserable" department. LockBit 3.0 took gold in the hacking olympics, followed by the plucky upstarts Clop and ALPHV/BlackCat. Apparently, 48% of organizations were feeling left out and decided to get in on the cyber attack action. Business services won the "most likely to get digitally mugged" award, with education and retail nipping at their heels. Hackers expanded their repertoire beyond boring old encryption to the much more exciting world of extortion. The US, UK and Canada took top honors in the "countries most likely to pay up" category. Bitcoins were the currency of choice for discerning hackers, because who doesn't love untraceable money?