The first thing that I thought of when reading your question is this:
You cannot control other people ... they will say what they want. They have many years of developing habits of teaching you and guiding you. They will probably keep doing these things.
You can control how you react. You can politely listen, thank them for their advice, and then do what you want. If you want to be treated like an adult, you have to act like one. I know you are not in the US, but this is what acting like an adult means here:
- You are responsible: you get up, take care of yourself, get to school and work, all of the things of daily activity ... without asking for or needing help from anyone.
- You are independent: you pay for what you need. You buy your own food, clothes, transportation, housing, etc. ... without asking for or needing help.
- You are mature: you can listen to someone share their opinion without feeling the need to change it or argue about it. It is just an opinion. Everyone has them.
- You are decisive: you make decisions about your life on your own. You may ask advice once in a while, but you decide what is best on your own. You make your own schedule and set your own goals.
- You care for your family: you do what is needed to take care of your family. If they appreciate help with cooking, cleaning, car repairs, yard work, fixing the roof, babysitting, shopping, transportation, medical care, new glasses, caring for older family ... whatever they need or appreciate ... without expecting anything in return.
If you live in their home, you will not be viewed as independent. Doing the other things on this list will change their view of you, however, but it will take way longer than you want it to. Basically, it will 'feel' like you are changing very quickly and they are not acknowledging it at all. This is true and you cannot change what people think or say. It is what it is.
They will do and say what they want. It is their house, after all. You can react in a different way, though. You can be respectful, listen carefully, and then continue on with your adult life. You do not have to argue for adulthood ... you have to act like it.
This is one of those times when 'actions speak louder than words.' Act your age and you won't have to talk about it anymore.
If you absolutely, obsessively MUST talk about this with them, put it on your calendar for an hour once every 2 months. During that one hour, every 2 months, you can tell them how it makes you feel and ask them to refrain from saying those things.
The rest of the time, act like an adult: respect others' opinions but lead your own life.
This is just my opinion, or course. Feel free to ignore me or tell me why I am wrong. I admit I am not familiar with Asian households. I welcome the chance to become more educated.