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In the moment, ad-lib something. This happens to me all the time. Despite all my preparations, my players often completely subvert or circumvent my planned sessions. Just last session, they were at t …

Demonstrate it to the PCs The key problem with these complicated mechanics is that it's very difficult to telegraph them to your players. Video games can get away with complicated mechanics because t …

Use a mixed system: Chunks of XP at milestones... It's funny: your situation sounds 90% identical to what I've been struggling with for a while, especially the part about forgetting to give out XP for …

Cram a new character into the game ASAP. If the death occurs later in the session, I might rule that the character has to wait until the next session before they have to return (in fact, that's happe …

Fake everything I've been doing this sort of reactive world for the game that I DM. I've tried various ways to keep track of factions and the world, but I've found that systematic methods are a lot o …

Most background NPCs are defined by the setting The right answer is going to vary significantly based on the personality of your party. The party I DM is rather incurious, but I play in a super curio …

Plan each session more like a movie and less like a video game. I've had your exact same problem--the group I DM for only meets roughly once a month, and it takes forever to get the campaign moving. …

There are many ways to gain additional skill proficiencies in the rules. If you or your players want to make a new set of proficiencies, you're free to do so using a customized background: (PHB 125) …

Telegraph your decisions excessively, and allow retcons In my experience, what the DM is thinking is very different from what the player is experiencing. In the example you gave, while you "already k …

Low stats do not mean low participation. Just because a character does not have high numbers in a particular stat does not mean they cannot participate in any particular encounter. As someone who's p …

Give them the narrative and have them tie themselves in It looks like the reason you want more detailed backstories is so that you can incorporate them into your own overarching plot. However, simply …

Shut down their insight checks It's worth noting that you, the DM, are the one that calls for ability checks, not the players (DMG 237): Only call for a roll if there is a meaningful consequence …

Stop using Insight as a lie detector test. Instead of using Insight as a lie detector test, I let the players decide whether or not an NPC is lying. I find that doing so increases and rewards player …

Inspiration (as discussed here) is the ingame mechanic designed for this. Briefly, the DM can hand out inspiration, which gives advantage on rolls, essentially whenever he/she feels like it. The DMG ( …

Is this a problem? First, it looks like you're neither a PC nor a DM. If everyone involved in playing the game is enjoying the game that they're playing, what's the problem? I've played in games wher …