Violent cat doesn't understand violence

Question

I hate hitting practically any animal but my cat is aggressive and suddenly out of nowhere attacks my wife or me. Sometimes it's for the most mundane things like asking him to leave the kitchen and then closing the door. He will then jump as far as her neck with his claws and this behavior is outrageous. He can be so cute but he snaps sometimes for no reason at all, maybe attacking my wife when she's in the bathroom.

I need help in making him understand attacking us is not ok. I tried hitting him back but this clearly only works for a couple of hours he does not learn anything other than to fear me so he does not continue the string of attacks, but with my wife things are different, he can keep chasing her for minutes while she backs away and asks for him to calm down.

We tried with a spray bottle but this also had a temporary effect. We also tried putting him in a couple of minutes timeout in a room. Nothing helps long term, so please help me I'm desperate to have a peaceful solution with this cat, I love him dearly but this behavior is too much for us, help me solve this in a peaceful way.

I think it is also important to mention that this cat "adopted" us from the streets.

Answer 1

This won't be a complete answer, but I'll write up whatever tips come to my mind.

First: no eye contact!

Humans are very exceptional in their behavior because they use looking someone in the eyes to connct to them. Almost all animals use looking in the eyes as a direct threat. So conciously avoid looking your cat directly in his eyes. Instead, look at a spot slightly away from his face and do the lazy cat blink. Cats use the lazy blink as nonverbal communication to say "I don't want to fight you".

It's possible that he swats at your faces because you look directly at him and he thinks you're going to attack.

Lure him instead of chasing him.

For example, if you want him to leave the kitchen. I assume you try guiding him out, maybe even pushing him out with hour hands or feet. He can feel preassured by that or maybe like you're pushing him in a corner. It's much better if you put some kibbles or cat treats on the floor in a line that leads him out if he eats them all. You can also throw single kibbles for him to chase.

Stop aggressive behavior before he attacks.

You write "he can keep chasing her for minutes while she backs away and asks for him to calm down." That is exactly the wrong behavior. Remember what I said about nonverbal communication? When he is staring your wife in the eyes and stalking her, this is already aggressive behavior. Backing away and asking him to stop while looking him in the eyes has exactly the opposite effect of what you want.

You (and your wife) should conciously do the lazy cat blink as soon as you notice him staring at you or stalking you. If he doesn't stop, I suggest you have at least 1 spray bottle with clean water (can be more if you need them in different rooms) and whenever he starts this stalking, you spray him before he can physically attack you. Immediately afterwards, give him room to calm down. Don't walk after him, try to pet him or speak to him for a few minutes.

In my opinion stopping agression before he attacks also includes not letting him interact with visitors. I've had the same problem with my dog, who was adopted. He would suddenly become aggressive towards visitors, so we had to seperate him from visitors to make sure everyone was safe. I would do the same with your cat. If he cannot behave around strangers, he has to wait in a separate room.

Answer 2

Don't give up, please! I had a feral cat about 25 years ago and he approached me too (it was below freezing outside at the time and he would have frozen to death if I hadn't taken him in). He was very misunderstood by my husband and I for the first couple of years because we didn't know what to expect. He was so bad during adolescence (before we got him fixed) that nobody could even make eye contact with him for very long or he would charge at your face with his claws out!! We were literally scared as hell of him, also because he got extremely big! Long story short, after reading every book I could get my hands on about feral cats and after many stressed-out visits to my veterinarian, we finally got used to each other and the more we calmed down, the more he seemed to calm down.

Also, after I had my first daughter, he bonded with her and became very protective of her and he never was aggressive towards her ever, we were shocked. As he got older, he developed diabetes, and believe it or not he allowed me to give him insulin shots twice a day!

Please don't give up and definitely do not give him to a shelter because he will never get adopted out because of the way he is, so he will be euthanized fairly quickly. I know it's hard as hell and extremely stressful to deal with every day but try to remain optimistic for now. If you read a little bit about why feral cats act the way they do, you will develop a huge understanding of all you need to know, trust me. My feral friend lived a long, happy life and I still miss him every day and so does my daughter.