What is the role of a husband in a marriage according to Jewish thought?

Question

What does the Torah, encompassing all of the Jewish works, say about the duties and responsibilities of a husband? I would like some sources on the matter.

Answer 1

The role of a father and a husband is to walk with integrity

Proverbs 20:7

ז מִתְהַלֵּךְ בְּתֻמּוֹ צַדִּיק; אַשְׁרֵי בָנָיו אַחֲרָיו. 7 He that walketh in his integrity as a just man, happy are his children after him.

to show compassion

Psalm 103:13

יג כְּרַחֵם אָב, עַל-בָּנִים-- רִחַם יְהוָה, עַל-יְרֵאָיו. 13 Like as a father hath compassion upon his children, so hath the LORD compassion upon them that fear Him.

to teach wisdom, which can be separate than religious teaching

Proverbs 4

א שִׁמְעוּ בָנִים, מוּסַר אָב; וְהַקְשִׁיבוּ, לָדַעַת בִּינָה. 1 Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. ב כִּי לֶקַח טוֹב, נָתַתִּי לָכֶם; תּוֹרָתִי, אַל-תַּעֲזֹבוּ. 2 For I give you good doctrine; forsake ye not my teaching. ג כִּי-בֵן, הָיִיתִי לְאָבִי; רַךְ וְיָחִיד, לִפְנֵי אִמִּי. 3 For I was a son unto my father, tender and an only one in the sight of my mother. ד וַיֹּרֵנִי--וַיֹּאמֶר לִי, יִתְמָךְ-דְּבָרַי לִבֶּךָ; שְׁמֹר מִצְו‍ֹתַי וֶחְיֵה. 4 And he taught me, and said unto me: 'Let thy heart hold fast my words, keep my commandments, and live; ה קְנֵה חָכְמָה, קְנֵה בִינָה; אַל-תִּשְׁכַּח וְאַל-תֵּט, מֵאִמְרֵי-פִי. 5 Get wisdom, get understanding; forget not, neither decline from the words of my mouth; ו אַל-תַּעַזְבֶהָ וְ��ִשְׁמְרֶךָּ; אֱהָבֶהָ וְתִצְּרֶךָּ. 6 Forsake her not, and she will preserve thee; love her, and she will keep thee.

to teach his children righteousness and justice

Genesis 18

יט כִּי יְדַעְתִּיו, לְמַעַן אֲשֶׁר יְצַוֶּה אֶת-בָּנָיו וְאֶת-בֵּיתוֹ אַחֲרָיו, וְשָׁמְרוּ דֶּרֶךְ יְהוָה, לַעֲשׂוֹת צְדָקָה וּמִשְׁפָּט--לְמַעַן, הָבִיא יְהוָה עַל-אַבְרָהָם, אֵת אֲשֶׁר-דִּבֶּר, עָלָיו. 19 For I have known him, to the end that he may command his children and his household after him, that they may keep the way of the LORD, to do righteousness and justice

to discipline his child based on the attribute of hope, not anger, hate, or toward a desire for their destruction.

יח יַסֵּר בִּנְךָ, כִּי-יֵשׁ תִּקְוָה; וְאֶל-הֲמִיתוֹ, אַל-תִּשָּׂא נַפְשֶׁךָ. 18 Chasten thy son, for there is hope; but set not thy heart on his destruction.

to build up something for his children after him

Proverbs 13

כב טוֹב--יַנְחִיל בְּנֵי-בָנִים; וְצָפוּן לַצַּדִּיק, חֵיל חוֹטֵא. 22 A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children; and the wealth of the sinner is laid up for the righteous.

to teach his children humility, to impress upon them that all mankind has one father. To teach them discernment, because even by following a Torah scholar they are still at risk of being led astray

Malachi 2

ט וְגַם-אֲנִי נָתַתִּי אֶתְכֶם, נִבְזִים וּשְׁפָלִים--לְכָל-הָעָם: כְּפִי, אֲשֶׁר אֵינְכֶם שֹׁמְרִים אֶת-דְּרָכַי, וְנֹשְׂאִים פָּנִים, בַּתּוֹרָה. {פ} 9 Therefore have I also made you contemptible and base before all the people, according as ye have not kept My ways, but have had respect of persons in the law. {P} י הֲלוֹא אָב אֶחָד לְכֻלָּנוּ, הֲלוֹא אֵל אֶחָד בְּרָאָנוּ; מַדּוּעַ, נִבְגַּד אִישׁ בְּאָחִיו--לְחַלֵּל, בְּרִית אֲבֹתֵינוּ. 10 Have we not all one father? Hath not one God created us? Why do we deal treacherously every man against his brother, profaning the covenant of our fathers?

to encourage his children to follow their paths, not his own.

Proverbs 22

ו חֲנֹךְ לַנַּעַר, עַל-פִּי דַרְכּוֹ-- גַּם כִּי-יַזְקִין, לֹא-יָסוּר מִמֶּנָּה. 6 Train up a child in the way he should go, and even when he is old, he will not depart from it.

to teach his children the commandments of God

Deuteronomy 6

ו וְהָיוּ הַדְּבָרִים הָאֵלֶּה, אֲשֶׁר אָנֹכִי מְצַוְּךָ הַיּוֹם--עַל-לְבָבֶךָ. 6 And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be upon thy heart; ז וְשִׁנַּנְתָּם לְבָנֶיךָ, וְדִבַּרְתָּ בָּם, בְּשִׁבְתְּךָ בְּבֵיתֶךָ וּבְלֶכְתְּךָ בַדֶּרֶךְ, וּבְשָׁכְבְּךָ וּבְקוּמֶךָ. 7 and thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thy house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.

to praise his wife

Proverbs 30

כח קָמוּ בָנֶיהָ, וַיְאַשְּׁרוּהָ; בַּעְלָהּ, וַיְהַלְלָהּ. 28 Her children rise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her:

and to become one with his wife, to the point that God calls them each by only one name.

Genesis 5

1 This is the book of the generations of Adam. In the day that God created man, in the likeness of God made He him; ב זָכָר וּנְקֵבָה, בְּרָאָם; וַיְבָרֶךְ אֹתָם, וַיִּקְרָא אֶת-שְׁמָם אָדָם, בְּיוֹם, הִבָּרְאָם. 2 male and female created He them, and blessed them, and called their name Adam, in the day when they were created.