Siam Smiles, Manchester – restaurant review

'That," says the pal, "was the best meal I've ever had in Manchester." Big statement. But we're not at some glossy temple of gastronomy where TV chefs do curious things with coal and smoke guns, but in orange plastic chairs tacked down the side of a Thai supermarket in Chinatown that sells everything from tiny pink Thai shallots to the aptly-named stink beans.

From the menu, I'd guess the chefs are northern Thai: there's Isaan's beloved sticky rice, the most flawless I've eaten outside Thailand, served authentically in a little plastic bag inside a lidded bamboo kratip, every grain separate but clinging on to its pals for dear life. It's just perfect for rolling into chewy little balls and swooping through the electrifying flavours in every dish. (Like the use of real pea aubergines, sticky rice is an excellent bellwether for Thai restaurants; too often, it's a claggy mush.) And there are no green curries, Thai fishcakes or other cliches here, either. In fact, most of the dishes on the small menu are noodle-based. And glorious.

Westerners are very much in the minority, and flavours are accordingly dialled up to 11 and beyond. When I tell our server that we're happy with chilli heat, she replies cheerfully, "I won't tell the kitchen you're farang." And the som tam green papaya salad, humming with a pungent dressing of lime and dried shrimp, duly nearly blows my cranium off.

These are tastes to lose yourself in, so compelling they create an almost fugue-like state. Once I start dipping into kuia tiew tom yam – wriggly glass noodles in a broth thick with chilli, peanut and a riot of aromatic greenery – I can't stop, even though the thrilling heat is causing my heart to beat worryingly fast. Each table is laden with condiments: white pepper in lovely decorative tins, a Tupperware carton of tamarind, chilli vinegar, crushed peanuts, sugar, fish sauce, sriracha… But we don't touch them. Even the more subtle broth that comes with braised duck, spindly yellow wheat noodles and morning glory resonates with shimmering, savoury depth.

There's kow mun kai (the idiosyncratic spellings are theirs), a Thai version of a Hainanese dish I learned to love at Nong's Khao Man Gai in, er, Portland, Oregon. The poached chicken is silky, the soup soothing, and the ginger and black bean sauce as powerfully addictive as Nong's. Now I don't need to travel across the world for my fix.

Thai sausages can be vivid, fried little numbers, or Spammy, Vietnamese-style oiks. Siam Smiles offers both, the former with chunks of raw ginger and a wedge of raw cabbage, the latter in a tongue-tingling salad that turns the sausage's unlovely rubberiness into something alluring. Lab moo – minced pork salad – is another dish that puts tastebuds in a tailspin, a jab-jab-jab of sour and hot and aromatic, with the crunch of toasted, ground rice for texture. There's a hint of offal, too. This, with the sticky rice, is the textbook Isaan double act, made for each other like bacon and eggs, but with way more of a kick. Everything we eat has a lingering backnote, something swampy and feral: fermented shrimp paste sometimes, pig's blood others. I know that doesn't sound particularly delicious, but believe me, it is.

There's the odd stumble. Tom yam doesn't come with its billed pork balls: instead, there's minced pork and a curious collection of bouncy fishballs, tubular and round and sliced; if it weren't for the gorgeousness of the lime leaf-scented soup, their appeal would pall pretty rapidly. And the duck noodles promised a garnish of a slice of roast bird that never materialises. But the tiny crew is doing its best to deal with success. Queues have already started forming – and I had phoned to book, which they found suitably hilarious.

Siam Smiles is determinedly frill-free. Drinks are taken from the supermarket shelves: curious, alien fizzes or coconut water served in lopped-off baby coconuts. We eat as much as two people can without becoming laughing stocks, and our bill is still under 50 quid for two (normal people will probably spend about a tenner a head). I can only agree with what the pal says. Siam Smiles is the most exciting thing to happen to me in Manchester since the days of the Hacienda.

Siam Smiles 48a George Street, Manchester M1, 0161-237 1555. Open all week, noon-7.30pm (8.30pm Fri-Sun). About £10 a head, plus drinks and service.

Food 8/10
Atmosphere 5/10
Value for money 10/10

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