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Using chop and change checking for more efficient reading.

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AROSA Consultancy and Training P/L
AROSA Consultancy and Training P/L

How would you modernise this 1932 Harvard business letter? Chopping and changing punctuation, paragraphing, vocabulary and font, would make the reading more efficient for a modern audience.

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How would you modernise this 1932 Harvard business letter? Using Chop and Change checking on punctuation, paragraphing, font and vocabulary, would make the reading more efficient. 1 Style Manual: For Authors, Editors and Printers, 6th Edition (Aus)
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28 September 1932 Mr W J Filbert Vice Chairman, Finance Committee United States Steel Corporation 71 Broadway, New York, NY. Dear Mr Filbert, I have delayed answering your letter of 22 September so I may at the same time acknowledge the safe arrival of the photographs of labour-saving machinery you sent us. I now take much pleasure in acknowledging these photographs and enclose a formal acknowledgement from the Society. This, however, does not begin to express the appreciation I have for this contribution. It has arrived at a most opportune time, since the Industrial Management Department of the Harvard Business School is preparing to exhibit moving pictures on iron and steel organisations next week. This instruction will be supplemented by an exhibition of still pictures of labour-saving devices in iron and steel plants of the country, and you may be sure the collection you sent will occupy a permanent place. I think our exhibit of photographs of labour-saving machinery is quite impressive, since we received your photographs and sets from the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the Jones and Laughlin Steel Corporation and the Midvale Steel Company. Yours are particularly valuable because there is an opportunity for comparison between the methods used in earlier days and modern appliances, with data showing the decrease in manual labour and the increase in production. With renewed thanks for your cooperation, Yours truly, Frank C Ayres Executive Secretary. Enc. FCA: L Now 16% more efficient to read. 4
info@arosact.biz ✐ Your Work Writing Adviser ✐ Letter source: Harvard Business School 5

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Using chop and change checking for more efficient reading.

  • 1. How would you modernise this 1932 Harvard business letter? Using Chop and Change checking on punctuation, paragraphing, font and vocabulary, would make the reading more efficient. 1 Style Manual: For Authors, Editors and Printers, 6th Edition (Aus)
  • 2. 2
  • 4. 28 September 1932 Mr W J Filbert Vice Chairman, Finance Committee United States Steel Corporation 71 Broadway, New York, NY. Dear Mr Filbert, I have delayed answering your letter of 22 September so I may at the same time acknowledge the safe arrival of the photographs of labour-saving machinery you sent us. I now take much pleasure in acknowledging these photographs and enclose a formal acknowledgement from the Society. This, however, does not begin to express the appreciation I have for this contribution. It has arrived at a most opportune time, since the Industrial Management Department of the Harvard Business School is preparing to exhibit moving pictures on iron and steel organisations next week. This instruction will be supplemented by an exhibition of still pictures of labour-saving devices in iron and steel plants of the country, and you may be sure the collection you sent will occupy a permanent place. I think our exhibit of photographs of labour-saving machinery is quite impressive, since we received your photographs and sets from the Bethlehem Steel Corporation, the Jones and Laughlin Steel Corporation and the Midvale Steel Company. Yours are particularly valuable because there is an opportunity for comparison between the methods used in earlier days and modern appliances, with data showing the decrease in manual labour and the increase in production. With renewed thanks for your cooperation, Yours truly, Frank C Ayres Executive Secretary. Enc. FCA: L Now 16% more efficient to read. 4
  • 5. info@arosact.biz ✐ Your Work Writing Adviser ✐ Letter source: Harvard Business School 5