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The Good, The Bad and The Lovely

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Ngarangi Haerewa

Lord Capulet secures a lucrative cattle herding deal that will pay him $50,000 per year for 5 years. He celebrates at the saloon with his friend and business partner Montague. However, Capulet informs Montague that he will be cutting him out of the deal. When Capulet also proposes to Montague's love interest Jane, a furious Montague threatens violence. They draw their pistols at the saloon in a tense standoff as the story ends.

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The Good, The Bad and The Lovely By Ngarangi Haerewa and Libby Crysell
INT. THE SALOON After securing a lucrative business deal for the Verona County with best friend and partner Montague, an ecstatic and excited Lord Capulet saunters into the front entrance of an old 19th Century Saloon. He smiles widely to its inhabitants and proceeds to the bar. CAPULET Good evening inn keeper. BARTENDER Howdy Capulet, what can i do ya’ for? CAPULET The usual today my man. In fact, make it a bottle. BARTENDER If you don’t mind my askin’, what is the occassion of your spendings? The bartender proceeds to pour the brandy into a short glass, to which Lord Capulet finishes in a single swig. LORD CAPULET (refreshingly) Ahhhh! Well, I have at a meeting this afternoon, just acquired myself a large scale of land for cattle hearding in the coming spring. Lord Capulet pulls a bag of coins from the inside pocket of his jacket and slides a gold coin across the counter to the bartender. BARTENDER Much obliged sir. Last I heard you and that cowboy Monty were running your cattle together. Would it be too much too ask what his stake in this is? Lord Capulet shoots the bartender a curious and distasteful glare. CAPULET Yes it would be. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2. BARTENDER Well, I do apologise sir. LORD CAPULET Your un-graciousness is forgiven. I’ll ask you one more thing my good man? BARTENDER Yes sir? LORD CAPULET In a few short moments my wife to be and business partner will arrive, would you be so kind as to direct them over to my table. BARTENDER Of course. LORD CAPULET And would you barman, please bring with you two glasses and a bottle of your finest wine. Lord Capulet hands the bartender another gold piece from the safety of his pocket. BARTENDER Certainly sir. LORD CAPULET Thank you my good man. Lord Capulet proceeds to a table where he places his top hat on the table with his glass of District County brandy and rests his overcoat on his chair. After briefly consulting his pocket watch, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an engagement ring. After a brief moment of admiration and a sip of his brandy he returns the ring to the safety of his pocket. CUT TO EXT. SALOON ENTRANCE Montague walks ahead of Jane Smith, whom glances back briefly. Try as he might, Jane Smith avoids his gaze. A distinctive space seperates them as they enter. CUT TO
3. INT. THE SALOON CAPULET (adoringly) Ahhh my beautiful wife, sit down sit down. Capulet and Montague exchange brief pleasantries. Montague. MONTAGUE Capulet. LORD CAPULET Barman! BARTENDER Yes sir. LORD CAPULET Please bring my old friend a tall glass of whiskey. MONTAGUE Actually, if ya’ll don’t mind. I’ve developed a sudden hankering for something sweet. Mantague turns to Jane and winks. CAPULET (puzzled) A fruity brandy perhaps? MONTAGUE Mighty fine gesture old buddy. BARTENDER Think we got some of that. LORD CAPULET And Barman! BARTENDER yes? LORD CAPULET (quietly) Make it strong. (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4. BARTENDER Certainly. MONTAGUE I apologise for my absence at today’s meeting. It ain’t my place sitting at a table with them clever folk. Besides, I had matters close to my heart that needed attending to. Montague shoots Capulet’s wife a daring look as a salacious smirk crosses her face. CAPULET Ah no matter my old friend, all water under the bridge. MONTAGUE So how was that sorry excuse for a County board anyhoo? You manage to squeeze them for a buck or two? LORD CAPULET Montague my old friend, let’s just say it was a very fortuitous outcome indeed. Lost in the taste of his treasured brandy, Montague turns to his partner in silence and curiousity as he briefly catches his last few words. MONTAGUE Fortuitous you say? CAPULET Indeed. I was hoping to attend to a matter close to my OWN heart, however, business must be attended to. (quietly; under his breath) Two birds with one stone i s’pose. MONTAGUE Well get on with it. CAPULET The Verona County has, for MY efforts, agreed on a contract of a duration no longer than 5 years, summing to an amount of... (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5. MONTAGUE Yeah? CAPULET fifty thousand florins per year. An astounded and elated Montague collects himself after briefly choking on his prized brandy. MONTAGUE Don’t ya’ll be foolin’ now? Capulet nods in negating his fears. MONTAGUE By god we’re rich. WE’RE RICH DAMMIT! Barman! i’m fixin’ for a good time, send me a bottle of your finest. Montague embraces Capulet in excitement as he ruffles his hair, overjoyed. CAPULET However, I will be cutting you out of our deal. Just as he begins to sip at his bottle, he retracts it from his lips as he looks back at Capulet. MONTAGUE Come again? CAPULET Well surely, you did not expect a fair, if any stake in this? After all, I have headed this operation since day one, I have carried the financial burden, I have done everything. Needless to say, you are dead weight, a liability if you will. It’s nothing personal, simply business. After pausing for a moment to capture the severity of his predicament, a puzzled and increasingly violent Montague responds. MONTAGUE You son of a... (CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6. CAPULET Please! You are in the company of a lady. Which reminds me. Jane my dear. Would you do me the highest honour. Capulet pulls the ring from his pocket And become my wife, Lady Capulet? An awe-struck Jane looks at Capulet with curiosity and perplexion. She gazes into the eyes of a worried Montague with sympathy, turns to Capulet and half-heartedly replies. JANE SMITH I will. LORD CAPULET Perfect. A heart broken Montague stands spectator, watching in shock and horror. He drops his glass. MONTAGUE You sons of bitches. God forbid I, and the rest of my kin ever cross yours and your bastard spawns path again. Slowly Montague’s hand recedes to his hip, where his hand wavers over his gun. He unclips his holster and readies his gun. Capulet turns and replies in kind, unclipping his own holster and readying his pistol. The inhabitants of the bar turn in silence and anticipation. The barman removes the bottles of brandy atop the bar. Their hands shake uneasily over their respective pistols. The bar remains silent. They load their pistols. FADE TO BLACK

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The Good, The Bad and The Lovely

  • 1. The Good, The Bad and The Lovely By Ngarangi Haerewa and Libby Crysell
  • 2. INT. THE SALOON After securing a lucrative business deal for the Verona County with best friend and partner Montague, an ecstatic and excited Lord Capulet saunters into the front entrance of an old 19th Century Saloon. He smiles widely to its inhabitants and proceeds to the bar. CAPULET Good evening inn keeper. BARTENDER Howdy Capulet, what can i do ya’ for? CAPULET The usual today my man. In fact, make it a bottle. BARTENDER If you don’t mind my askin’, what is the occassion of your spendings? The bartender proceeds to pour the brandy into a short glass, to which Lord Capulet finishes in a single swig. LORD CAPULET (refreshingly) Ahhhh! Well, I have at a meeting this afternoon, just acquired myself a large scale of land for cattle hearding in the coming spring. Lord Capulet pulls a bag of coins from the inside pocket of his jacket and slides a gold coin across the counter to the bartender. BARTENDER Much obliged sir. Last I heard you and that cowboy Monty were running your cattle together. Would it be too much too ask what his stake in this is? Lord Capulet shoots the bartender a curious and distasteful glare. CAPULET Yes it would be. (CONTINUED)
  • 3. CONTINUED: 2. BARTENDER Well, I do apologise sir. LORD CAPULET Your un-graciousness is forgiven. I’ll ask you one more thing my good man? BARTENDER Yes sir? LORD CAPULET In a few short moments my wife to be and business partner will arrive, would you be so kind as to direct them over to my table. BARTENDER Of course. LORD CAPULET And would you barman, please bring with you two glasses and a bottle of your finest wine. Lord Capulet hands the bartender another gold piece from the safety of his pocket. BARTENDER Certainly sir. LORD CAPULET Thank you my good man. Lord Capulet proceeds to a table where he places his top hat on the table with his glass of District County brandy and rests his overcoat on his chair. After briefly consulting his pocket watch, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an engagement ring. After a brief moment of admiration and a sip of his brandy he returns the ring to the safety of his pocket. CUT TO EXT. SALOON ENTRANCE Montague walks ahead of Jane Smith, whom glances back briefly. Try as he might, Jane Smith avoids his gaze. A distinctive space seperates them as they enter. CUT TO
  • 4. 3. INT. THE SALOON CAPULET (adoringly) Ahhh my beautiful wife, sit down sit down. Capulet and Montague exchange brief pleasantries. Montague. MONTAGUE Capulet. LORD CAPULET Barman! BARTENDER Yes sir. LORD CAPULET Please bring my old friend a tall glass of whiskey. MONTAGUE Actually, if ya’ll don’t mind. I’ve developed a sudden hankering for something sweet. Mantague turns to Jane and winks. CAPULET (puzzled) A fruity brandy perhaps? MONTAGUE Mighty fine gesture old buddy. BARTENDER Think we got some of that. LORD CAPULET And Barman! BARTENDER yes? LORD CAPULET (quietly) Make it strong. (CONTINUED)
  • 5. CONTINUED: 4. BARTENDER Certainly. MONTAGUE I apologise for my absence at today’s meeting. It ain’t my place sitting at a table with them clever folk. Besides, I had matters close to my heart that needed attending to. Montague shoots Capulet’s wife a daring look as a salacious smirk crosses her face. CAPULET Ah no matter my old friend, all water under the bridge. MONTAGUE So how was that sorry excuse for a County board anyhoo? You manage to squeeze them for a buck or two? LORD CAPULET Montague my old friend, let’s just say it was a very fortuitous outcome indeed. Lost in the taste of his treasured brandy, Montague turns to his partner in silence and curiousity as he briefly catches his last few words. MONTAGUE Fortuitous you say? CAPULET Indeed. I was hoping to attend to a matter close to my OWN heart, however, business must be attended to. (quietly; under his breath) Two birds with one stone i s’pose. MONTAGUE Well get on with it. CAPULET The Verona County has, for MY efforts, agreed on a contract of a duration no longer than 5 years, summing to an amount of... (CONTINUED)
  • 6. CONTINUED: 5. MONTAGUE Yeah? CAPULET fifty thousand florins per year. An astounded and elated Montague collects himself after briefly choking on his prized brandy. MONTAGUE Don’t ya’ll be foolin’ now? Capulet nods in negating his fears. MONTAGUE By god we’re rich. WE’RE RICH DAMMIT! Barman! i’m fixin’ for a good time, send me a bottle of your finest. Montague embraces Capulet in excitement as he ruffles his hair, overjoyed. CAPULET However, I will be cutting you out of our deal. Just as he begins to sip at his bottle, he retracts it from his lips as he looks back at Capulet. MONTAGUE Come again? CAPULET Well surely, you did not expect a fair, if any stake in this? After all, I have headed this operation since day one, I have carried the financial burden, I have done everything. Needless to say, you are dead weight, a liability if you will. It’s nothing personal, simply business. After pausing for a moment to capture the severity of his predicament, a puzzled and increasingly violent Montague responds. MONTAGUE You son of a... (CONTINUED)
  • 7. CONTINUED: 6. CAPULET Please! You are in the company of a lady. Which reminds me. Jane my dear. Would you do me the highest honour. Capulet pulls the ring from his pocket And become my wife, Lady Capulet? An awe-struck Jane looks at Capulet with curiosity and perplexion. She gazes into the eyes of a worried Montague with sympathy, turns to Capulet and half-heartedly replies. JANE SMITH I will. LORD CAPULET Perfect. A heart broken Montague stands spectator, watching in shock and horror. He drops his glass. MONTAGUE You sons of bitches. God forbid I, and the rest of my kin ever cross yours and your bastard spawns path again. Slowly Montague’s hand recedes to his hip, where his hand wavers over his gun. He unclips his holster and readies his gun. Capulet turns and replies in kind, unclipping his own holster and readying his pistol. The inhabitants of the bar turn in silence and anticipation. The barman removes the bottles of brandy atop the bar. Their hands shake uneasily over their respective pistols. The bar remains silent. They load their pistols. FADE TO BLACK