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The Good, The Bad and The Lovely
By
Ngarangi Haerewa and Libby Crysell
INT. THE SALOON
After securing a lucrative business deal for the Verona
County with best friend and partner Montague, an ecstatic
and excited Lord Capulet saunters into the front entrance of
an old 19th Century Saloon. He smiles widely to its
inhabitants and proceeds to the bar.
CAPULET
Good evening inn keeper.
BARTENDER
Howdy Capulet, what can i do ya’
for?
CAPULET
The usual today my man. In fact,
make it a bottle.
BARTENDER
If you don’t mind my askin’, what
is the occassion of your spendings?
The bartender proceeds to pour the brandy into a short
glass, to which Lord Capulet finishes in a single swig.
LORD CAPULET
(refreshingly)
Ahhhh! Well, I have at a meeting
this afternoon, just acquired
myself a large scale of land for
cattle hearding in the coming
spring.
Lord Capulet pulls a bag of coins from the inside pocket of
his jacket and slides a gold coin across the counter to the
bartender.
BARTENDER
Much obliged sir. Last I heard you
and that cowboy Monty were running
your cattle together. Would it be
too much too ask what his stake in
this is?
Lord Capulet shoots the bartender a curious and distasteful
glare.
CAPULET
Yes it would be.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 2.
BARTENDER
Well, I do apologise sir.
LORD CAPULET
Your un-graciousness is forgiven.
I’ll ask you one more thing my good
man?
BARTENDER
Yes sir?
LORD CAPULET
In a few short moments my wife to
be and business partner will
arrive, would you be so kind as to
direct them over to my table.
BARTENDER
Of course.
LORD CAPULET
And would you barman, please bring
with you two glasses and a bottle
of your finest wine.
Lord Capulet hands the bartender another gold piece from the
safety of his pocket.
BARTENDER
Certainly sir.
LORD CAPULET
Thank you my good man.
Lord Capulet proceeds to a table where he places his top hat
on the table with his glass of District County brandy and
rests his overcoat on his chair. After briefly consulting
his pocket watch, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out
an engagement ring. After a brief moment of admiration and a
sip of his brandy he returns the ring to the safety of his
pocket.
CUT TO
EXT. SALOON ENTRANCE
Montague walks ahead of Jane Smith, whom glances back
briefly. Try as he might, Jane Smith avoids his gaze. A
distinctive space seperates them as they enter.
CUT TO
3.
INT. THE SALOON
CAPULET
(adoringly)
Ahhh my beautiful wife, sit down
sit down.
Capulet and Montague exchange brief pleasantries.
Montague.
MONTAGUE
Capulet.
LORD CAPULET
Barman!
BARTENDER
Yes sir.
LORD CAPULET
Please bring my old friend a tall
glass of whiskey.
MONTAGUE
Actually, if ya’ll don’t mind. I’ve
developed a sudden hankering for
something sweet.
Mantague turns to Jane and winks.
CAPULET
(puzzled)
A fruity brandy perhaps?
MONTAGUE
Mighty fine gesture old buddy.
BARTENDER
Think we got some of that.
LORD CAPULET
And Barman!
BARTENDER
yes?
LORD CAPULET
(quietly)
Make it strong.
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 4.
BARTENDER
Certainly.
MONTAGUE
I apologise for my absence at
today’s meeting. It ain’t my place
sitting at a table with them clever
folk. Besides, I had matters close
to my heart that needed attending
to.
Montague shoots Capulet’s wife a daring look as a salacious
smirk crosses her face.
CAPULET
Ah no matter my old friend, all
water under the bridge.
MONTAGUE
So how was that sorry excuse for a
County board anyhoo? You manage to
squeeze them for a buck or two?
LORD CAPULET
Montague my old friend, let’s just
say it was a very fortuitous
outcome indeed.
Lost in the taste of his treasured brandy, Montague turns to
his partner in silence and curiousity as he briefly catches
his last few words.
MONTAGUE
Fortuitous you say?
CAPULET
Indeed. I was hoping to attend to a
matter close to my OWN heart,
however, business must be attended
to.
(quietly; under his breath)
Two birds with one stone i s’pose.
MONTAGUE
Well get on with it.
CAPULET
The Verona County has, for MY
efforts, agreed on a contract of a
duration no longer than 5 years,
summing to an amount of...
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 5.
MONTAGUE
Yeah?
CAPULET
fifty thousand florins per year.
An astounded and elated Montague collects himself after
briefly choking on his prized brandy.
MONTAGUE
Don’t ya’ll be foolin’ now?
Capulet nods in negating his fears.
MONTAGUE
By god we’re rich. WE’RE RICH
DAMMIT! Barman! i’m fixin’ for a
good time, send me a bottle of your
finest.
Montague embraces Capulet in excitement as he ruffles his
hair, overjoyed.
CAPULET
However, I will be cutting you out
of our deal.
Just as he begins to sip at his bottle, he retracts it from
his lips as he looks back at Capulet.
MONTAGUE
Come again?
CAPULET
Well surely, you did not expect a
fair, if any stake in this? After
all, I have headed this operation
since day one, I have carried the
financial burden, I have done
everything. Needless to say, you
are dead weight, a liability if you
will. It’s nothing personal, simply
business.
After pausing for a moment to capture the severity of his
predicament, a puzzled and increasingly violent Montague
responds.
MONTAGUE
You son of a...
(CONTINUED)
CONTINUED: 6.
CAPULET
Please! You are in the company of a
lady. Which reminds me. Jane my
dear. Would you do me the highest
honour.
Capulet pulls the ring from his pocket
And become my wife, Lady Capulet?
An awe-struck Jane looks at Capulet with curiosity and
perplexion. She gazes into the eyes of a worried Montague
with sympathy, turns to Capulet and half-heartedly replies.
JANE SMITH
I will.
LORD CAPULET
Perfect.
A heart broken Montague stands spectator, watching in shock
and horror. He drops his glass.
MONTAGUE
You sons of bitches. God forbid I,
and the rest of my kin ever cross
yours and your bastard spawns path
again.
Slowly Montague’s hand recedes to his hip, where his hand
wavers over his gun. He unclips his holster and readies his
gun. Capulet turns and replies in kind, unclipping his own
holster and readying his pistol. The inhabitants of the bar
turn in silence and anticipation. The barman removes the
bottles of brandy atop the bar. Their hands shake uneasily
over their respective pistols. The bar remains silent. They
load their pistols.
FADE TO BLACK

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The Good, The Bad and The Lovely

  • 1. The Good, The Bad and The Lovely By Ngarangi Haerewa and Libby Crysell
  • 2. INT. THE SALOON After securing a lucrative business deal for the Verona County with best friend and partner Montague, an ecstatic and excited Lord Capulet saunters into the front entrance of an old 19th Century Saloon. He smiles widely to its inhabitants and proceeds to the bar. CAPULET Good evening inn keeper. BARTENDER Howdy Capulet, what can i do ya’ for? CAPULET The usual today my man. In fact, make it a bottle. BARTENDER If you don’t mind my askin’, what is the occassion of your spendings? The bartender proceeds to pour the brandy into a short glass, to which Lord Capulet finishes in a single swig. LORD CAPULET (refreshingly) Ahhhh! Well, I have at a meeting this afternoon, just acquired myself a large scale of land for cattle hearding in the coming spring. Lord Capulet pulls a bag of coins from the inside pocket of his jacket and slides a gold coin across the counter to the bartender. BARTENDER Much obliged sir. Last I heard you and that cowboy Monty were running your cattle together. Would it be too much too ask what his stake in this is? Lord Capulet shoots the bartender a curious and distasteful glare. CAPULET Yes it would be. (CONTINUED)
  • 3. CONTINUED: 2. BARTENDER Well, I do apologise sir. LORD CAPULET Your un-graciousness is forgiven. I’ll ask you one more thing my good man? BARTENDER Yes sir? LORD CAPULET In a few short moments my wife to be and business partner will arrive, would you be so kind as to direct them over to my table. BARTENDER Of course. LORD CAPULET And would you barman, please bring with you two glasses and a bottle of your finest wine. Lord Capulet hands the bartender another gold piece from the safety of his pocket. BARTENDER Certainly sir. LORD CAPULET Thank you my good man. Lord Capulet proceeds to a table where he places his top hat on the table with his glass of District County brandy and rests his overcoat on his chair. After briefly consulting his pocket watch, he reaches into his pocket and pulls out an engagement ring. After a brief moment of admiration and a sip of his brandy he returns the ring to the safety of his pocket. CUT TO EXT. SALOON ENTRANCE Montague walks ahead of Jane Smith, whom glances back briefly. Try as he might, Jane Smith avoids his gaze. A distinctive space seperates them as they enter. CUT TO
  • 4. 3. INT. THE SALOON CAPULET (adoringly) Ahhh my beautiful wife, sit down sit down. Capulet and Montague exchange brief pleasantries. Montague. MONTAGUE Capulet. LORD CAPULET Barman! BARTENDER Yes sir. LORD CAPULET Please bring my old friend a tall glass of whiskey. MONTAGUE Actually, if ya’ll don’t mind. I’ve developed a sudden hankering for something sweet. Mantague turns to Jane and winks. CAPULET (puzzled) A fruity brandy perhaps? MONTAGUE Mighty fine gesture old buddy. BARTENDER Think we got some of that. LORD CAPULET And Barman! BARTENDER yes? LORD CAPULET (quietly) Make it strong. (CONTINUED)
  • 5. CONTINUED: 4. BARTENDER Certainly. MONTAGUE I apologise for my absence at today’s meeting. It ain’t my place sitting at a table with them clever folk. Besides, I had matters close to my heart that needed attending to. Montague shoots Capulet’s wife a daring look as a salacious smirk crosses her face. CAPULET Ah no matter my old friend, all water under the bridge. MONTAGUE So how was that sorry excuse for a County board anyhoo? You manage to squeeze them for a buck or two? LORD CAPULET Montague my old friend, let’s just say it was a very fortuitous outcome indeed. Lost in the taste of his treasured brandy, Montague turns to his partner in silence and curiousity as he briefly catches his last few words. MONTAGUE Fortuitous you say? CAPULET Indeed. I was hoping to attend to a matter close to my OWN heart, however, business must be attended to. (quietly; under his breath) Two birds with one stone i s’pose. MONTAGUE Well get on with it. CAPULET The Verona County has, for MY efforts, agreed on a contract of a duration no longer than 5 years, summing to an amount of... (CONTINUED)
  • 6. CONTINUED: 5. MONTAGUE Yeah? CAPULET fifty thousand florins per year. An astounded and elated Montague collects himself after briefly choking on his prized brandy. MONTAGUE Don’t ya’ll be foolin’ now? Capulet nods in negating his fears. MONTAGUE By god we’re rich. WE’RE RICH DAMMIT! Barman! i’m fixin’ for a good time, send me a bottle of your finest. Montague embraces Capulet in excitement as he ruffles his hair, overjoyed. CAPULET However, I will be cutting you out of our deal. Just as he begins to sip at his bottle, he retracts it from his lips as he looks back at Capulet. MONTAGUE Come again? CAPULET Well surely, you did not expect a fair, if any stake in this? After all, I have headed this operation since day one, I have carried the financial burden, I have done everything. Needless to say, you are dead weight, a liability if you will. It’s nothing personal, simply business. After pausing for a moment to capture the severity of his predicament, a puzzled and increasingly violent Montague responds. MONTAGUE You son of a... (CONTINUED)
  • 7. CONTINUED: 6. CAPULET Please! You are in the company of a lady. Which reminds me. Jane my dear. Would you do me the highest honour. Capulet pulls the ring from his pocket And become my wife, Lady Capulet? An awe-struck Jane looks at Capulet with curiosity and perplexion. She gazes into the eyes of a worried Montague with sympathy, turns to Capulet and half-heartedly replies. JANE SMITH I will. LORD CAPULET Perfect. A heart broken Montague stands spectator, watching in shock and horror. He drops his glass. MONTAGUE You sons of bitches. God forbid I, and the rest of my kin ever cross yours and your bastard spawns path again. Slowly Montague’s hand recedes to his hip, where his hand wavers over his gun. He unclips his holster and readies his gun. Capulet turns and replies in kind, unclipping his own holster and readying his pistol. The inhabitants of the bar turn in silence and anticipation. The barman removes the bottles of brandy atop the bar. Their hands shake uneasily over their respective pistols. The bar remains silent. They load their pistols. FADE TO BLACK