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How to be a gentleman

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Alaina Fox
Alaina Fox

The document provides advice on being a gentleman, including maintaining proper hygiene and grooming, dressing stylishly, behaving politely through etiquette and manners, respectfully conversing with women on dates, showing respect in relationships, and resolving conflicts reasonably without violence. The overarching message is that a gentleman prioritizes caring for others through kindness, consideration, and chivalry in both appearance and conduct.

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THE CHANDLER JACQUES SCHOOL OF BEING A GENTLEMAN AKA ALL THAT SHIT YOU NEVER LEARNED GROWING UP PART ONE
1. PERSONAL GROOMING Perhaps the most important point, so pay attention. Only sluts date greasy men.
HYGEINE 1. Bathe regularly. You have a shower and running water now. Use them. 2. That being said: cologne is not shower gel. You want to charm your date, not choke them. 3. Hair gel is to be used sparingly. Your hair needs to be sculpted, but it should not literally feel like you’re a Greek statue.
2. STAYING STYLISH This section isn’t that important because you have me, but you should still pay attention to this because I’m not your mother. I will not lay your clothes out for you every morning.
The 15 Commandments of Fashion 1. Thou shalt know thy size. Being aware of your measurements can dramatically improve your look. Everything should almost hug your shape without strangling your crotch. Oversized clothing is an epidemic, and this should be considered your vaccination. 2. Thou shalt “keep it simple.” You want to look good, but don’t overdo it. Don’t wear jewelry, you aren’t a woman. Don’t wear chains, you aren’t in a band. Being flashy is as simple as wearing a nice watch or sporting your sharpest dress shoes. 3. Thou shalt reevaluate the word “casual.” It doesn’t mean boring. Experiment with collared shirts and approach casual a little differently. 4. Thou shalt pay attention to supporting pieces. Your top and bottom should match. If your top is rugged, your bottom should be too. Don’t wear your old ratty sweaters with a beautiful silk and wool suit. That’s almost as bad as a 40 year old woman in yoga pants. 5. Thou shalt never go shopping alone. Really, just without me. I don’t trust you around sales people who work for commission. You’re too young and naïve still. 6. Thou shalt stay a notch above. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed (granted, don’t overdo it). However, you should not be dressed better than your host. Or in your case, your boss. 7. Thou shalt pay attention to detail. The last thing you put on should be the first thing noticed. Mind the details more than the main part of your outfit. Because you’re a fashion preschooler, details include the following: scarves, ties, subtle pocket squares, etc. 8. Thou shalt invest in one superb pair of shoes. Bitches love shoes. Keep them looking sharp and clean. Wash them and press them like any of your other clothes. Most men don’t do this, so this will give you points and show that you’re a man of taste. 9. Thou shalt avoid logo tees. Do you want to look like a walking Mountain Dew ad? Lose the billboard tee and go for a v-neck (but only if you have well-groomed chest hair; nobody needs that teen wolf shit). 10. Thou shalt disregard trends. Don’t buy something because it’s in. Trust me, you’ll never wear it. Stick to things you know you like and build from there. 11. Thou shalt not be a sucker for brands. Not all brands are as quality as mine are. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t get much better than Chandler Jacques. 12. Thou shalt cultivate thy image. Invest time and money into your fashion sense. It’s not just your outfit; it’s a mode of communication, just as important as your career and your relationships. 13. Thou shalt always ask me first. You can always trust me to tell you if it looks like the 1990s barfed all over you. 14. Thou shalt always shave. It doesn’t matter if you look like a Greek God and dress sharper than me. The beard is an attraction killer. It will stab any inkling of sexual desire right in the throat. Use a shave brush & old-fashioned double-edged razor and get a perfect shave every time. 15. Thou shalt experiment. But only if I say it’s okay.
STYLE 1. Get regular hair cuts. Again, none of that teen wolf shit. Dogs are pets for a reason. 2. Keep it simple. Clothes should emphasize you, not distract from you.
3. ETIQUETTE Because let’s be realistic, nobody likes a douche bag, especially not girls.
Be Polite 1. A true gentleman is polite to everyone, not just the objects of their affection. 2. Always be aware of how to help others. 3. Always hold the door for people behind you. 4. Offer to carry things for old people and pregnant women. 5. Don’t be an idiot though. Don’t risk your life to look polite. 6. Even when people are being morons, be polite.
Ask Questions 1. “How was your day?” 2. “May I help you?” 3. Statements of courtesy are also acceptable and suggested. 4. “Let me get that for you.” 5. “I’ll take care of that.”
Vulgarity 1. Don’t swear. 2. Seriously just don’t do it. 3. It’s disgusting. 4. People will think you aren’t classy. 5. You don’t have to stop swearing, but for the love of god, hold your tongue. 6. You aren’t the commander. 7. Even when the commander swears, I get a little bit angry. 8. Don’t do it.
Public don’ts 1. Fart 2. Belch 3. Speak too loudly 4. Be demanding 5. Be offensive 6. Drink heavily 7. A gentleman is always in control of himself.
On a Date Always hold your date’s hand when you cross the street. It makes her feel protected and god forbid a woman ever feel unsafe. No really, don’t ever let her feel unsafe because that will be the end of all your happiness. She will make your life hell because women are fucked up and irrational.
WHEN CONVERSING Now, we’re getting to the good stuff. When speaking to women, here’s what you should know.
Subject Matter 1. Keep the focus off of you. 2. But still talk about yourself a little. 3. A respectable woman will want to know about you too. 4. But don’t share too much because women like mystery. 5. Are you confused yet? Welcome to the world of women. 6. Always be aware of popular culture (music, sports, etc.)
Avoid Politics Seriously, we know you just became Kennedy’s banana boy, pet, what have you, etc. But you are not yet well-versed enough in your field to have the politics conversation so avoid it at all costs or you will actually ruin every ounce of credibility you have and therefore your life.
BEING POLITE WITH GIRLS Yes, there are actually different rules when it comes to being generally polite and being polite with a woman.
Don’t Stare Despite what the League implies, women are not objects, and they do not like to be treated as such. DO NOT OGLE THEM OR SAY ANYTHING REMOTELY DEGRADING OR YOU WILL RUIN YOUR DATE AND/OR RELATIONSHIP.
Extra Respect 1. Open the door for her. This is just common and expected. 2. Guide her through the room. Put your hand on the small of her back, but keep it a good four inches above her ass or you’re at risk of being that pervy guy. 3. Open the car door. Every man should do this for the woman he’s dating. Maybe not every time you go out, but definitely on your first date or a special occasion. It’ll score you major points. 4. Foot the bill. The woman never pays for anything on a date. Ever. 5. She should always walk on the inside of the sidewalk. No woman wants to feel like she’s going to get nailed by an Escalade on your date. It’s a good way to show off your protective side without looking like an asshole.
Taboo Topics 1. How hot other girls are. You do want to have sex with this girl, right? 2. If she is not into sports, do not discuss sports. 3. Girls tend to like music, so that’s a safe bet. 4. Teasing is fine, but do not be cruel. 5. Teasing also does not involve vulgarity. 6. Gentlemen never call a woman a dirty word.
Protect 1. The world is more threatening for women, especially at night or in bad areas. 2. Walk her to her door or car if possible. 3. It doesn’t matter how strong she actually is: girls will always be targeted first. 4. Always offer her to drive her to and from.
GIRLFRIEND STATUS Yeah, so you bagged her. You still have to be nice. I know it sucks, but that’s just how it is.
Respect 1. Keep doing nice things for her. Being selfish is not attractive. 2. Offer to carry things for her. 3. Let her watch what she wants sometimes. 4. She will appreciate the selflessness, even if she doesn’t voice it.
Keep her happy 1. Cards are nice. 2. Girls really love flowers. 3. It doesn’t have to be expensive and showy. 4. It’s the effort that counts here. 5. In fact, a rose, a simple note, or a kiss will keep a girl happy for days. 6. If you love her, tell her. Tell her often. 7. Be open and share with her. 8. Laugh with her.
Defend 1. Don’t punch every single man who stares at her. 2. However, if someone is making advances, it is totally acceptable to intervene. 3. Politely remove her from the conversation or speak for her. 4. Physical contact is reassuring and also marks your territory.
FIGHTING The ins and outs of fighting because you are a man, and you’re going to get the urges to kill. This is how to do it in a classy way.
Prioritize 1. Don’t back down from a challenge; stand up for yourself. 2. Do not sacrifice your values for someone who is just looking for a fight with anybody.
Be reasonable 1. Never use weapons. You could get hurt. 2. Never fight in or against groups. 3. Do not try to be Chuck Norris. 4. If your opponent is down, you’ve made your point, and it’s time to stop. 5. Offer to help him up, but expect a bad reaction. He may not share your values.
FINAL RECAP • Be sincere • Do not obsess over your looks. Gentlemen look good, but they are polite and unselfish. • Looking good doesn’t mean throwing away t-shirts and jeans. It just means they can’t be wrinkled, and they need to look good. Also, belts can do wonders. • Be aware of your surroundings and your actions. Assume people are always watching. • When talking, give your date/friend your undivided attention. • Never ever honk your car horn when picking a girl up. Always walk to the door and knock/ring the bell. • Always lead by example and be considerate. • Smiling and making eye contact creates an emotional bond with others. • Being a gentlemen is as much about attitude as it is about appearance. • Loving a girl always means giving. Always give (love, time, words of affirmation). Just don’t give so much that you resent her.
Warnings • Drinking in excessive impairs your judgment. • Gentlemen have dignity and honor, yet they are humble and thoughtful. You are not better than anyone else. Don’t think it, don’t act it. • A gentleman knows when he loses a fight. Know the different between standing up for yourself and being a moron. • Be helpful, not overbearing.
A FINAL WORD Any girl that doesn’t accept or understand your generous and kind treatment is not worthy of your time. Don’t waste it.

More Related Content

How to be a gentleman

  • 1. THE CHANDLER JACQUES SCHOOL OF BEING A GENTLEMAN AKA ALL THAT SHIT YOU NEVER LEARNED GROWING UP PART ONE
  • 2. 1. PERSONAL GROOMING Perhaps the most important point, so pay attention. Only sluts date greasy men.
  • 3. HYGEINE 1. Bathe regularly. You have a shower and running water now. Use them. 2. That being said: cologne is not shower gel. You want to charm your date, not choke them. 3. Hair gel is to be used sparingly. Your hair needs to be sculpted, but it should not literally feel like you’re a Greek statue.
  • 4. 2. STAYING STYLISH This section isn’t that important because you have me, but you should still pay attention to this because I’m not your mother. I will not lay your clothes out for you every morning.
  • 5. The 15 Commandments of Fashion 1. Thou shalt know thy size. Being aware of your measurements can dramatically improve your look. Everything should almost hug your shape without strangling your crotch. Oversized clothing is an epidemic, and this should be considered your vaccination. 2. Thou shalt “keep it simple.” You want to look good, but don’t overdo it. Don’t wear jewelry, you aren’t a woman. Don’t wear chains, you aren’t in a band. Being flashy is as simple as wearing a nice watch or sporting your sharpest dress shoes. 3. Thou shalt reevaluate the word “casual.” It doesn’t mean boring. Experiment with collared shirts and approach casual a little differently. 4. Thou shalt pay attention to supporting pieces. Your top and bottom should match. If your top is rugged, your bottom should be too. Don’t wear your old ratty sweaters with a beautiful silk and wool suit. That’s almost as bad as a 40 year old woman in yoga pants. 5. Thou shalt never go shopping alone. Really, just without me. I don’t trust you around sales people who work for commission. You’re too young and naïve still. 6. Thou shalt stay a notch above. It’s always better to be overdressed than underdressed (granted, don’t overdo it). However, you should not be dressed better than your host. Or in your case, your boss. 7. Thou shalt pay attention to detail. The last thing you put on should be the first thing noticed. Mind the details more than the main part of your outfit. Because you’re a fashion preschooler, details include the following: scarves, ties, subtle pocket squares, etc. 8. Thou shalt invest in one superb pair of shoes. Bitches love shoes. Keep them looking sharp and clean. Wash them and press them like any of your other clothes. Most men don’t do this, so this will give you points and show that you’re a man of taste. 9. Thou shalt avoid logo tees. Do you want to look like a walking Mountain Dew ad? Lose the billboard tee and go for a v-neck (but only if you have well-groomed chest hair; nobody needs that teen wolf shit). 10. Thou shalt disregard trends. Don’t buy something because it’s in. Trust me, you’ll never wear it. Stick to things you know you like and build from there. 11. Thou shalt not be a sucker for brands. Not all brands are as quality as mine are. Let’s be honest, it doesn’t get much better than Chandler Jacques. 12. Thou shalt cultivate thy image. Invest time and money into your fashion sense. It’s not just your outfit; it’s a mode of communication, just as important as your career and your relationships. 13. Thou shalt always ask me first. You can always trust me to tell you if it looks like the 1990s barfed all over you. 14. Thou shalt always shave. It doesn’t matter if you look like a Greek God and dress sharper than me. The beard is an attraction killer. It will stab any inkling of sexual desire right in the throat. Use a shave brush & old-fashioned double-edged razor and get a perfect shave every time. 15. Thou shalt experiment. But only if I say it’s okay.
  • 6. STYLE 1. Get regular hair cuts. Again, none of that teen wolf shit. Dogs are pets for a reason. 2. Keep it simple. Clothes should emphasize you, not distract from you.
  • 7. 3. ETIQUETTE Because let’s be realistic, nobody likes a douche bag, especially not girls.
  • 8. Be Polite 1. A true gentleman is polite to everyone, not just the objects of their affection. 2. Always be aware of how to help others. 3. Always hold the door for people behind you. 4. Offer to carry things for old people and pregnant women. 5. Don’t be an idiot though. Don’t risk your life to look polite. 6. Even when people are being morons, be polite.
  • 9. Ask Questions 1. “How was your day?” 2. “May I help you?” 3. Statements of courtesy are also acceptable and suggested. 4. “Let me get that for you.” 5. “I’ll take care of that.”
  • 10. Vulgarity 1. Don’t swear. 2. Seriously just don’t do it. 3. It’s disgusting. 4. People will think you aren’t classy. 5. You don’t have to stop swearing, but for the love of god, hold your tongue. 6. You aren’t the commander. 7. Even when the commander swears, I get a little bit angry. 8. Don’t do it.
  • 11. Public don’ts 1. Fart 2. Belch 3. Speak too loudly 4. Be demanding 5. Be offensive 6. Drink heavily 7. A gentleman is always in control of himself.
  • 12. On a Date Always hold your date’s hand when you cross the street. It makes her feel protected and god forbid a woman ever feel unsafe. No really, don’t ever let her feel unsafe because that will be the end of all your happiness. She will make your life hell because women are fucked up and irrational.
  • 13. WHEN CONVERSING Now, we’re getting to the good stuff. When speaking to women, here’s what you should know.
  • 14. Subject Matter 1. Keep the focus off of you. 2. But still talk about yourself a little. 3. A respectable woman will want to know about you too. 4. But don’t share too much because women like mystery. 5. Are you confused yet? Welcome to the world of women. 6. Always be aware of popular culture (music, sports, etc.)
  • 15. Avoid Politics Seriously, we know you just became Kennedy’s banana boy, pet, what have you, etc. But you are not yet well-versed enough in your field to have the politics conversation so avoid it at all costs or you will actually ruin every ounce of credibility you have and therefore your life.
  • 16. BEING POLITE WITH GIRLS Yes, there are actually different rules when it comes to being generally polite and being polite with a woman.
  • 17. Don’t Stare Despite what the League implies, women are not objects, and they do not like to be treated as such. DO NOT OGLE THEM OR SAY ANYTHING REMOTELY DEGRADING OR YOU WILL RUIN YOUR DATE AND/OR RELATIONSHIP.
  • 18. Extra Respect 1. Open the door for her. This is just common and expected. 2. Guide her through the room. Put your hand on the small of her back, but keep it a good four inches above her ass or you’re at risk of being that pervy guy. 3. Open the car door. Every man should do this for the woman he’s dating. Maybe not every time you go out, but definitely on your first date or a special occasion. It’ll score you major points. 4. Foot the bill. The woman never pays for anything on a date. Ever. 5. She should always walk on the inside of the sidewalk. No woman wants to feel like she’s going to get nailed by an Escalade on your date. It’s a good way to show off your protective side without looking like an asshole.
  • 19. Taboo Topics 1. How hot other girls are. You do want to have sex with this girl, right? 2. If she is not into sports, do not discuss sports. 3. Girls tend to like music, so that’s a safe bet. 4. Teasing is fine, but do not be cruel. 5. Teasing also does not involve vulgarity. 6. Gentlemen never call a woman a dirty word.
  • 20. Protect 1. The world is more threatening for women, especially at night or in bad areas. 2. Walk her to her door or car if possible. 3. It doesn’t matter how strong she actually is: girls will always be targeted first. 4. Always offer her to drive her to and from.
  • 21. GIRLFRIEND STATUS Yeah, so you bagged her. You still have to be nice. I know it sucks, but that’s just how it is.
  • 22. Respect 1. Keep doing nice things for her. Being selfish is not attractive. 2. Offer to carry things for her. 3. Let her watch what she wants sometimes. 4. She will appreciate the selflessness, even if she doesn’t voice it.
  • 23. Keep her happy 1. Cards are nice. 2. Girls really love flowers. 3. It doesn’t have to be expensive and showy. 4. It’s the effort that counts here. 5. In fact, a rose, a simple note, or a kiss will keep a girl happy for days. 6. If you love her, tell her. Tell her often. 7. Be open and share with her. 8. Laugh with her.
  • 24. Defend 1. Don’t punch every single man who stares at her. 2. However, if someone is making advances, it is totally acceptable to intervene. 3. Politely remove her from the conversation or speak for her. 4. Physical contact is reassuring and also marks your territory.
  • 25. FIGHTING The ins and outs of fighting because you are a man, and you’re going to get the urges to kill. This is how to do it in a classy way.
  • 26. Prioritize 1. Don’t back down from a challenge; stand up for yourself. 2. Do not sacrifice your values for someone who is just looking for a fight with anybody.
  • 27. Be reasonable 1. Never use weapons. You could get hurt. 2. Never fight in or against groups. 3. Do not try to be Chuck Norris. 4. If your opponent is down, you’ve made your point, and it’s time to stop. 5. Offer to help him up, but expect a bad reaction. He may not share your values.
  • 28. FINAL RECAP • Be sincere • Do not obsess over your looks. Gentlemen look good, but they are polite and unselfish. • Looking good doesn’t mean throwing away t-shirts and jeans. It just means they can’t be wrinkled, and they need to look good. Also, belts can do wonders. • Be aware of your surroundings and your actions. Assume people are always watching. • When talking, give your date/friend your undivided attention. • Never ever honk your car horn when picking a girl up. Always walk to the door and knock/ring the bell. • Always lead by example and be considerate. • Smiling and making eye contact creates an emotional bond with others. • Being a gentlemen is as much about attitude as it is about appearance. • Loving a girl always means giving. Always give (love, time, words of affirmation). Just don’t give so much that you resent her.
  • 29. Warnings • Drinking in excessive impairs your judgment. • Gentlemen have dignity and honor, yet they are humble and thoughtful. You are not better than anyone else. Don’t think it, don’t act it. • A gentleman knows when he loses a fight. Know the different between standing up for yourself and being a moron. • Be helpful, not overbearing.
  • 30. A FINAL WORD Any girl that doesn’t accept or understand your generous and kind treatment is not worthy of your time. Don’t waste it.