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Influence Skills
The Power of Influence



                Andrew L. Urich, J.D.
            Puterbaugh Professor of
               Ethics & Legal Studies
           Oklahoma State University
                 aurich@okstate.edu
               www.andrewurich.com
                        405.744.8619
Can I Influence You?




    McDonald’s Coffee Case
       Is $3 Million Reasonable?




                              www.andrewurich.com
Idea #1
The Facts Don’t Matter………
                If No One Believes You

 The   FACTS don’t matter!
            –   Politics
            –   Marketing vs. Finance

 Literally     a matter of life and death.

 Ability   to influence is a key to success.



                                         www.andrewurich.com
Slide provided by www.aaronbeam.net
Slide provided by www.aaronbeam.net
Idea #2
People Are Annoying

   I am a hypocrite.

   I play favorites.

   I interpret rules in a way that benefits me.

   I have been known to ignore rules that get in my
    way.

   I like people better if they like me.

                                            www.andrewurich.com
Idea #2
People Are Annoying

   I like my ideas better just because they’re mine.

   I think it’s fun to say “no” when I have the power to do so.

   You cannot change how I see the world.

   It is important to me to look good in the eyes of others.

   I don’t even know 1/10th of 1% about anything, but I think I
    know everything.

                                            www.andrewurich.com
Idea #2
People Are Annoying

   I like to be “right.”

   I love to say “I told you so.”

   I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare
    situations when it looks like I might be.

   Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want
    the answer to be – and then make up the logical
    reasons to support my decision.
                                          www.andrewurich.com
Idea #3
Conflict Is Underrated

 Everyone  wants to participate in
  decisions that affect them.

 Dispersion of power causes conflict and
  growing pains.

 Conflict
         identifies opportunities for
  improvement.
                                      www.andrewurich.com
Idea #4
Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN

   Use competence and commitment instead of
    position and status.

   Team building and leadership are not based on
    authority.

   We are influencing all of the time – positively or
    negatively.
                  The sign in PS 101
                  My daughter wants to go to Vegas
                  Authority at Tinker Air Force Base   www.andrewurich.com
Idea #5
When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?”

 It’s
     not what you say….it’s how you make
  them feel.

          My neighbor’s pictures
          Baby pictures
          The IT people




                                    www.andrewurich.com
The Advantage of Ethical Influence




“A lie can travel halfway around
the world while the truth is putting
on its shoes.”       -- Mark Twain




                                  www.andrewurich.com
Keys to Influence &
   Informal Negotiation

Strategy for Success: Plan in advance!

 A little preparation saves the day.

 It’s not always what you do say – it’s
 often what you don’t say.




                                        www.andrewurich.com
Keys to Influence
Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning

1.   Overcome communication blockers.
     (First, get them to listen)

2.   Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).

3.   Become a persuasive messenger.
     (Be likeable and look the part)

4.   Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.
     (Make them feel good about you)

5.   Get control of information and misinformation.
     (It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)

                                                   www.andrewurich.com
COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS

If They Aren’t Listening…
    It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.
Communication Blockers
Multiple Choice Question



 a)   U.S.D.A.
 b)   A.A.A.E.
 c)   OSU Ag College
 d)   K Fed




                           www.andrewurich.com
Communication Blockers
Multiple Choice Question



 a)   U.S.D.A.
 b)   A.A.A.E.
 c)   OSU Ag College
 d)   K Fed




                           www.andrewurich.com
Limit the Impact of Your Point of View

 Areyou impacted by experience?
 (Driving Rule of Relativity)

 Are you assuming everyone should think
 like you?

 Could   you be wrong?

                               www.andrewurich.com
Overcome the Bias of Others


 What   stereotypes might they have about
 you?

 How   can you outflank their bias?

 People can only hear and incorporate
 things they understand.
                                   www.andrewurich.com
Learn to Open Closed Minds

 Things are exactly as people choose to
  see them.

 Is   it important enough to care?

 Value   diversity.


                                      www.andrewurich.com
Win/Win Opportunities

Managing the Impact of Self Interest.
Factor in the Interests
of Both Sides

   How will the other person profit from your
    relationship?

   Can you make the other person’s job easier?

   Can you help the other person appear better in
    the eyes of his/her superiors?




                                        www.andrewurich.com
Win/Win
 Make the Pie Bigger
 Instead of Arguing About How to Slice It
 Win/Win is an attitude.


   –   62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy.

   –   Pay close attention to their concerns.


   –   Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to
       identify new options.




                                                     www.andrewurich.com
Become a Persuasive Manager

  Be Likeable and Look the Part!
Learn to Become            EVEN More Likeable
We prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.


     We like, trust, and believe people who like us.




                                          www.andrewurich.com
Learn to Become More Likeable
It’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance.


Well-Dressed People are Perceived As:
   – More productive
   – Responsible
   – Personally acceptable
   – More intelligent

   – More honest

   – Hardworking

   – Taking their job seriously     www.andrewurich.com
Learn to Become More Likeable

   Consistently search for similarities between
    yourself and those with which you deal.

   Develop the habit of giving sincere
    compliments.

   Familiarity and contact enhance liking.

                                    www.andrewurich.com
Learn to Become More Likeable

 Listening   and taking an interest in the other
  person

 Friendliness


 Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in,
  eye contact

 People   like optimistic and enthusiastic people.
                                     www.andrewurich.com
Avoid Conflict and Confrontations

  Make Them Feel Good About You.
You Will Never
 Prove Them Wrong

 Have   you ever done it before?

 Would you rather be right, or would you
 rather be happy?

 How would you feel if someone proved
 you wrong?
                                    www.andrewurich.com
Avoid Confrontations

 What  they say – has a lot to do with what
  you already said.

 Theirlife experience is different than
  yours.

 Focus on the issue – don’t make it
  personal.

 Be   very considerate.           www.andrewurich.com
Keys to Influence
Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning

1.   Overcome communication blockers.
     (First, get them to listen)

2.   Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest).

3.   Become a persuasive messenger.
     (Be likeable and look the part)

4.   Don’t create conflicts and confrontations.
     (Make them feel good about you)

5.   Get control of information and misinformation.
     (It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important)

                                                   www.andrewurich.com
Summary of Influence and
  Persuasion
  The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
1. The most important thing – do they like you?

2. The other most important thing – break through
    communication blockers.

3. Authority is out – influence is in.

4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you
    to great success.

5. Look for Win/win opportunities.       www.andrewurich.com
Summary of Influence and
 Persuasion
 The Ten Most Important Things to Remember
6. You have a point of view.

7. Do not underestimate self-interest.

8. You will never prove them wrong.

9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them
   feel.

10. Good relationships provide power,
     security and success!               www.andrewurich.com
Thank You
   Please keep in touch.
    aurich@okstate.edu
   www.andrewurich.com




 I Like You!
                           www.andrewurich.com
References

   Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988.
   Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
   Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980
   Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster,
    1989.
   Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997.
   Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981.
   Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993.
   Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984.
   Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.
   Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992.
   Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993.
   Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994.
   Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995.
   Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993.
   Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs,
    N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989.


                                                                  www.andrewurich.com

More Related Content

Chesapeake Influence

  • 1. Influence Skills The Power of Influence Andrew L. Urich, J.D. Puterbaugh Professor of Ethics & Legal Studies Oklahoma State University aurich@okstate.edu www.andrewurich.com 405.744.8619
  • 2. Can I Influence You? McDonald’s Coffee Case Is $3 Million Reasonable? www.andrewurich.com
  • 3. Idea #1 The Facts Don’t Matter……… If No One Believes You  The FACTS don’t matter! – Politics – Marketing vs. Finance  Literally a matter of life and death.  Ability to influence is a key to success. www.andrewurich.com
  • 4. Slide provided by www.aaronbeam.net
  • 5. Slide provided by www.aaronbeam.net
  • 6. Idea #2 People Are Annoying  I am a hypocrite.  I play favorites.  I interpret rules in a way that benefits me.  I have been known to ignore rules that get in my way.  I like people better if they like me. www.andrewurich.com
  • 7. Idea #2 People Are Annoying  I like my ideas better just because they’re mine.  I think it’s fun to say “no” when I have the power to do so.  You cannot change how I see the world.  It is important to me to look good in the eyes of others.  I don’t even know 1/10th of 1% about anything, but I think I know everything. www.andrewurich.com
  • 8. Idea #2 People Are Annoying  I like to be “right.”  I love to say “I told you so.”  I hate to admit I’m wrong even in those rare situations when it looks like I might be.  Here’s how I make decisions: I decide what I want the answer to be – and then make up the logical reasons to support my decision. www.andrewurich.com
  • 9. Idea #3 Conflict Is Underrated  Everyone wants to participate in decisions that affect them.  Dispersion of power causes conflict and growing pains.  Conflict identifies opportunities for improvement. www.andrewurich.com
  • 10. Idea #4 Authority Is OUT – Influence Is IN  Use competence and commitment instead of position and status.  Team building and leadership are not based on authority.  We are influencing all of the time – positively or negatively.  The sign in PS 101  My daughter wants to go to Vegas  Authority at Tinker Air Force Base www.andrewurich.com
  • 11. Idea #5 When is “Sucking Up” actually “Sucking Up?”  It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel.  My neighbor’s pictures  Baby pictures  The IT people www.andrewurich.com
  • 12. The Advantage of Ethical Influence “A lie can travel halfway around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.” -- Mark Twain www.andrewurich.com
  • 13. Keys to Influence & Informal Negotiation Strategy for Success: Plan in advance!  A little preparation saves the day.  It’s not always what you do say – it’s often what you don’t say. www.andrewurich.com
  • 14. Keys to Influence Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning 1. Overcome communication blockers. (First, get them to listen) 2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest). 3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part) 4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations. (Make them feel good about you) 5. Get control of information and misinformation. (It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important) www.andrewurich.com
  • 15. COMMUNICATION BLOCKERS If They Aren’t Listening… It Doesn’t Matter What You Say.
  • 16. Communication Blockers Multiple Choice Question a) U.S.D.A. b) A.A.A.E. c) OSU Ag College d) K Fed www.andrewurich.com
  • 17. Communication Blockers Multiple Choice Question a) U.S.D.A. b) A.A.A.E. c) OSU Ag College d) K Fed www.andrewurich.com
  • 18. Limit the Impact of Your Point of View  Areyou impacted by experience? (Driving Rule of Relativity)  Are you assuming everyone should think like you?  Could you be wrong? www.andrewurich.com
  • 19. Overcome the Bias of Others  What stereotypes might they have about you?  How can you outflank their bias?  People can only hear and incorporate things they understand. www.andrewurich.com
  • 20. Learn to Open Closed Minds  Things are exactly as people choose to see them.  Is it important enough to care?  Value diversity. www.andrewurich.com
  • 21. Win/Win Opportunities Managing the Impact of Self Interest.
  • 22. Factor in the Interests of Both Sides  How will the other person profit from your relationship?  Can you make the other person’s job easier?  Can you help the other person appear better in the eyes of his/her superiors? www.andrewurich.com
  • 23. Win/Win Make the Pie Bigger Instead of Arguing About How to Slice It  Win/Win is an attitude. – 62% believe in the fixed pie fallacy. – Pay close attention to their concerns. – Use creativity, diligence and enthusiasm to identify new options. www.andrewurich.com
  • 24. Become a Persuasive Manager Be Likeable and Look the Part!
  • 25. Learn to Become EVEN More Likeable We prefer to comply with the requests of people we like.  We like, trust, and believe people who like us. www.andrewurich.com
  • 26. Learn to Become More Likeable It’s not fair– but people judge you by your appearance. Well-Dressed People are Perceived As: – More productive – Responsible – Personally acceptable – More intelligent – More honest – Hardworking – Taking their job seriously www.andrewurich.com
  • 27. Learn to Become More Likeable  Consistently search for similarities between yourself and those with which you deal.  Develop the habit of giving sincere compliments.  Familiarity and contact enhance liking. www.andrewurich.com
  • 28. Learn to Become More Likeable  Listening and taking an interest in the other person  Friendliness  Body language – smiling, nodding, leaning in, eye contact  People like optimistic and enthusiastic people. www.andrewurich.com
  • 29. Avoid Conflict and Confrontations Make Them Feel Good About You.
  • 30. You Will Never Prove Them Wrong  Have you ever done it before?  Would you rather be right, or would you rather be happy?  How would you feel if someone proved you wrong? www.andrewurich.com
  • 31. Avoid Confrontations  What they say – has a lot to do with what you already said.  Theirlife experience is different than yours.  Focus on the issue – don’t make it personal.  Be very considerate. www.andrewurich.com
  • 32. Keys to Influence Strategy for Success: Five Factors for Planning 1. Overcome communication blockers. (First, get them to listen) 2. Look for win/win opportunities (manage self-interest). 3. Become a persuasive messenger. (Be likeable and look the part) 4. Don’t create conflicts and confrontations. (Make them feel good about you) 5. Get control of information and misinformation. (It’s not all about the facts…but facts are important) www.andrewurich.com
  • 33. Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember 1. The most important thing – do they like you? 2. The other most important thing – break through communication blockers. 3. Authority is out – influence is in. 4. Planning influence opportunities in advance can lead you to great success. 5. Look for Win/win opportunities. www.andrewurich.com
  • 34. Summary of Influence and Persuasion The Ten Most Important Things to Remember 6. You have a point of view. 7. Do not underestimate self-interest. 8. You will never prove them wrong. 9. It’s not what you say….it’s how you make them feel. 10. Good relationships provide power, security and success! www.andrewurich.com
  • 35. Thank You Please keep in touch. aurich@okstate.edu www.andrewurich.com I Like You! www.andrewurich.com
  • 36. References  Ailes, Roger. You Are the Message. New York. Doubleday, 1988.  Cialdini, Robert B. Influence: Science and Practice. 3rd Ed. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.  Cohen, Herb. You Can Negotiate Anything. Secaucus, N.J.: Lyle Stuart, 1980  Covey, Stephen R. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. New York: Simon & Schuster, 1989.  Dayton, Doug. Selling Microsoft. Holbrook, MA., Adams Media Corporation, 1997.  Fisher, Roger and William Ury. Getting to Yes. New York: Viking Penguin, Inc., 1981.  Forsyth, Patrick. The Negotiator's Pocketbook. London: Alresford Press Ltd., 1993.  Johnson, Spencer. The One Minute Sales Person. William Morrow, N.Y, 1984.  Karrass, Chester L. Give and Take. New York: Harper Collins, 1993.  Karrass, Chester L. The Negotiating Game. New York: Harper Collins, 1992.  Kozicki, Stephen. The Creative Negotiator. Pyrmont, Australia: Gower, 1993.  Lewicki, Roy J., et.al. Negotiation. 2nd Edition. Burr Ridge, Il.: Irwin, 1994.  Nierenberg, Gerald 1. The Art of Negotiating. New York: Barnes & Noble, 1995.  Paul, Richard. Critical Thinking. Santa Rosa, CA: Foundation for Critical Thinking, 1993.  Schoonmaker, Alan N. Negotiate to Win: Gaining the Psychological Edge. Englewood Cliffs, N.J.: Prentice Hall, 1989. www.andrewurich.com

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