Yeezy bought me

The artist formerly known as Kanye West has tied a ribbon round his recent package of white supremacist slogans, George Floyd family agitation and anti-Semitic tropes with an agreement to purchase right-wing social media platform Parler. 

“This deal will change the world, and change the way the world thinks about free speech,” said George Farmer, CEO of Parler parent company Parlement Technologies and former chairman of Turning Point UK. “Ye is making a groundbreaking move into the free speech media space and will never have to fear being removed from social media again.”

George, the son of Tory Party donor Michael Farmer, is married to none other than Candace Owens, the very person West’s been knocking about with in “White Lives Matter” T-shirts at Paris Fashion Week. With this information, a picture quickly starts to form of a sort of dangleberry to an infographic once used to explain the late Cambridge Analytica.

It checks out. Robert Mercer, Cambridge Analytica’s main investor, begat Parler’s main investor, Rebekah Mercer.

As ever, the conspiracy reality turns out to be far juicier than the conspiracy theories West seems so interested in – but how do you shake him out of it? It’s the Jordan Peterson effect. No matter what gibberish these chin-stroking cult leaders come out with, any resulting criticism is put down to you just not getting it.

And so let us stretch our hands from the poisoned well of online discourse: and ask our Father for new audio of Ye’s mother: to distract him with the divine inspiration: to chop it into another serviceable album.