Today at work, my manager yelled at me in front of 3 other witnesses. This problem started when I told a fellow coworker if he was having problems and felt mistreated that he should go to HR. My manager found out about it and is saying I am an office gossip. Today, she said to me that I am not a good person. She does not like me, and o obviously hate her. When I tried to speak up for myself this made her more mad and her tone got worse. I was visibly upset, and told to go do my job. I take presentations with clients. When I said I was unable to take a tour because of how I upset I was, she told me I was only upset because she called me out for who I am, and that I need to suck it up and put on my big girl pants and don’t cop out of my tour. This is someone I have a daily working relationship with. I have no idea how to handle it.
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3We need more context on this to give a helpful answer - as is, being yelled out sounds unprofessional - but in the same breath - being told to do your job and stop sulking cause you got told off is not necessarily a bad thing either.– TheDemonLordCommented Jun 8 at 3:22
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4The question is: What's different about your co-worker's problem(s) and yours? Seems you've a ready solution for your co-worker, but turn to strangers looking for a solution to yours. Physician, heal thyself...– Fe2O3Commented Jun 8 at 5:17
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1I have no idea how to handle it - Finding a new job would help.– VectorCommented Jun 8 at 18:06
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HR is NOT your friend– solarflareCommented Jun 11 at 5:59
2 Answers
Go to HR about your boss when you're ready to get a new job. HR works for management. They do protect the company, but recognize that the best protection for the company might be letting you go.
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Handling a situation like this at work can be challenging and emotionally taxing. Here are some of the things that should help you navigate this issue as well as possible.
Document everything: write down exactly what happened, including the date, time, location, what was said, and who was present. This will be crucial if you need to escalate the matter.
Seek a private conversation: request a private meeting with your manager to discuss the incident. Approach the conversation calmly and professionally, expressing your feelings and seeking to understand their perspective. Use "I" statements to describe how you feel without sounding accusatory, e.g., "I felt hurt when you said...". Let your manager know that while you respect her position, being yelled at in front of others affects your ability to perform your job.
HR Involvement: if a private conversation doesn't resolve the issue, or if you feel uncomfortable having this conversation, it might be necessary to involve HR. Explain the situation factually and provide your documentation. You want to seem as professional as possible and like you've done your homework.
Talk to someone else: talk to a trusted colleague, mentor, or counsellor about the situation. They can provide emotional support and may give you helpful advice.
Focus on professionalism: this is so important! Continue to perform your job to the best of your ability. Demonstrating professionalism can help you maintain your reputation and provide a stark contrast to your manager's behaviour.
If the toxic environment continues, you might want to evaluate your long-term career plans. Sometimes, finding a healthier work environment is the best option for your well-being and future prospects.
Good luck
