Old foe is now my boss [closed]

Question

Questions

1-Is there any way of arguing that gets me out of this new boss that sounds reasonable and professional?

2-How can I keep upper management informed about my dissatisfaction, even if I manage to have a good relationship with my new boss (who I still fear will backstab me quite a lot).

3-Any tips for when your boss personally dislikes you?

Context

A while ago I had a long-lasting problematic project with two work colleagues that requested our boss to basically kick me out of a project.

This was partially due to work styles but mostly due to personal differences.

Their request back then was granted and I was literally told the decision was so that with me being apart from them there should be no more problems.

And so be it, I thought. By simply not caring about anything they would do (or fail to do) with a proverbial "not my responsibility" attitude, and tending to the activities that I was entrusted with. Since then I've treated these colleagues professionally and with some courtesy here and there.

More recently, one of these former colleagues left the company, which prompted the remaining one to ask more frequently for my support on his activities. I've been trying to professionally help him, but make clear as needed that I have responsibilities of my own that I should generally prioritize.

Now, due to a restructuring of the department, this former colleague who has barely had any oversight over my work in two years has been promoted and became my direct manager.

This was announced publicly without any previous warning to me. I immediately called my former manager asking why this happened, as he himself is neither stepping down nor leaving the company. During a quick conversation, he basically said that he talked with my former colleague which said he would not have any issues working with me.

I basically think that he lied, as claiming to hold a grudge could jeopardize his promotion. Maybe he will be kept on a short leash by upper management for a while, but I'm afraid that over the medium and long term, he'll put his efforts to prepare me for failure, jeopardize any raises or promotions I could get, and keep me under his responsibility until I quit the company.

By the way, last year I was made aware of him bringing criticism and complaints about my work to my boss (even though he had no interface nor any responsibility with the project I was developing, and didn't even talk to me beforehand).

Most of all, I've felt somewhat offended that my past manager, (the same that accepted the request in the past) didn't even bother to check with me neither before making a decision, nor before making the public announcement. I understand that nobody gets happy for being passed for promotion, but that is not my complaint.

I'm considering to state that while I'll work my best under new management, I'm deeply uncomfortable in this position, so that this situation should not be sustained over the medium term. The wording that comes to mind goes around the lines "I think I'll be stuck at this step in my career for as long as I'm under Joe's management, and I am already personally unhappy about working under him. Maybe looking for new challenges would be the only way forward from now on".

Answer 1

Preemptive complaining won't get you anywhere. You expect professional conduct from your new manager, so you should do the same. Keep it strictly professional, try to forget the past and listen, if your new boss has constructive criticism for you. Don't just block it with: "yeah, he just doesn't like me".

For the time being, grant the new manager a fresh start and try to start a good working relationship. Maybe you will be positively surprised, and everything works out fine. transferring from team member to manager changes people, for good or for bad.

Regardless, you can of course look for a way out here. Either by internal transfer to different teams, or by looking for a job elsewhere. I did the same in the past. Had a manager I never really "clicked" with, transferred to another team, now everything is fine.

Answer 2

There are a lot of assumptions about your future relationship with your new manager in your question. Sometimes it is helpful to realize, that a past relationship does not define what will happen in the future.

It seems that you are content with the situation for now but you have some doubts and fears about the future. Therefore it is best to do your job to the best of your ability, set some clear goals for the future and observe the situation with your manager. This will allow you to gauge the situation and make a decision objectively, when you have proved or disproved the assumptions you are making right now.

Answers to your questions: 1-Is there any way of arguing that gets me out of this new boss that sounds reasonable and professional? - No, there is no way you can benefit from conflict, either with your direct manager, or with the upper management. The best way to move forward would be to look for a transfer or for new opportunities.

2-How can I keep upper management informed about my dissatisfaction, even if I manage to have a good relationship with my new boss (who I still fear will backstab me quite a lot). - you don't. Keep your relationship as professional as you can and see what happens. Then make a decision based upon that.

3-Any tips for when your boss personally dislikes you? - it does not matter whether your boss dislikes you or not. It might help psychologically, but you must think in terms of your goals. If you cannot achieve them with this manager, try to look for other ways to move forward.

Answer 3

I can see why this might have you worried - it's never nice to think about someone you've had a prior bad experience with being your boss. However as things stand it is your response and attitude to the new situation that seems the more likely source of future problems.

I basically think that he lied, as claiming to hold a grudge could jeopardize his promotion. Maybe he will be kept on a short leash by upper management for a while, but I'm afraid that over the medium and long term, he'll put his efforts to prepare me for failure, jeopardize any raises or promotions I could get, and keep me under his responsibility until I quit the company.

Here you're assuming that he must have malicious intentions towards you. You're assuming he lied, you're assuming the only possible way he won't be out to wreck your career at the company is if he's on a "short leash". You don't know that, and you don't know that he lied - I've certainly had colleagues I couldn't stand working along side that I've had no problem managing and the reverse, the dynamics are very different.

While I completely agree you should be wary (and on the look out) for any such shenanigans assuming they're inevitable is going to taint your every interaction with him - and that sort of thing does get noticed, and the one who is going to come out of that looking bad is you.

Most of all, I've felt somewhat offended that my past manager, (the same that accepted the request in the past) didn't even bother to check with me neither before making a decision, nor before making the public announcement.

Remember that you weren't the one who reported having a problem with Joe, Joe was the one who reported an issue working with you.

From your manager's perspective you've reported no issue, and behaved professionally since without giving any sign that you had an issue with Joe. So why would they check with you?

They don't need your permission to promote Joe and they don't need it to have Joe be your manager. Honestly, from the information you've provided here if I had been in your manager's shoes I doubt it would have even entered into my head to consult you either, if there had been on-going signs of friction on your part I might have given you a heads-up but I certainly wouldn't have been asking your permission.

I'm considering to state that while I'll work my best under new management, I'm deeply uncomfortable in this position, so that this situation should not be sustained over the medium term. The wording that comes to mind goes around the lines "I think I'll be stuck at this step in my career for as long as I'm under Joe's management, and I am already personally unhappy about working under him. Maybe looking for new challenges would be the only way forward from now on".

There's no point in stating you'll work your best and then state lots of things that contradict that. I'm not saying you should be comfortable or happy working under Joe, there's certainly nothing wrong with saying you can't work with or for someone - but if you aren't going to be, if you aren't going to even try then just say it straight and take appropriate steps, whether there's an internal transfer you can make or whether it's time to pull the rip cord. If it's realistically leaving the company then my advice would be to keep your powder dry, keep up that professional and courteous demeanor while enthusiastically polishing the resume and applying to other roles in your off hours.