From https://askubuntu.com/a/771187/158442:
I think what you want is xfce4-session-logout (online manpage).
Excerpt from the manpage (reformatted, filtered):
The xfce4-session-logout command allows you to programmatically logout
from your Xfce session. It requests the session manager to display the
logout confirmation screen, or, if given one of the command-line
options below, causes the session manager to take the requested action
immediately.
OPTIONS:
--logout Log out without displaying the logout dialog.
--halt Halt without displaing the logout dialog.
--reboot Reboot without displaying the logout dialog.
--suspend Suspend without displaying the logout dialog.
--hibernate Hibernate without displaying the logout dialog.
--fast Do a fast shutdown. This instructs the session manager not to
save the session, but instead to quit everything quickly.
To get the dialogue where one can pick an action manually, run it without arguments:
xfce4-session-logout