I'm starting to think that it is indeed Bad Boys: JEDI Style.
A long time ago, in
a galaxy far, far away...
It is a time of peace in the
galaxy. In fact, things are so
peaceful that the Jedi have little to
do these days, aside from handling
occasional Senate matters and training
new younglings in the ways of the Force.
This newfound peace is largely due to the tremendous popularity of the reality holo-broadcast,
JEDI, which over the past decade has elevated the
Jedi to a nearly god-like status. Criminals quake in fear
of the legendary warriors, while parents flock to the Jedi
Temple, begging that their children be taken as younglings.
The Jedi themselves find the logistics of the reality show rather
annoying, but they tolerate the cameras for the sake of good public relations. However, during this heinously boring time of peace, the
producers of JEDI have resorted to staging much of the action in order
to give their avid viewers the entertaining drama they have grown to love...
By chapter 71, Anakin is secretly married to Padme. Qui-Gon had his own marriage in the past (and both Obi-Wan and Anakin are his sons, although they do not get to learn that until they become Jedi masters). Later on, Obi-Wan marries Leila (OC with whom he sired a child unawares when he was a young padawan), and it's revealed in Chapter 71 that Mace Windu is married (so far, no evidence that Yoda is married). It's not quite as rapid-fire as I remember, but it is definitely comedic.
Yoda nodded, satisfied. "In Hutt Territory, Mace is stranded," he said quietly, as Obi-Wan blinked at him in surprise. Hutt Territory? What is he doing there? "Obi-Wan... Married, like your father, Mace is," Yoda told him quietly. "His wife, he has been visiting."
Obi-Wan gaped at Yoda in shock. "Master Windu is married?" He blinked stupidly. Force, is there anyone in the Order who ISN'T married? Obi-Wan wondered suddenly; then he bowed his head in apology. "Forgive me, Master," he said. "I was surprised, that's all," he assured Yoda. "So his wife lives in Hutt Territory?"
"Yes," Yoda nodded, sighing. "On the far side of Hutt Territory, Mace's home planet lies," he confided, as Obi-Wan nodded; it was not spoken of openly, but no one could help but wonder where the galaxy's twelve black humans had come from. "An isolated planet it is, cut off from the Republic for centuries."
Then, in Chapter 77, all the revelations happen:
Cory listened in amazement as Master Windu explained about the legend of the Sith, the Force field created by Yoda's father, the doppelgangers, the Star Wars phenomenon, his own origins on this planet, and finally, the true reason for his recent visit. Master Windu is married? So that's why Master Obi-Wan didn't get in trouble! And he has kids too? Cory grinned, grateful to realize he wasn't the only secret and forbidden Jedi child.
....
"As most of you know," Obi-Wan sighed regretfully, staring into the fire.
"Actually, as all of you now know," he corrected himself, with a rueful grin. "I'm married as well; and Cory is my son," he said simply, with a tender smile at Cory.
....
Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon were giving Anakin subtle nods, so he nodded, blinking. "Yes, Master," he confessed. "I... I'm married as well," he told them, as Cory gaped at him in wide-eyed disbelief. "To Padmé Amidala," Anakin continued nervously. "We have two children; Leia and Luke... Luke Starkiller," he confessed, with an apologetic glance at Master Yoda and Windu. "We sent him to the Temple as an orphan; I'm planning to take him as my padawan, when he comes of age," Anakin finished quietly.
....
Qui-Gon smiled at Cory, sighing with gentle regret as he began. "I too was married once," he admitted, as the others nodded in quiet respect; Cory sensed that he was the only one who hadn't known about this. "She died, long ago," he continued. "But I have two sons, and three grandchildren," he added, with a tender smile at Obi-Wan, Anakin and Cory.
....
But now it was Master Yoda's turn, and they all looked at him respectfully. He's not married, Cory knew. He's from a whole other galaxy. And he's full of secrets, but I doubt he'll tell us any, Cory thought, staring into the fire.
"Married, I am not," Yoda told them. "But a life-mate, I have," he confessed, to the stunned disbelief of everyone except Master Windu. "Yaddi," Master Yoda murmured, smiling. "Master Yaddle," he explained. "Sent here as an ambassador by my people she was, thirteen years ago," he told them. "Sat on the Council for a year she did, before Master Qui-Gon took her place," he added.
"Far too young for me, Yaddi was," Yoda confessed. "Only four hundred years old... A shameless cradle robber, I am," he admitted, as the others laughed in amused disbelief. "But my own people, I often miss," he sighed. "And so beautiful and sweet, Yaddi was," he added wistfully, staring into the fire.
"Tried to resist it, I did," Yoda continued. "Easy it was at first," he admitted. "TPM at that time, I had," he reminded them. "But after I was cured... Looked at me differently, Yaddi did," he confessed. "Concentrate during Council meetings, we could not," he laughed ruefully. "Fell hopelessly in love, we did; and soon after, pregnant, Yaddi became," he told them.
"Into hiding on Dagobah, Yaddi went," Yoda told them. "There she has been living these past thirteen years, with our son, Kermit," he said, smiling tenderly. "Still a newborn by my people's standards, young Kermit is," he explained. "Thirty more years we have, before decide we must, whether to send him to the Temple for training, or home to our own galaxy."
And I think that's around where I stopped reading before, because things had gotten a bit too silly, with this mysterious planet being Earth, within some sort of weird time bubble where they have compiled copies of JEDI that they refer to as Star Wars movies...
