Other than Will Riker and Deanna Troi, have we seen on-screen any commanding officers on starships who are married?

Question

Starfleet has its own policies regarding fraternization between crew members, but I seem to recall reading that as long as the relationship was between people with the same rank, it would be fine. It also seems that there is some kind of stigma around Starfleet officers developing relationships with other crew members on board the ship. There have been captains with families living on planets, but not on board the same starship. Have we ever seen a case where a captain or commander is married to another officer and/or has a family on board?

Answer 1

On Star Trek: Discovery, Chief Medical Officer Hugh Culber is married to Chief Engineer Paul Stamets. Both positions command sections of the ship, and the CMO is responsible for assessing the fitness of command personnel for duty.

Answer 2

When it comes to family members of any kind, on Lower Decks, Beckett Mariner is an Ensign on the USS Cerritos, the ship captained by her mother, Captain Carol Freeman.

The show explores the issues that this can cause and in the third season Freeman delegates her responsibility over Mariner to the XO Commander Ransom.

Going higher than Captain, Lower Decks also features Admiral Alonzo Freeman, Captain Freeman’s husband (and Mariner’s father). On at least one occasion (S2E10 “First First Contact”) he gives a mission briefing to Captain Freeman, so while they aren’t serving on the same ship they are (at least sometimes) within the same chain of command.

Answer 3

We do have the case of Beverly Crusher who was married to Jack R. Crusher. Although the latter was killed before Star Trek: The Next Generation began (one event of the first episode "Encounter at Farpoint" was Picard returning Jack's body to Beverly), he made two more appearances, once as a hologram, and once in a vision experienced by Wesley.

Beverly Crusher has family on board, namely her son Wesley.

An alternate timeline in the ST:TNG episode "All Good Things" showed that Crusher and Jean-Luc Picard had gotten married and later divorced. In Star Trek:Picard, Crusher and Picard had a son out of wedlock.

Answer 4

Captain Robert April and Dr. Sarah April original captain and chief medical officer of the original Enterprise in the classic Star Trek universe.

Balance of Terror almost had a successful wedding.

Answer 5

Marriage is a tradition that could mean different things to different cultures. Some species "took mates". Others simply shared living spaces in an apparent common law type of arrangement. Others made the process legal according to whatever law the Federation or their government required. At the end of the day, these were just labels for committed relationships. So, yes, we did see those types of bonds between commanders and crewman. The most famous of these being Benjamin Sisko and his family aboard DS9.

But one of the elements baked into this franchise is the idea that devotion to Starfleet is kind of an all consuming thing when you command a Starship. Kirk overcomes a biochemical addiction to Elaan of Troyius because "the Enterprise infected" him long before she did. Picard breaks off his relationship with Nella Daren because he realizes his objectivity is compromised when he needs to send her into a dangerous situation. Janeway and Chakotay's will they/won't they/they probably won't they relationship that's only ever feasible outside of the confines of command. Even in Sisko's case, he ends up having to leave his family for what he perceives as a higher calling. Starfleet always ends up taking priority when you're in a command position, despite your best efforts to make it work. Or, you resign. Because it's easier to raise a family when you aren't being besieged by giant green space hands.

And, really, it doesn't need to be this way. It's just written that way.

Which is why I find it refreshing that they've steered clear of this trope with Burnham and Book. (And, really, all of nuTrek, such as with Troi and Riker still being together despite decades of adversity.) They still feel the depth of emotion when one or the other ends up in jeopardy or is believed dead. But this does not compromise their ability to do their job or assigned tasks. (Come to think of it, in a recent episode of nuTrek that will I not spoil here, this kind of bond even saves the day.) I actually prefer this kind of depiction. And their bond isn't any less a bond because they haven't made it a legal declaration.

Answer 6

Some near-misses that help to elucidate the broader topic:

There were a few times when a captain lived another life as a different persona, and married: Kirk as Kirrok in “TOS: The Paradise Syndrome” (whose wife Miramanee died before he returned to his starship) and Picard as Kamin in “TNG: The Inner Light” (whose family was fictional). We do not know how Starfleet would have handled that situation, had Miramanee survived along with Kirk, but since she was human, other episodes tell us the Prime Directive would not technically have applied.

When he was in his right mind and not acting under duress, James Kirk is serially monogamous, has been too professional to enter a relationship with his subordinates, and into blonde, human, female scientists. (This must have been due to the influence of his father, George Samuel Kirk, because in the Kelvin timeline where his father died when he was born, Jim Kirk grew up to be much more like his reputation, sleeping with a green-skinned alien and sexually harassing Christine Chapel.) In his first appearance (“Where No Man Has Gone Before”) he reveals that he nearly married a blonde lab technician he was dating while in Starfleet Academy. He has, in canon, at least three exes meeting that description: Ruth (whom someone impersonates in “Shore Leave”), Dr. Janet Wallace (“The Deadly Years”) and Dr. Carol Marcus (“The Wrath of Khan”). All three say they left him because he and she were both too dedicated to their careers, and do not accuse him of cheating, but he seems to have kept looking for a replacement at that stage in his life. At least one later ex of his, Dr. Janet Lester (a brunette), was serving in Starfleet at the same time as him.

In “Lessons,” Picard tells of his experience as Kamin to one of his subordinates on the ship, Lt. Cmdr. Nella Daren, and they have a romantic relationship, which is not forbidden. However, they break up amicably by the end of the episode. We later find out in season 3 of Picard that, a quarter-century earlier, Beverly Crusher became pregnant with Picard’s son while they were serving together, but left Starfleet and went no-contact with him.

Answer 7

To add to the other examples, in Next Generation “Pen Pals” (s02e15), Wesley assigns a married couple to an away team, leading to an interesting exchange where a fellow officer mentions that he prefers to not have married couples on the same team.

WESLEY: I have Prixus and Alans and Hildebrandt.

DAVIES: It's a shame you didn't talk to me first. It's just personal opinion, but I like to break up married teams.