Starting a D&D game with no experience as a DM or a player [duplicate]

Question

So I'd like to start a D&D 5E game with my friends via discord and Roll20.

The problem however is that altough I have watched a lot of D&D, I nor my players (except 1) actually have ever played it. I've tried to do a lot of research, and am currently laying the land for a short one shot and/or small campaign. However I suspect that starting as a DM who hasn't even played the game before, I'm most likely going to screw this up, probably even killing the motivation for the players to come back.

I don't want this to happen. It took me a very long time to even realize my friends were interested, and it's not in my native tongue. Honestly, I'm even scared to start.

Currently, I feel like I'm drowning in rules, and don't know how to make sure I'm prepared and my players are prepared.

That's why I decided to come here and ask people here if they know of tips and tricks, tutorials, important rules, essential material or anything that could help me make this as enjoyable as possible for my players. I'd really like this to be the start of something great, and not be the end of my interest in the game :/

So yeah, if someone can help me, I'd be eternally grateful.

Much luv, a New DM

Answer 1

I won't post a link to an external source, but I will tell you that I was just in this position 2 months ago. Having played only a handful of games and having no experience DMing, I was intimidated to start DMing on Roll20 with a group of 5 players (in my case they were strangers to me).

The single best piece of advice I can give you is to not bog yourself down in rules. Use as many rules as you can remember and look up within a reasonable time frame. Anything that you are having trouble finding or remembering, just make up something that sounds good on the spot. What worked for me and my crew was to establish an understanding that when such mistakes were made, we would understand that, in the future, we would follow the official method for dealing with a situation.

A perfect example is a scenario that just occurred last week. A player suddenly attacked non-hostile kobolds, because they were negotiating the return of an evil white dragon wyrmling to their lair (running The Sunless Citadel). I ruled that this was a surprise attack, and gave him a round in which to perform his turn before initiative was rolled. Technically, in 5e, surprise is more of a status condition. Initiative is always rolled at the start of combat and creatures who are surprised simply cannot take any action until their first turn has passed. The distinction is that a surprised creature can only take reactions after their turn has passed - something very important to note if the characters doing the surprising are trying to maneuver during that surprise round.

All this to say: Don't let the rules ruin your game. You will learn them with time, and the only way you will learn them is by playing. The only way you will play is if you allow yourself to make mistakes. So have fun! D&D is about having fun, not rote memorization or mathematics.

As an addendum, consider purchasing a pre-written adventure from Wizards or finding one online. These will free you up to focus on learning the mechanical aspects of the game. After a few sessions, you can try to write your own adventures. I have started modifying my adventures now that I am comfortable with DMing in 5e.

You already have a lot to do: Learning the rules of the game, learning Roll20 mechanics, and learning Discord. Try to give yourself a break on writing an entire adventure.

Answer 2

Yes, knowing the rules as best you can is helpful. But I think the main thing is to not take it too seriously. What you are doing is making up stories. As the DM, you create the setting for the story, and play some of the people in the story. The players play other people in the story. The object of the game is to be part of making up and telling a fun story.

The rules are just there to help frame the story and provide a mechanism for the flow of events, but you as the DM are free to disregard any rules that make the story end badly or not be any fun. So relax, and make some characters and write down a place where it happens and some "bad guys" to provide the conflict that is a part of nearly all forms of storytelling, and have some fun.

Role playing games do not have winners and losers in the traditional sense. The DM is not playing against the players. Some of the characters in the story, that the DM provides, will be opposed to the players, but the DM himself is more of an impartial referee between the players and their adversaries, and again, is there to make the contest interesting and enjoyable.