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A fair-haired small rodent with cherubic gaze
was cooking string pasta in Occidental ways.
A Monegasque prince was the person who pays,
metallic drugs brought each man to a haze.

An evil Italian lion strolled in,
followed at once by a virtuous duckling.
From Easterly forests the info came in,
a somber knoll holds some great treasures within.

A Latin American impasse ensued,
confronting each other in three-person feud.
A serious one-metre place by them all viewed,
everyone eyed the anonymous dude.

What's the story?

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1 Answer 1

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I think this is all about

the movie The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly.

A fair-haired small rodent with cherubic gaze

This seems to be all three of the principal characters: Blondie (nickname given to Eastwood's character) is The Good; Tuco, nicknamed The Rat, is The Bad; Angel Eyes is The Ugly.

was cooking string pasta in Occidental ways.

The movie is a spaghetti Western.

A Monegasque prince was the person who pays,
metallic drugs brought each man to a haze.

I confess I'm not sure what any of this is about. The actress Grace Kelly was a Monegasque princess but doesn't seem to have had anything to do with the movie. There are some people who pay other people but so far as I can tell none of them is a prince, or called "Prince", or anything to do with Monaco. I suspect I'm missing something. "Metallic drugs" seems like it ought to mean money, which can have powerful effects on the mind, especially given that TGTBATU and its two predecessors are collectively known as "the Dollars trilogy", but if there's any specific reference here I'm missing it. (I haven't seen any of these movies.) [EDITED to add:] SteveV informs us in comments that the surname of the movie's producer, Alberto Grimaldi, is the name of the House of Grimaldi, which among other things is the royal family of Monaco.

An evil Italian lion strolled in,

I think "evil" is a nod to "The Bad" in the title; Sergio Leone was the director.

followed at once by a virtuous duckling.

Again "virtuous" refers to "The Good" in the title; perhaps "duckling" is alluding, via the story of the Ugly Duckling, to the last element of the title?

From Easterly forests the info came in,

Clint Eastwood.

a somber knoll holds some great treasures within.

There's $200,000 buried in a grave in Sad Hill cemetery.

A Latin American impasse ensued,
confronting each other in three-person feud.

A three-way Mexican standoff occurs, as in many spaghetti Westerns.

A serious one-metre place by them all viewed,

The cemetery court_yard_ where the Mexican standoff takes place? [EDITED to add:] SteveV suggests in comments that this is referring to the grave, but surely that would be larger than one metre?

everyone eyed the anonymous dude.

At the end of the movie, The Man With No Name (Clint Eastwood's character in the trilogy of which this movie is the third, also known in this one as "Blondie") rides off into the sunset. I don't know whether everyone eyes him, but Tuco watches him go. Or perhaps this is still about the Mexican standoff. [EDITED to add:] SteveV suggests in comments that the anonymous dude might be the occupant of the grave (which is labelled "Unknown") ... but isn't the grave actually empty apart from the money?

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  • $\begingroup$ For the last clue rot13(gur zbarl jnf ohevrq va gur tenir jvgu ab anzr ba gur urnqfgbar) and the previous line may rot13(ersre gb gur tenir vgfrys) $\endgroup$
    – SteveV
    Commented Oct 11, 2018 at 2:43
  • $\begingroup$ A Monegasque prince was the person who pays refers to rot13(Nyoregb Tevznyqv, gur cebqhpre. Gur Ubhfr bs Tevznyqv vf gur cevapryl snzvyl bs Zbanpb) $\endgroup$
    – SteveV
    Commented Oct 11, 2018 at 2:47
  • $\begingroup$ You're clearly right about the Monegasque prince. Not convinced by the other suggestions, though... $\endgroup$
    – Gareth McCaughan
    Commented Oct 11, 2018 at 10:43
  • $\begingroup$ This is the intended answer. The metallic drug answer can be found on the rot13[fbhaqgenpx]. $\endgroup$
    – Jafe
    Commented Oct 11, 2018 at 15:23
  • $\begingroup$ Fair enough. As I mentioned, I haven't seen the movie, so I'm still in the dark on that one. $\endgroup$
    – Gareth McCaughan
    Commented Oct 11, 2018 at 17:57

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