Apparent paradox in general relativity wrt relative gravity, spacetime curvature and time dilation [closed]

Question

Imagine Alice is near a massive black hole and Bob is on the Earth.

Obviously their gravitational fields are different for each other. In other words, their spacetime is flat for themselves but curved for each other. Bob sees spacetime of Alice is curved. And Alice sees spacetime of Bob is curved. Thus time should run slower for each other.

However, in reality it is said that from Alice's point of view Bob's time is running faster, and from Bob's point of view Alice's time is running slower.

If this is true, how can we say that gravity is relative?

Update:

Based upon questions asked in comments. Here is update: Both Alice and Bob will agree that spacetime is more curved in Alice's vicinity. Thus Speed of one clock (because of it's gravity) can be measured regardless of gravity of the observer. Unlike velocity, which is dependent of velocity of observer, because velocity is relative.

Gravity is not relative to observer's gravity. Why do we say that gravity is relative?

Answer 1

The time dilation due to the curvature of spacetime is not symmetric between observers in the same way as their relative velocity is.

In Special Relativity, the time dilation factor $\gamma = (1-v^2/c^2)^{-1/2}$ involves the speed. It does not matter whether the velocity is $\pm v$, the time dilation factor is the same. Therefore both observers would claim that the other's clock is running slower.

That symmetry does not apply to the gravitational time dilation that arises from observers being at different positions with respect to a gravitational potential. All that matters here is the (signed) difference in potential and both observers agree that Bob is at a higher potential than Alice and therefore his clock runs relatively more quickly in comparison.