My 4 year old daughter is perfectly potty trained (with no accidents) since last June. She wears a diaper at night. lately she wants to wear a diaper all day because her best friend has regressed. She is also a 'deeply feeling'child and is extraordinarily attached to this notion of babyhood. I've tried explaining to her that wearing underwear doesn't mean she is not a baby anymore etc. but either way she is a sensitive one and everyone can see that. However, i've started/attempted to maintain boundaries - no diapers or pull ups during daytime and only at night. it is not working - she won't go out without them, she will cry hysterically. now when she is hysterical, she starts to scratch herself (no marks) or she tries stuff that shift my attention from the diaper issue at hand to her mental/physical health. THen i have to relent. Should we seek a counselor? because whatever this is - rage, anxiety, or manipulation - is a bit scary!? I fear that our confrontations are making her more attached to diapers and less trusting of us. I've lost my temper in the past weeks, then cooled down and have tried to let her have her 'moment' while staying in the room, tried talking nicely but firmly. i fear i've not been consistent but i also feel that her extreme reaction (self-harming?)is problematic? also she is still breastfed and is very attached to me, and i can see any rift between us causes her heartache. I am so confused! :(
P.s: she doesn't have random triggers for tantrums - but she has 3 or 4 things that she is fixated on. Other non-negotiables in the past have been winterwears and playdates (she doesn't like them), she likes to dress herself, she likes to stay in character for days at an end. these areas can lead to meltdowns. OTherwise, she eats well, she is healthy, she is funny, imaginative,and has a fantastic memory.
