Ted Cruz revealed his disturbing, yet poetic, feelings about queso

Please don't ruin guacamole next.
By Jessye McGarry  on 
Ted Cruz revealed his disturbing, yet poetic, feelings about queso
WASHINGTON, DC - SEPTEMBER 20: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-TX) speaks during a news conference about military assistance to Israel at the U.S. Capitol September 20, 2016 in Washington, DC. Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-SC) is threatening to stall approval of an agreement on military assistance between the U.S. and Israel by introducing legislation that would boost the aid above what the countries agreed on. (Photo by Chip Somodevilla/Getty Images) Credit: Getty Images

Before you read this, go eat some queso.

Seriously, listen to me. Don't read further. Go happily enjoy some queso, then return.

Now that you're back, it's time for you to watch this clip of Ted Cruz describing what makes Texas queso so magnificent.

The clip, tweeted by Jordan Rudner, a Washington correspondent for Dallas News, begins very normally. "It just tastes good," he says. It's a sweet and simple answer, and one he shouldn't have continued to explain.

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The clip features Ted Cruz after his beloved Texas queso lost in a blind taste test of queso performed by U.S. Senate republicans. Apparently, Arkansas queso was declared the winner, much to Cruz's dismay.

Because, as Cruz explains, "Good queso relaxes you." We've heard a lot of horrible things in 2016, but we've got to add another one to the list.

He proceeds to create an image that in no way makes queso, a very good thing, sound good: "Queso is made to be scooped up with tortilla chips, dribbling down your chin and onto your shirt." WHAT'S SO GREAT ABOUT THAT, TED? YOU LOSE THE QUESO TO YOUR POLO SHIRT!

And, of course, that's not all. Queso creates a "visceral, emotional, powerful family bond," so remember that next time you're eating it in your car after going to Chipotle.

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Jessye McGarry

Jessye McGarry is an acquaintance, middle child and former Humor Intern at Mashable.


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