Questions tagged [purim-torah-in-jest]
THIS QUESTION IS ONLY IN JEST. "Purim Torah" is humorous and satirical writings customarily read on the Jewish holiday of Purim. Mi Yodeya has a great collection of Purim Torah, under this tag. For our collection of *real* Q&A about Judaism, see our home page: judaism.stackexchange.com.
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PTIJ: why can’t Jews be dare-y with meat [closed]
Halacha is that Jews separate meat from being dare-y. Is there a reason for this, especially given the principle of shomer petaim hashem (see psalms 116:6).
This question is Purim Torah and is not ...
- 4,808
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PTIJ: may Jews time travel and sin in the past before Yom Kippur [closed]
There is a mitzvah to ask for forgiveness from somebody you’ve wronged on Erev Yom Kippur. Also the Mishnah in Yoma 8:9 states
With regard to one who says: I will sin and then I will repent, I will ...
- 4,808
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PTIJ: What did the Yidden do wrong that they deserved that the entire nation should have bad hearing? [closed]
The Megila which we read every Purim starts off with the following Pasuk:
"וַיְהִ֖י בִּימֵ֣י אֲחַשְׁוֵר֑וֹשׁ ה֣וּא אֲחַשְׁוֵר֗וֹשׁ הַמֹּלֵךְ֙ מֵהֹ֣דּוּ וְעַד־כּ֔וּשׁ שֶׁ֛בַע וְעֶשְׂרִ֥ים וּמֵאָ֖ה ...
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PTIJ: If I wear a bear head to the megilla reading, must I wear a kippah on top of it? [closed]
At the Megillah reading there were many people dressed joyously for Yom Tov, including a number of people in the guise of various animals.
Must a person in the guise of an animal wear a kippah on the ...
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PTIJ: How do we know from the Megilla that Haman and Zeresh had a bad marriage? [closed]
"וַיִּתְאַפַּק הָמָן, וַיָּבוֹא אֶל-בֵּיתוֹ; וַיִּשְׁלַח וַיָּבֵא אֶת-אֹהֲבָיו, וְאֶת-זֶרֶשׁ אִשְׁתּוֹ"
"Haman refrained himself, and went home; and he sent and fetched his loved ones ...
- 146
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PTIJ: Hagalah on a suit from a non-Jew [closed]
Do you have to do Hagalah on a suit that you buy from a non-Jew and if so does dry cleaning count?
Please cite sources if possible.
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
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PTIJ: How do you prove G-d is The BOSS? [closed]
How can you prove, directly from the Divine Name, that G-d is The BOSS?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken completely seriously. See the Purim Torah policy.
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PTIJ: Website hechsherim [closed]
Can anyone explain to me how the concept of hechsherim and mashgichim works for websites? I'm often asked by a website to accept some or all cookies, but most websites don't include a hechsher or ...
- 3,094
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PTIJ: Does Chukot Hagoyim and Dina D’malchuta Dina apply on planet of the apes [closed]
Does the usual Halacha of following the secular laws of non-Jews and prohibition against following non-Jewish customs apply on planet of the apes?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended ...
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PTIJ: Was Yitzchak Breslov? [closed]
I've been pondering which type of Jew each of the Avos was and I think I have proof to one of them. Genesis 24:63 states,
וַיֵּצֵ֥א יִצְחָ֛ק לָשׂ֥וּחַ בַּשָּׂדֶ֖ה לִפְנ֣וֹת עָ֑רֶב
-"Yitzchak went ...
- 185
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PTIJ: Why do we glorify Pearl Harbor? [closed]
I don't think that our educational system should include songs which celebrate war. Is there any discussion why we teach children to sing about the attack on Pearl Harbor as if it was a divine ...
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PTIJ: Guide to being a super hero if you are Jewish [closed]
There have been many super heroes in Jewish history. For example, Rivka was actually Batman. See Onkelos on Bereshit 24:23:
וַאֲמַר בַּת מָן אַתְּ
And he (Eliezer) said "You are Batman"
...
- 11.5k
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PTIJ: What are some customs and traditions of the Yishletu Chasidim? [closed]
I haven't met very many Yishletuers, and am looking to get some more information. From what I've heard, their name comes from "yesh l'tu", since they go out of their way to make sure they do ...
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PTIJ: Can my friend be eaten? [closed]
My Hebrew is far short of what I would like, so I often must rely on translation. In the translation I read:
Every moving thing that liveth shall be meat for you; even as the green herb have I given ...
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PTIJ: Why did the chicken cross the road? [closed]
Just wondering if Torah sources have any answer to the world's most timeless and compelling question: why did the chicken cross the road?
This question is Purim Torah and is not intended to be taken ...
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