My parents fight so much. My father screams at my mother and sometimes hit her (lightly) but it affects me and everyone in the house because we get scared.
One day my father was super angry and blamed my mother about something (they were fighting about the same thing for a very long time), he was about to hit her until I got very mad and started to scream and shout at my father "Stop this! Don't hit her! Why do you always do this to my mother! Imagine if I was married and my husband hit me!!! Would you be ok with that?!" I said many things to him in anger and all he did was say "calm down. please just calm down."
When the fighting and shouting stopped, I went to my room and started crying so much because I love my parents soooooo much and I knew that I ruined everything with my father by shouting at him. After crying, I went to my father and apologized and hugged him and told him i would never shout at him again. He forgave me.
The good thing that came out of this is that my father calmed down and never hit my mother again. He also became a more relaxed person.
This incident happened approximately more than one year ago. Since that time I have been feeling very depressed because I know in islam if someone raises their voice or disrespects their parents they will never see paradise and it is a major sin. I have prayed to allah to ask for forgiveness for disrespecting my father but I still feel like any prayer or any good deed that I do is a waste.
I just want to feel or know that I have been forgiven from Allah. I really don't know what to do. I feel extremely terrible and heartbroken every time i pray. I don't want to feel this way. I really regret that I screamed at my father.
What do I do? How can I be forgiven by Allah? Or will I never be forgiven? I am lost. Please help me.
Thank you for your time.
