The issue

My father has lately made a few sexist (and other -ist) "jokes", in the form of what I came to learn are called "disparagement jokes".
This has made me, and my wife, a bit uncomfortable.
Given the way he has raised me, I am convinced he can be taught to be better.

What I tried

The first case was a very horrible US right-wing dog whistle of a "joke" against "snowflakes" shared via Whatsapp. I reacted sternly, saying that knowing the politics behind it (we're not from the US, and he's very much not exposed to the US cultural debate), I really could not see the fun in it. He started complaining that I should be more flexible, understand that his intentions are not evil, and that "nowadays you can't joke about anything without offending someone". I replied that lots of jokes can be made without offending someone, and being convinced of the contrary is not a good look. The conversation died.

A few days later he made a joke at the dinner table saying that I was lucky that my wife in those days what without voice as I "could have a bit of peace". I gave him the stink-eye on the spot.
I then resumed the conversation pointing out that it's not a nice thing to say. His response was unchanged, with the addition that I should remember that it was a joke based on a stereotype, so not directed towards my wife in particular.

Side Issues

His age definitely does not help. He's now a 60+ years old grandfather. His mind and attitudes are pretty difficult to change and he's demonstrating more and more an unwillingness to learn new things, starting with technology.
He's also former military and the son/grandson of someone who fought WWII for the wrong side and never recanted their beliefs. He only recently started being fed up with voting center-right-wing (only after the company he worked for was basically sold for scraps by a right-wing government).
In addition, my parents - but here is mostly my mother, I feel - think that in a marriage, the woman pulls the husband away from his family, and thus they might think that these issues I have with those "jokes" have been forced upon me by my US wife, rather than being something I really think, so they might be more prone to dismiss them.
I also have lived out of my parents' home for the last 20 years, so they have not seen me change gradually, they only have seen the big changes (such as refusing to go to church since ~15 years ago).

My Aim

I would like to have him understand why certain jokes are hurtful, without burning bridges with him.
I think I need to teach him about the problems of disparaging jokes in general and have him understand the way they hurt people, but I can't find a good way.

How can I explain my point to my father in an effective way without burning bridges?

The issue

My father has lately made a few sexist (and other -ist) "jokes", in the form of what I came to learn are called "disparagement jokes".
This has made me, and my wife, a bit uncomfortable.
Given the way he has raised me, I am convinced he can be taught to be better.

What I tried

The first case was a very horrible US right-wing dog whistle of a "joke" against "snowflakes" shared via Whatsapp. I reacted sternly, saying that knowing the politics behind it (we're not from the US, and he's very much not exposed to the US cultural debate), I really could not see the fun in it. He started complaining that I should be more flexible, understand that his intentions are not evil, and that "nowadays you can't joke about anything without offending someone". I replied that lots of jokes can be made without offending someone, and being convinced of the contrary is not a good look. The conversation died.

A few days later he made a joke at the dinner table saying that I was lucky that my wife in those days what without voice as I "could have a bit of peace". I gave him the stink-eye on the spot.
I then resumed the conversation pointing out that it's not a nice thing to say. His response was unchanged, with the addition that I should remember that it was a joke based on a stereotype, so not directed towards my wife in particular.

Side Issues

His age definitely does not help. He's now a 60+ years old grandfather. His mind and attitudes are pretty difficult to change and he's demonstrating more and more an unwillingness to learn new things, starting with technology.
He's also former military and the son/grandson of someone who fought WWII for the wrong side and never recanted their beliefs. He only recently started being fed up with voting center-right-wing (only after the company he worked for was basically sold for scraps by a right-wing government).
In addition, my parents - but here is mostly my mother, I feel - think that in a marriage, the woman pulls the husband away from his family, and thus they might think that these issues I have with those "jokes" have been forced upon me by my US wife, rather than being something I really think, so they might be more prone to dismiss them.
I also have lived out of my parents' home for the last 20 years, so they have not seen me change gradually, they only have seen the big changes (such as refusing to go to church since ~15 years ago).

My Aim

I would like to have him understand why certain jokes are hurtful, without burning bridges with him.
I think I need to teach him about the problems of disparaging jokes in general and have him understand the way they hurt people, but I can't find a good way.

How can I explain my point to my father in an effective way without burning bridges?

Risks

I risk alienating my father if I continue telling him that certain jokes are not ok/hurtful without having him understand why. Knowing him, he'd rather stop talking to me rather than being told that he's making mistakes. As a middle ground he would simply stop making jokes of all kinds around me, but I know he would resent me in that case, and resolution would be more complicated.

The issue

My father has lately made a few sexist (and other -ist) "jokes", in the form of what I came to learn are called "disparagement jokes".
This has made me, and my wife, a bit uncomfortable.
Given the way he has raised me, I am convinced he can be taught to be better.

What I tried

The first case was a very horrible US right-wing dog-whistle of a "joke" against "snowflakes" shared via Whatsapp. I reacted sternly, saying that knowing the politics behind it (we're not from the US, and he's very much not exposed to the US cultural debate), I really could not see the fun in it. He started complaining that I should be more flexible, understand that his intentions are not evil, and that "nowadays you can't joke about anything without offending someone". I replied that lots of jokes can be made without offending someone, and being convinced of the contrary is not a good look. The conversation died.

A few days later he made a joke at the dinner table saying that I was lucky that my wife in those days what without voice as I "could have a bit of peace". I gave him the stink-eye on the spot.
I then resumed the conversation pointing out that it's not a nice thing to say. His response was unchanged, with the addition that I should remember that it was a joke based on a stereotype, so not directed towards my wife in particular.

Side Issues

His age definitely does not help. He's now a 60+ years old grandfather. His mind and attitudes are pretty difficult to change and he's demonstrating more and more an unwillingness to learn new things, starting from technology.
He's also former military, and the son/grandson of someone who fought WWII for the wrong side, and never recanted their beliefs. He only recently started being fed up with voting center-right-wing (only after the company he worked for was basically sold for scraps by a right-wing government).
In addition, my parents - but here is mostly my mother, I feel - think that in a marriage, the woman pulls the husband away from his family, and thus they might think that these issues I have with those "jokes" have been forced upon me by my US wife, rather than being something I really think, so they might be more prone to dismiss them.
I also have lived out of my parents home for the last 20 years, so they have not seen me change gradually, they only have seen the big changes (such as refusing to go to church since ~15 years ago).

My Aim

I would like to have him understand why certain jokes are hurtful, without burning bridges with him.
I think I need to teach him about the problems of disparaging jokes in general, and have him understand the way they hurt people, but I can't find a good way. I think a good approach could be having him read an essay on the topic, but I can't find one with a matter-of-fact language that I think could get through to him without being rejected for being accusatory.

Are there other approaches I could/should try?

The issue

My father has lately made a few sexist (and other -ist) "jokes", in the form of what I came to learn are called "disparagement jokes".
This has made me, and my wife, a bit uncomfortable.
Given the way he has raised me, I am convinced he can be taught to be better.

What I tried

The first case was a very horrible US right-wing dog whistle of a "joke" against "snowflakes" shared via Whatsapp. I reacted sternly, saying that knowing the politics behind it (we're not from the US, and he's very much not exposed to the US cultural debate), I really could not see the fun in it. He started complaining that I should be more flexible, understand that his intentions are not evil, and that "nowadays you can't joke about anything without offending someone". I replied that lots of jokes can be made without offending someone, and being convinced of the contrary is not a good look. The conversation died.

A few days later he made a joke at the dinner table saying that I was lucky that my wife in those days what without voice as I "could have a bit of peace". I gave him the stink-eye on the spot.
I then resumed the conversation pointing out that it's not a nice thing to say. His response was unchanged, with the addition that I should remember that it was a joke based on a stereotype, so not directed towards my wife in particular.

Side Issues

His age definitely does not help. He's now a 60+ years old grandfather. His mind and attitudes are pretty difficult to change and he's demonstrating more and more an unwillingness to learn new things, starting with technology.
He's also former military and the son/grandson of someone who fought WWII for the wrong side and never recanted their beliefs. He only recently started being fed up with voting center-right-wing (only after the company he worked for was basically sold for scraps by a right-wing government).
In addition, my parents - but here is mostly my mother, I feel - think that in a marriage, the woman pulls the husband away from his family, and thus they might think that these issues I have with those "jokes" have been forced upon me by my US wife, rather than being something I really think, so they might be more prone to dismiss them.
I also have lived out of my parents' home for the last 20 years, so they have not seen me change gradually, they only have seen the big changes (such as refusing to go to church since ~15 years ago).

My Aim

I would like to have him understand why certain jokes are hurtful, without burning bridges with him.
I think I need to teach him about the problems of disparaging jokes in general and have him understand the way they hurt people, but I can't find a good way.

How can I explain my point to my father in an effective way without burning bridges?