Can I get an honest opinion about my PhD research journey? [closed]

Question

As a 5th year PhD, I am about to submit my thesis in 4-5 months. My PhD is in computational materials science. Following are things I have done:

• I have published 1 paper and 3 are yet to be submitted.
• I have 2 co-authored publications. 1 more to be submitted.
• Presented in 5 conferences.
• Teaching assistant for several tutorial courses, grader position.
• Contributed to grant writing.
• Took part in some extracurricular activities like mentoring undergrads on presentation skills, being judge on some sessions.

So what's my question here? I just want an honest opinion about what you think about my PhD journey, because I am really underwhelmed by it. My supervisor seemed satisfied with my progress. But I feel that I will be ridiculed by my committee for the low-key research I have done.

Why do I feel like this:

• Well, I feel that I could have done all this in much less time than I have spent on them.
• I have published my research only in mediocre journals. So, I have not been very productive. My work is not mathematically intensive as my colleagues. To be honest, it is not a very technically difficult research.
• I feel that I am not hardworking enough to deserve a PhD.

My goal prior to starting my PhD was to be an academic. Now, when I am on the verge of completion, I don't know if I have the right to see myself that way.

Answer 1

Sounds like classic Imposter Syndrome. Your advisor is probably the right person to answer your concerns as they know what you have actually done and what they would want to say in any letter of recommendation.

Two notes.

First is that you are probably smarter/better now than when you started this research, so in looking back it seems less significant than it did when you started. This is natural, if not universal.

Second, your first work (the dissertation) won't, one hopes, be the best work you ever do in your life. It is a mistake to think of it as such.

Talk to your advisor. Relax.

Answer 2

Collect the sheepskin and move on. Yeah, maybe you could have worked harder and done more, but that is in the past. You have a decent record, nothing earth-shattering, but also better than some poor souls with zero publications. (You asked for candor.)

It is natural at this stage to have some second thoughts about how you could have done more. But you need to look forward, not back. Drop the woe is me (definitely don't show it to committee). If you want to work harder in future jobs, fine, do so. But don't dwell in the past.