Timeline for How do I cut ties with a bad supervisor?
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
28 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| S Feb 27, 2018 at 10:21 | history | suggested | Glorfindel | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
typos corrected
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| Feb 27, 2018 at 9:14 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Feb 27, 2018 at 10:21 | |||||
| Oct 16, 2017 at 10:50 | comment | added | K.Grayson | @Nobilis Thank you for the concern, this is something I thought about before making an account. K Grayson is not my real name. | |
| Oct 12, 2017 at 11:23 | history | edited | K.Grayson | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
6 months later
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| Jun 1, 2017 at 5:09 | history | tweeted | twitter.com/StackAcademia/status/870145370445287424 | ||
| May 30, 2017 at 3:03 | review | Close votes | |||
| Jun 1, 2017 at 3:03 | |||||
| May 25, 2017 at 3:58 | comment | added | TOOGAM | Yeah, some of that ("self harm") is not wise to comment on publicly, except anonymously. If you didn't choose an anonymous name, you might want to see about changing your name, preferably in a way that minimizes public records. (Maybe a moderator can help, if needed, for safety/privacy reasons.) Best to do soon before (more) web crawlers permanently store (more) copies of this page. | |
| May 24, 2017 at 19:12 | comment | added | Rich | This is not really a question about your PhD or your supervisor; this is a question about your resumption of self harm. You need to seek help for that immediately. You mention you have a councillor, but it's not clear if this is really helping you, or if they're providing an echo chamber. Please seek medical help as soon as you can! The rest will fall into place. Put "procrastination" on your agenda, on the assumption you'll never get around to it :-) Good luck! | |
| May 24, 2017 at 16:48 | comment | added | Strawberry | Moving forward, what's the ideal scenario? | |
| May 24, 2017 at 8:24 | comment | added | Nobilis | @K.Grayson I'm very sorry you're going through this, just a thought, unless this is not your name, might be worth using a nickname or something similar to protect your anonymity. | |
| May 24, 2017 at 7:21 | answer | added | The Quantum Physicist | timeline score: 7 | |
| May 24, 2017 at 6:29 | history | edited | aparente001 |
added tag
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| May 24, 2017 at 6:16 | answer | added | aparente001 | timeline score: 4 | |
| May 23, 2017 at 19:32 | comment | added | mathreadler | Many people are under pressure. That is the reality of academia, and I would say, probably a fair share of society - although it's reasonable to say that it takes a while to realize for many of us. It could be that your boss is bad at managing their own pressure and the leakage hits and burns you, but nevertheless one must need to learn to regulate pressure - ones own and the consequences of others in one way or another. It's a shame there aren't more courses about this in undergrad university. I don't think I ever saw one when I enrolled anyway. | |
| May 23, 2017 at 19:05 | comment | added | anomaly | 1) There is not a way of cutting off contact with her without some some confrontation or general unpleasantness. That's not a reason to avoid doing it. 2) Don't continue working with her after your defense. It's not going to get any better, and you have other options. 3) Finish your degree, then run like hell. Get a postdoc, continue up the academic path, and eventually your supervisor won't have any ability to mess with your life and career. | |
| May 23, 2017 at 16:09 | answer | added | silvado | timeline score: 45 | |
| May 23, 2017 at 15:34 | comment | added | JeffE | I dont feel I can talk to anyone else in the department in case it gets back to my supervisor. — Does your university have an ombudsman? What about faculty outside your department? — I dont know what the norm is — Ask your graduate director, or other students in your department, or even Academia StackExchange! | |
| May 23, 2017 at 15:18 | answer | added | user73885 | timeline score: 14 | |
| May 23, 2017 at 12:39 | comment | added | user2768 | I suggest that you enquire about who makes the local arrangements for your defense and who needs to be present. It might be possible that someone other than your supervisor can act as your point of contact and that your supervisor need not attend. | |
| May 23, 2017 at 12:38 | review | Close votes | |||
| May 23, 2017 at 21:44 | |||||
| May 23, 2017 at 12:13 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | Above is a comment as it does not directly answer your question. So, an addendum: is it an option to keep low profile until your examination? If so, try to do so. Stay under the radar and get over the exam, and then, do not continue working for her. Do not be tempted by coaxing or threats. Until now, the situation is not your fault - I repeat: not your fault. You couldn't know that it would devolve as it did. But, if you continue to work for her after the PhD, it is your decision. It is ok for now to indicate that you might continue with her, to soothe her. But do not actually do it. | |
| May 23, 2017 at 12:00 | comment | added | Captain Emacs | She says "the examiners are angry"? No, she is angry. She clearly tries to manipulate you and make it look as if all is your mistake. We do not know enough about her for more judgement, but clearly she is a highly unempathetic person; furthermore, she is trying to squeeze you like a lemon before you leave. She does not care about you and you do not have to feel obliged to her. I take it she is not one of your examiners, correct? In which case, she may try to influence them, but she does not really make the decision - which is good. As for "others would have fired you", how would she know? | |
| May 23, 2017 at 11:57 | comment | added | K.Grayson | Thank you @JeffE To answer your questions, I do technically have a second supervisor, but I have never met with her about my project (my primary supervisor tells me its more of a formality to have a second one in this case) and she is currently on long term sick leave. I dont feel I can talk to anyone else in the department in case it gets back to my supervisor. I am in the UK, and have been told all contact with my examiner should go through my supervisor (told by her), so I dont know what the norm is. | |
| May 23, 2017 at 11:40 | comment | added | JeffE | Is it normal in your field/country that you don't have direct contact with your examiners? | |
| May 23, 2017 at 11:38 | comment | added | JeffE | I'm so sorry that you're in this awful situation. I sincerely hope that you are getting professional help for your mental health issues. Your mental and emotional health are worth far more than your PhD. Do you have other faculty mentors besides your advisor that you can discuss your situation with? | |
| May 23, 2017 at 10:50 | answer | added | robinj | timeline score: 4 | |
| May 23, 2017 at 10:21 | review | First posts | |||
| May 23, 2017 at 11:32 | |||||
| May 23, 2017 at 10:20 | history | asked | K.Grayson | CC BY-SA 3.0 |