Bizarrely I am trying to solve this same problem and I have found a little success. I am using an HP HD 3110. They have them at best buy for about 20 bucks. Anyway I tried using it with VLC and third party software and I had a lag of about 300ms and for what I am doing that is almost unacceptable.
Brightness helped and setting the exposure to be fixed really low appeared to help, but it may simply raise the frame rate which is not necessarily the same as reducing the latency. Ultimately the best performance came from using the software that came with the webcam.
The latency is in the 100ms or lower ballpark which is below what humans typically detect without effort. I have no good explanation for this. Its possible that VLC and the other software I used buffered the images a little much or the software that came with the device may be accessing hidden options for the webcam.
The main issue is your system, but for all I know you may be able to get it to work. Secondly the software that comes with a camera will not make it easy to incorporate into other programs potentially.