The Thick of It: top 10 Malcolm Tucker moments

Armando Iannucci's part-improvised political comedy about the inner workings of new(ish) Labour, The Thick of It, returns to TV next week – this time with a proper run of eight episodes and a prime-time Saturday night slot on BBC2.

The new series begins on the day of a cabinet reshuffle and a new minister for the Department of Social Affairs and Citizenship in the form of Nicola Murray (played by queen of twisted middle-class women Rebecca Front) a back-bencher so low down the pecking order her appointment is likened to a dinner lady presenting the 10th series of The Big Breakfast.

The best reason to tune in though is to witness the further adventures of Malcolm Tucker, Peter Capaldi's lethal Scottish enforcer of number 10's wishes, or as Murray describes him "the PM's all-swearing eye". With Tucker, The Thick of It has taken profanity, the liberal use of the word cock and the fine art of the soul-puncturing put-down to a new high.

So here are our 10 favourite Tucker quotes from the first series and the two spin-off specials (both of which are being repeated next week). Did we miss any pearls of Tucker wisdom? Feel free to share them below.

WARNING: Obvious really, but just in case … ridiculously sweary language follows below:

Our ten favourite Tucker quotes

Responding to knock at his door: "Come the fuck in or fuck the fuck off."

Tucker's Law (out-take from the Spinners & Losers special): "If some cunt can fuck something up, that cunt will pick the worst possible time to fucking fuck it up cause that cunt's a cunt."

Moaning about minister on the phone: "He's about as much use as a marzipan dildo."

To a pair of rival advisors: "Laurel and fucking Hardy! Glad you could join us. Did you manage to get that piano up the stairs OK?"

Dressing down MP, Geoff Holhurst: "You're so back-bench, you've actually fucking fallen off. You're out by the fucking bins where I put you."

Commenting on Ben Swain's disastrous Newsnight appearance: "All these hands all over the place! You were like a sweaty octopus trying to unhook a bra."

Bollocking a communications department employee: "How much fucking shit is there on the menu and what fucking flavour is it?"

Advising minister Hugh Abbot to keep up with the zeitgeist: "You've got 24 hours to sort out your policy on EastEnders, right? Or you're for the halal butchers."

Note passed to assistant Jamie during meeting with blue-sky thinker Julius Nicholson: "Please could you take this note, ram it up his hairy inbox and pin it to his fucking prostate."