The brilliance of Cher's Twitter – a jewel in the bizarro crown of the internet

A wise woman once said, “Stanley Tucci is a brat.”

That woman was Cher, in a post on her Twitter account. The 67-year-old mononym (née Cherilyn Sarkisian) also recently used Twitter to bestow this important message upon us regarding the Clinton presidential campaign:

Food for thought.

Cher’s Twitter feed is a jewel in the glittering, bizarro crown of the internet. Stream-of-consciousness in the truest sense, reading her daily missives is like getting rosé drunk with your favorite aunt. Wherever her mind wanders, a tweet shortly follows, and she does not hold back.

The singer offers up ancestral horror stories of genocide in Turkey next to thoughts about work (“what’s going on with mycareer”) and the obligatory smattering of selfies (recent classics include “Me as Mona Lisa” and “me as a BLUR”). She wields emojis generously, with a free hand and little interest in context. She’s also political – talking environmentalism, race relations in America and gun control, between discussions of wigs and drinking bourbon with her mom. This February, she live-tweeted the acquisition of a pony. It’s a wild ride.

So what’s she doing on there? Enjoying herself, primarily. The singer, who is dyslexic, is not particularly worried about her often faulty spelling, grammar, or punctuation. As she puts it: “Just cause i cant spell or know Grammar / doesn’t mean i don’t know Many things! / HISTORY, Ancient Religion,War,Could go on,but id b a pain!” Nor is she worried about the opinions of trolls. She shares her opinions and daily activities, and speaks happily with fans.

This being the internet, she’s gotten in a few scraps, but she’s always happy to resolve them:

While many celebrities use Twitter for carefully crafted self-promotion, Cher just lets it all hang out. Five decades of show business have surely taught her the perils of taking oneself too seriously.

While it can be hard to tell at times whether or not she’s in on the joke, in some moments (like this birthday tribute to Madonna) she’s a knowing comedic genius, and it’s clear that she’s trying to make herself laugh as much as anyone else.

In more self-reflexive modes (“Can anyone c me”) she becomes an absurdist poet, experimenting with syntax, sunsets, and subtlety. Whether she’s got a plan or not, it’s clear that Cher’s having a good time.

More than just a reliable source of entertainment, Cher’s tweets considered as a whole offer a kind of modern philosophy for living. She’s a 67-year-old with a healthy, active sex life. We should all be so lucky. We certainly should all “piss & moan” less about “Ridiculous Things!”. And I wish I was zen enough to bid my detractors a simple “Sayonara, buttface”.

Her account is the online equivalent of that older woman at the gym who does NOT care where she’s nude. And as for haters? She doesn’t have time for them.

This is Cher’s world. We’re just faving in it.