Peter Gray love-bombed his victims into believing he was everything they needed.
The 35-year-old came across as kind and thoughtful, showering his Tinder dates with surprise gifts. But the string of innocent women he targeted knew something 'wasn't quite right', as each of them had a gut feeling something was off.
The sinister scammer swindled four women out of about £80,000 and was jailed in February for 56 months. But unlike other romance fraudsters, Gray, from West Yorkshire, never directly asked for money and defrauded them behind their backs by stealing their identities.
One woman, Jessica - not her real name - met him on the dating app in 2018 after coming out of a six-year relationship. Speaking to BBC Radio 5 Live, she said he was "a good listener and everything I needed at the time".
A few weeks after she stopped seeing him, Jessica noticed a payment just short of £500 came out of her account, with a similar payment made the following day. She later discovered loans up to the value of £9,000 were taken out in her name.
At his apartment on their third date, Jessica got up to use the bathroom and left her handbag and purse in view. "I left my bag on his dining table, he went in my bag and took pictures of my driving licence and both my bank cards," she revealed.
When she called the loan company, she discovered he had used his home address on one of the loans, enabling Jessica to attribute the fraud to Gray. Another victim, Elizabeth - not her real name - who matched with Gray in 2020, was sent flowers without her ever informing him of where she lived, which sent alarm bells ringing.
Talking to 5 Live, she recalled the chilling moment: "He sent me some flowers to my house, I questioned 'how did you know my address? Because I'd never told you where I lived.' He said he went and 'looked at your driving licence and viewed your address because I wanted to do something nice for you,' and it was a bit like, he's being nice but he's gone into my personal things.
"Your gut feeling just kept saying something is not right, there is a dark side to him. It makes you question yourself and your judgment. He was so good at being the person you wanted him to be."
Just two days before moving into her new home, Elizabeth's mortgage was revoked after he had used the details on her driving licence to secure a £10,000 loan in her name. Another woman, Hannah, whom he also met on Tinder, described Gray as initially "calming and reassuring," but something "didn't sit right".
When she decided to call the romance off, a week later she received an acceptance letter for a loan of £20,000 in her name. The pair rekindled, with Gray buying her gifts, but she ended it once again. And when she found out she was pregnant, her sister looked into his past, tracking down one of his exes who warned of his dark secrets.
"There's no way that I'm going to let a child be brought up anywhere near such a vile human," Hannah said. "My world had just literally broken apart in front of my eyes in that half an hour conversation."
Two of the women were able to use the Domestic Violence Disclosure Scheme, also known as Clare's Law - which allows people to ask police for a background check on their partner - to help Gray be convicted. Speaking about how Gray operated, Dr Elisabeth Carter, associate professor of criminology at Kingston College University, told the radio station: "This is a nontypical romance fraud.
"Usually, you would get somebody grooming an individual and then slowly grooming them into trusting them and asking them for money. This hasn't happened. The grooming has happened, just to get into physical proximity of these women to then take their ID."
Dr Carter noted that the majority of support and information provided by police and banks talks about what to do if people ask for money, and steps to take to check if it is a genuine request. However this group had no idea what Gray was doing.
"It's no wonder that these women found themselves in this situation," she said. "Sadly, they blame themselves. What you can do is listen to your body, each of these women said they felt something was wrong. But they couldn't put their finger on it."
She highlighted the importance of talking to other people if a situation doesn't feel right, which can allow you to bounce ideas off other people, and get a second opinion. She also warned of love bombing, which is now a recognised form of abuse in England. The Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) recently updated its guidelines on coercive and controlling behaviour to recognise the harrowing effect of love bombing, in a move charities have praised.
Ruth Davison, Chief Executive of Refuge, told Cosmopolitan that it's "vital that the criminal justice system recognises the extent perpetrators will [go] in an attempt to control and manipulate a partner, and this change is a step in the right direction. I hope this updated guidance means more survivors are able to seek justice for the crime perpetrated against them. It is now the job of our police forces and courts to show perpetrators this is not behaviour that will be tolerated."
Speaking of how they often get away with it for some time, Dr Carter said: "Honing in on that victim's interests, it feels very lovely if someone is listening to you, but that's exactly what these fraudsters do, they take exactly what that individual's issues are or history and they play on it. They also make you feel isolated so that you don't want to tell anyone about it."
While the financial harm is obvious when it comes to con artists, Dr Carter also raised the lasting psychological harm, as many of the women opened up about the damaging impact it has had on their trust of others. "In person, they have shared intimate information with each other, it's a particular kind of deception which is incredibly harmful with long-term consequences for trust."
Tinder told the BBC that it "acts to help prevent and warn users of potential scams or fraud by using AI tools to detect words and phrases and proactively intervene". "We have implemented various ways to warn users of potential scams or fraud, from in-app features to pop-up messages and education," a spokesperson said.
"All users can request that their match be photo-verified prior to messaging. We also partner with non-governmental organizations and local authorities to promote awareness of online fraud."
If you have been a victim of fraud, please refer to Action on Fraud's information webpage for help and support.