A woman who suffers from a bizarre eating disorder says eating cement and mortar is like a "comfort blanket" and gives her "such a buzz".
Patrice Benjamin-Ramgoolam has pica, a rare disorder that sees people eating non-food items with no nutritional value, such as chalk, paper and soap. She has craved mortar since she was a teenager and although she knows it's "very bad" for her, she sees it as "a happy hormone".
Patrice particularly loves the "dry taste" and, amazingly, is yet to suffer from any major health issues as a result of her condition. She started living with her grandparents after her parents separated, and she learned that she had an aunt and uncle who suffered from pica.
In an interview with Closer, Patrice, 39, said: "I'd like to be able to stop for my husband's sake, but I don't know if I can."
When she was 15, Patrice picked up a metal ornament and scraped a wall to find out "what the walls were like beneath the paint". It became a regular occurrence as she gouged out roughly five teaspoons of mortar. Her grandmother and aunt eventually noticed the damage but put it down to "wear and tear".
Patrice later moved into a new house and took her secret with her. She soon reconnected with Calvin, an old friend from primary school, in 2012, and they married the following year, living with her grandparents and staying there after they died.
She continued to pick at the walls, unbeknown to Calvin, concealing one of the holes beneath a poster, while another wasn't visible because it was down by the bed. The jig was up, however, when Calvin, 38, a business student, found Patrice with dust around her mouth and scissors in her hand.
She said: "I was too embarrassed to tell him about what I was doing. To me, it was normal, but I knew he wouldn't see it that way. Calvin looked at me, completely bewildered and baffled and asked what I was doing. And that was when I had to explain about what I did to the walls.
"I was scared about his reaction. But after I'd told him, I was glad that he knew. Keeping it hidden had been a huge burden to me. He was upset, of course, and I could see he didn't quite believe it, but he begged me to stop." Patrice then visited a doctor, and she was prescribed iron tablets, but these didn't work.
Patrice was diagnosed in 2012 and later participated in a documentary about pica. In a bid to understand her condition, she met with a counsellor, who explored her family history to find out whether there could be a connection and Patrice believes there could very well be a link.
She said eating the walls "filled a void" in her life, as she was "distant" from her mum and watched her have another family with two extra kids, so she had "never been part of that family unit". Patrice, who is currently waiting for an ADD assessment, has also been diagnosed with anxiety and depression, and pica has been known to operate as a coping mechanism for these conditions.
She now practises mindfulness strategies to cope with her condition. She said she has chips in her teeth from chewing the mortar, and she knows the condition "could kill" her, but she now has "more control over it".
She said: "But to be honest, I don't know if I'm ready to completely stop as it still triggers happiness inside me. I just hope I don't end up seriously damaging my health."