power, privilege, and everyday life.
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242 posts tagged body
“Wow, you’re getting old. You better hurry up and get married if you want to have any kids.”
A female resident to me during my annual gynecological exam when I was in my early 30s. Macro fail for assuming every woman wants to get married and have kids. Smaller fail for her clueless remark just a few months after my SECOND date rape.
“Why would you wear your hair like that today of all days? It’s not appropriate for a leadership position, it looks unprofessional.”
The prefect coordinator at my high school when she catches sight of my braids (which looked bomb, might I add!!!), before instructing me to tie it back before my photos. She goes on to explain, as though it should be obvious, that as a representative of the school I have a responsibility to uphold a certain image. She later complains about my “stupid braids” to the school and vice captain.
btw, this teacher is also head of wellbeing.
When I was going through puberty, I had a major growth spurt that left me with stretch marks. I was embarrassed about them at the time and complained about them at home. My stepmom would always ask if they were from gaining weight, as though I, a preteen who was a perfectly healthy weight, had suddenly gotten fat. She also tried to get me into a fairly toxic diet culture because she thought I was fat.
“Having any body image issues? You better not say yes.”
My doctor says this, looking over his glasses at me. I feel obligated to answer, “No.” He makes me feel like I have no right to struggle with my body image because I’m thin. What he doesn’t know is I struggle with body image because I’m a survivor of sexual abuse; my rapist made me feel disgusted with my body. But I’m not allowed to feel that way because I’m “thin.”
I am a female teacher in my late twenties. I am also under five feet tall. I never exactly know what to say when people tell me, “Oh, I thought you were a student!” One of the comments that I hear often is “That [chair, bag, box, etc.] is bigger than you are!” Obviously, it then becomes difficult to feel like an equal professional among my colleagues and superiors.
I was running one day about five years ago. I’m a fat woman who really likes to run and has excellent form, has finished a 5K, and is still fat and accepts and embraces that. This random woman I’d never met told me I was doing a “good job” for running. I guess she thought it was encouraging that I was running because I was being a “good” fat person. I wish I’d have rolled my eyes or something, but my reaction was an awkward smile. Let me run without your unnecessary and fatphobic commentary.
“I think black girls with short hair are ugly.”
My ex after I told him that I was going to cut my hair to go natural.
“I don’t like short hair on girls.”
Random older men to me, a woman, when I got an undercut for the first time. In a tone of voice that suggests they think their word is law.
That time in sixth grade, when i was just hitting puberty and still didn’t know how to live with it. Didn’t shave my armpits because i didn’t feel the need to. Until one day, the two boys who sat behind me in class kept giggling and making jokes about it. They would lean in close just to look, and laugh to each other when they leaned back again. The second i came home all those years ago, me, a then thirteen year old girl stepped into the shower, and shaved all my body hair.
Why do people feel like it’s appropriate to randomly touch or feel my hair? Especially in public. I feel like it violates my personal space and the other person actually gets surprised when I react when they do it. There was one instance where someone actually wanted to see how much I reacted to them touching my hair and had a rather shocked expression when I whipped my head around and brought my hand up defensively to stop them. I don’t know why my reaction is considered weird, or even where it stemmed from. I just wish people would respect my personal space.
I work for a plasma donation facility where they provide all employees with free “men’s” scrubs. If, as a female, you want scrubs that fit your body, you have to pay for them.
At the deli this morning, I ordered my bagel with nothing on it. The guy at the counter said, “Summer’s coming! Gotta fit into that tight swimsuit.” No, actually I just keep my own cream cheese at the office, you fuck face.
I hate St. Patrick’s Day because of a bad experience I had at about 11 or 12. I was coming back from a concert a few cities over along with my mom and some friends and Ikea was on our way so we stopped because we didn’t have one near us at the time. It was the 17th and i was not wearing green. All through the busy store random people, primarily adults, kept randomly pinching me. I was well-developed at that age but uncomfortable in my body and it made me feel harassed and unsafe. I believe I actually started crying! Why does it being St. Patty’s Day make it okay to come up and touch stranger’s children?! Plus, half the people I’ve told about this didn’t get why I was upset.
I waited tables at a restaurant and a regular stated to me on several occasions that I walk *so* well. I’m 37 and it’s only in the last 2 years that I have begun openly exposing my prosthetic leg (I’ve had it since I was 12) and I will never go back to covering it. He once gestured for me to come over to him and asked “Do roll your pant leg up like that on purpose or are those pants cuffed like that?” I explained that I chose to roll then. He gestured to me again as I walked by and explained to me, as though he was letting me in on some big secret, that if I just covered it up, no one could tell. He persisted in telling me this and was obviously confused that I wouldn’t hide it. I eventually gave him the business end of my point-of-view and refused to wait on him if there was another server available. My co-workers happily obliged.
When a doctor dismissed my abdominal pain as period pain. Turns out I had a severe kidney infection.