Living through Stress of Change
Janell Zeug
Senior Vice President Human Resources at TRC Companies... Extroverted Introvert | Work Hard, Play Hard
The last few years have been extraordinary (not in a good way), causing us all to make significant shifts and changes in our everyday life. The global pandemic and all that it entailed brought stress and anxiety to even the most resolute person. If I asked each of you to reply with your most stressful experience during this time, we would get many different responses.
I have always said I can do anything for a specific amount of time. Working outside my comfort zone day-in and day-out is only an issue for me if I cannot see a light at the end of the tunnel. I tend to handle change and stress better than most (you build muscles where you regularly flex them). So, looking back it is strange that I experienced my highest levels of stress during the first few weeks of lock-down. I was in true disbelief of the situation – being isolated and hearing so many contradictory messages.
In the first few weeks of being home during lock-down, I made a few (short-term) choices that were not so positive – I drank wine and binged TV daily – both of which were outside my norm (rarely drink at home alone and generally watch less than 5 hours of TV per week). When two weeks turned into a month and there was no glimmer of light, I made personal choices to make positive changes by cutting out the noise and proactively dealing with the stress I was feeling: I planted a garden, cooked healthy meals, socialized with a small group of friends regularly, stayed active and got proper sleep.
Living through this period of history and grasping the somewhat permanent changes that have resulted has caused me to reflect.
The first time I heard the phrase “survival mode” I was in my mid-twenties and going through a divorce. I often say I was married for a minute (a few years really), but the divorce was a very low moment for me… survival mode summarized my feelings of tension, worry, anxiety, living day-to-day. At that time, I felt like I had lost control of my life and was living in the upside down. I felt alone and helpless. It took all of my focus to get through each day. I didn’t eat or sleep properly. I was living in a reactionary mode. To cope, I engaged with my first psychotherapist – trying both group and individual therapy. I learned to navigate this change in my life by acknowledging my mistakes, forgiving myself, assessing my current situation and mindfully making decisions and a new plan for my future.
One of those decisions – albeit a few years later – was to change career course from marketing to human resources (assessing where I was and deciding where I wanted to be professionally). In the area of human resources, I have become recognized for my strengths in change management. I believe this strength comes from my experiences – moving a lot as a child and other significant personal transitions like going through my divorce. I built a muscle for change and how to manage it – both personally and professionally.
Through the years I have come to enjoy change as well as transition. I had a senior leader at one company I worked call me out in a strategic planning meeting, “Janell is the only person in the room who actually likes change.” I knew then that I was in the wrong room. Change is not easy, but it is inevitable. And in my first leadership role, I worked for a CEO who lived by the mantra that “change is good,” and I agree. I have realized you can view change as something that happens to you or something you assess and make mindful decisions to work with. I look at change as an opportunity to learn and grow.
“Change is situational: the new site, the new boss, the new team roles, the new policy. Transition is the psychological process people go through to come to terms with the new situation.”
William Bridges
Through my early therapy sessions, I was introduced to the change curve. The original change curve was developed by Swiss psychiatric Elisabeth Kubler-Ross during her research of death and dying – the model is also known as the 5 stages of grief or loss. This change curve is used regularly today when managing change and transitions – whether in business or personal life. Change is situational – an event. Our personal transition or journey is the process we go through as a response to change. The model provides insight to the emotional journey that we experience when coping with transition and change. (There are many great articles on and around this change curve, the model and how to use it. See references and sources below.)
With the significant societal changes made over the last few years, we all experienced significant stress, and we all handled this stress differently. You may have experienced some of the feelings that I described during my first “survival mode” period. And your personal journey along the change curve would look differently than others since we each have individual experiences and respond to change differently. You could have gotten stuck in one of the first three stages. You could have wavered – moving back and forth between stages. But almost all of us have gotten through this period of time and integrated both personal and professional changes in our lives.
I hear people say that businesses were productive the last few years and I challenge that thinking. I believe most companies made adequate changes to keep the wheels on the bus turning and their businesses moving forward. My company actually closed permanently, but not because we didn’t pivot and change with the circumstances. While I was sad for this to happen, I did not fall into “survival mode”, but instead, I made mindful decisions about my future and changed career course (this time to a new industry).
As I have mentioned in prior articles, I still see a therapist. Some people ask why? Well, because I like working on myself – it is a lifelong project, and I am worth investing in myself. A recent article I read on www.therapyworks.com described “14 Qualities of an Adaptable Person.” I want to share a few of the qualities that resonated with me – you can find a link to the full article below:
- Adaptable people see opportunity where others see failure. I learned to forgive myself for mistakes which has been invaluable.
- Adaptable people think ahead. I write my goals every year. While they may change, I am mindful of my future.
- Adaptable people don’t blame. Change does not happen to me – I make change work for me.
- Adaptable people open their minds. Change is good and I believe that.
- Adaptable people know what they stand for. My beliefs may not be the most popular or in vogue, but I stand firmly by them.
Sources:
As always, I want to thank my wonderful Editor in Chief, Maureen Iglesias, for always making the time for me and giving me nuggets of wisdom.
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HR Executive | Panelist & Keynote Speaker I Author of "HR, Where's Your Freaking Sense of Humor?" I HR Subject Matter Expert
2yJanell Zeug #FreakingFantastic and authentic article!! Love ❤️ your courage.
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2yGreat article Janell Zeug thank you for this!
HSE Manager/Consultant at RPS Energy
2yAlways a great source of reflection for me, your posts-so thank you Janelle and rock on Maureen the meistress of editing and chiefing. Love that!! Found another curve view of the change model that I liked, because in that one the ‘acceptance’ area showed to be a much steeper climb!! I’d have to honestly say I can place myself within every stage at different points, but that’s true of all of us. And I speak to far more than the last few years, with what I reflected on. Believe I spent the least amount of time in denial, truly wish I spent less in frustration and most definitely wish depression would have been a detour to bypass completely. I’m no rocket scientist, and a fairly low altitude professional. Change usually triggers a bit of shock for all of us, I’d guess. But I have found resiliency in a quite broad network of colleagues/friends. Slide yourself in that blended category and accept my thanks for always responding to my queries, Janell. I’m pleased to say, trudging up the ole acceptance curve, I’ve managed to come a long way in restoring both pride and confidence within myself. Personally and professionally. Great post, as always. I rambled, as always!!!
Vice President of Human Resources, North America at SGS
2yThank you Janell for the insight and great reminder of what we have all been going through these past couple of years! I also consider myself highly adaptable but have often found myself stuck due to the stress. Time to revisit the curve, reflect and plan new path forward.