I'm a recovering fixer. As a teen, I was always trying to fix everything for my friends. As an adult, I did the same thing. Then I did it too much. This led me to not only be resentful and exhausted from fixing everyone's crap (especially at work), but it also made it to where I stopped growing. I focused so much on other people getting their shit together, that I wasn't focusing on doing that myself. I was tired of it. So I learned to do two things: *Tune out the drama, your problem isn't my problem. *Say no frequently. This didn't make me an asshole. It helped me focus on what's most important. At the time that was growing in my project management role and figuring out how to be a self-sufficient adult outside of work. Pleasant side effect: When I enforced my own boundaries, it was noticed. I was told that people were asking around about how I was consistently getting promoted. People that sucked away my energy started leaving my circle. And this created more room for me to continue learning who I was and what I wanted. All by dealing with my bullshit and ignoring everyone else's.
Ally Rounsley 🌱’s Post
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It doesn’t look like much now, but one day it will. It will take time, effort, patience, and consistency. Every day it gets a little bigger and bigger. And the further I get, the less I notice the progress I’ve made. One day I’ll miss a stitch and have to frog it all out and fix it. I’ll be frustrated and wanna quit. It’ll be easy to to back burner the big, time consuming project and work on something new, quicker, and easier. Dopamine be like that sometimes. But I’ll keep going, because one day it’ll be finished and I’ll be proud that I stayed committed to finished the hard, big thing. I’m talking about crocheting a king size blanket here, but these lessons apply to the big life and work stuff too. Big amazing things take time, effort, patience, and consistency. Whether it’s crocheting a blanket, building a business, or some other big life goal you have. Know that if you keep going, even when it’s hard, you’ll get there.
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Social media can be finicky. Your feed can turn into a hot mess with a bunch of carefully well-placed pauses in your doom scroll. Instead of being at the mercy of the algorithm to see stuff that matters to you, come hang out with my in my newsletter. I share thoughtful and actionable insights every week with the goal of helping you get your shit together. Let's say NO better. Let's draw and hold better boundaries. Let's consciously choose what we spend our time on. Let's get moving towards the goals we have for ourselves. And let's prioritize joy. Come hang out with me in your inbox every Wednesday, you can sign up with the link in my bio. If you hate it, unsubscribe, but you probably won't.
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I had the honor and privilege to join Cate Blouke, PhD as a guest this week on her podcast, Settling Is Bullshit. We talk about rainbow sheep, building resilience, how you can't un-know the shit you learn from being coached, and how to apply the F*ck around and Find Out (FAFO) mentality to get yourself unstuck and moving forward. We laugh, we swear, we dig a little deeper. Give it a listen and have a blast. And for the love of the stars, connect with this beautiful freaking human, she bad ass. Link to the podcast in the comments!
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Setting goals is stupid. But not in the way you think. We often set goals for ourselves so we have something to strive towards. *Getting a new job. *Buying a house. *Losing 20 pounds. These all sound great, on the surface. So let's dig a little deeper. *Why do you want that new job? *What will having a new house do for you? *What's important about losing weight? All of these surface goals are typically vehicles to a bigger, more profound goal. The one we SHOULD be setting instead. *A new job may mean more money so that you can afford that vacation to see your family. So is the goal the job, or creating more opportunities to see people you love? *Buying a house may allow you the comfort and safety of having a place that's your own. You can get that dog without worrying about a pet deposit or weight limit. So is the goal to have more control and freedom over how and where you live your life? *Losing weight. This is a popular goal to have, but what does losing weight actually get you? Maybe you want more energy to play with your kids. So is your goal to build strength, energy and flexibility in order to play more freely with people you enjoy? The point I'm making here is that we often verbalize goals that are just surface level (at first). We set these tangible goals because it seems like the right thing. But shouldn't the goal be more than surface level? When you're setting goals, ask yourself "What do I really want that this goal can give me?" Dig past the surface level to understand the "why". When you do, you may find yourself changing the vehicle to something more aligned to what your real goal is. ----------------------- Ally here, recovering goal-setter and founder of The GYST - a self-improvement company that helps you get your shit together. DM me here to schedule a free strategy session. If you aren't ready for that, join my free weekly newsletter for a dose of sweary inspiration and helpful actions to get your shit together. Sign up link in bio
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Sometimes you gotta get out there and just do it. You scared? Do it scared. I started a local group for solo business owners because I couldn’t find one I wanted to join in my area. I was like, “am I even qualified to do this?” Well, truth is, it doesn’t even matter. What I found is that there were other people just like me who wanted to be part of a community that understands our unique challenges as solopreneurs. What we created was magic. I now have over 40 people hanging out in my group and a handful at a time meeting up in real life regularly. We talk business, life, purpose, and goals. We’re a community. This is me about to walk up to the coffee shop. The first time was scary. This time, I was excited. But it took doing it scared first to get here. Instead of taking the advice “don’t be afraid”, take this advice: do it afraid. Go kick some ass today my friends. 💛
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What if I make someone mad? What if they don't like it? What if they hate me afterwards? What if I get in trouble? I hear these alllllll the time in my coaching sessions. I've also been a victim of these questions myself. I valued my ability to adapt to my surroundings and the people in them. It's exhausting. We're always so worried about how people will react when we say or do something, that we avoid it all together. We say something else that may be more pleasing. But I'm here to ask you WHO REALLY CARES? Don't stunt your own comfort, happiness, and growth to please people because that's what you think they need. They'll never get to know the real you. Neither will you. So if they don't like it, you've learned that you don't agree on it. And that's ok. You're allowed to have your own values, thoughts, and opinions. The people that appreciate them will stick around. The people that don't can fuck right off. Both of these things are GOOD for you. ----------------------- I'm Ally, recovering adapter and founder of The GYST - A self-improvement company that helps you get your shit together. DM me your favorite song to get a free strategy session to get clarity on how you can get moving. If you aren't ready for that, join my free weekly newsletter for a dose of sweary inspiration and helpful actions to get your shit together. Sign up link in bio.
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Happy Gratituesday! This is your reminder to express what you're grateful for today. Say it out loud Write it on a sticky note for your desk Write it on your bathroom mirror in that lipstick you bought but never wear Make an image of your statement and make it your phone background When we actively choose to think about AND state what we're grateful for, you place a vote towards building your own happiness and inner peace. You have more to be grateful for than you realize, time to put that shit out into the universe.
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Always choose to enjoy the people and places you love. I don’t love to drive. At all. But my sister moved wayyyy out in the boonies and I can definitely be tempted to drive for sister time and the promise of being near chickens and cows. So we made the trip. Played outside. Caught frogs and toads. Got attacked by grasshoppers. Met Margaret, their resident cotton spider. Did some porch sitting. Admired a sunset. And stayed longer than we planned to. Don’t let the things you don’t love keep you from getting to the people you do love. 💛 And the drive wasn’t as bad as I made myself think it would be. 😉
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A smidge of consistency is better than a pile of extreme. Imagine this: You had a huge breakthrough and now you know exactly what to do to achieve your goal. You create a giant list of things you want to do, and you start doing them all right now. What do you think happens there? You don't get through everything you committed to, then you beat yourself up for failing. Then you quit. You can do anything, but not everything all at once. Instead, break it down to smaller things. Celebrate your wins as you complete them. Those little, consistent steps add up. Build your habits a little at a time. 1% more each day is better than 100% today then never again.
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