A team member resists feedback on leadership. How will you navigate this challenge?

Handling a team member who's about as open to leadership feedback as a cat is to bath time? Approach it like coaxing a stubborn feline into a carrier—gentle persistence with a dash of cunning. Share feedback like treats: in small, digestible bites, and always with a soothing tone. Appeal to their curiosity about personal development, and frame feedback as a pathway to mastering their craft. If all else fails, lure them in with the promise of post-feedback snacks. After all, even the most resistant team member can't say no to a cookie and a chance to purrfect their skills.

Before addressing resistance, it's important to understand why a team member is pushing back against feedback. They might feel threatened, misunderstood, or unfairly judged. Engage in a private, empathetic conversation to uncover their concerns. Listen actively without interrupting to build trust and show genuine care for their perspective. By identifying the root cause of their resistance, you can tailor your approach to address their specific issues, helping them become more receptive to feedback. This approach demonstrates effective leadership, fostering a more open and trusting team environment.

One thing I have found helpful is taking a little step back to access the situation. In other time sending another senior team members to have a discuss with the affected team to understand the issues and reservations. Colleagues tend to open up to each other more then to their boss. So the boss must ensure they have an open door policy that encourages feedback

Understanding why is crucial : without making the person wrong. Resistance is a tool for the brain - it is always there for a purpose (whether we judge it right or not, whether we are aware of it or not). Ask open questions with an intention of curiosity (not to fix) so you understand their side of the story without judgement. Ex: Tell me about your view of the situation? What is important to you about this? There is no one-size-fits-all. In my experience, if there is resistance it is rarely a one-off. It may have built over time and therefore, dealing with that resistance can be a process. Understanding the source of the resistance may bring light to where leadership has lost trust, or to any misalignment in communication.

What do you do if your team member disagrees with your feedback? Giving feedback is an art. It takes dedication and knowledge and leaders get better with experience. I like to always point out to the person's strengths, then I'd address a specific concern, and then I'd ask my team member how they interpret my observation. Ideally, you would have set up a tone of caring and collaboration, so your team member won't perceive you as an antagonizing or mean leader but as someone who truly cares and is responsible for the company goals and purpose. In my experience, if someone is extremely resistant at an observation that is right on, there may be additional issues going on including potential psychological or psychiatric issues. Consider these.

Establishing a foundation of trust and respect is crucial for ensuring that feedback is perceived as supportive rather than critical. Regularly acknowledge the team member’s achievements and strengths. For instance, if they’ve successfully led a project, say, "Your leadership in the last project was impressive. You managed the team efficiently and met all the deadlines." This shows that you notice and appreciate their efforts, building trust and respect. Be open about your own areas for improvement. You might say, "I’ve been working on my time management skills, and it's been a learning curve for me." This vulnerability can encourage them to be more open to feedback, showing that everyone, including leaders, is continuously growing.

Building relationships on a foundation of trust and integrity is crucial for any team. As a leader, your ability to influence and lead effectively hinges on the trust your team has in you.

In a leadership coaching session, I advised a manager to spend time getting to know their team on a personal level. Weekly check-ins, casual coffee chats—small actions that built a reservoir of trust. When feedback time came, it was received as guidance, not criticism.

Navigating a team member's resistance to feedback on leadership necessitates building trust through empathetic listening and validation of their concerns. The leader should create a safe space for open dialogue, ensuring the team member feels heard and respected. Demonstrating consistency and reliability in actions and decisions fosters credibility. Offering constructive feedback in a constructive and supportive manner helps alleviate apprehensions. By emphasizing the shared goal of personal and professional growth, the leader can gradually build trust and encourage the team member to be more receptive to feedback on leadership

Drawing in from my stint in Oil and Gas- Dealing with a team member who resists feedback on leadership is like refining crude oil into valuable products. In refining, crude oil undergoes distillation to transform it into fuel. Similarly, when feedback is resisted, one must carefully distill the core issues and apply constructive strategies to address them. By refining the feedback process—breaking it down into manageable, specific insights and presenting it in a supportive, clear manner—you can help your team member understand the benefits and importance of this feedback, ultimately aiding their development into a more effective leader. Just as refined oil powers engines, well-processed feedback can fuel personal and professional growth.

Delivering feedback effectively hinges on how you approach it. Consider your tone, timing, and setting, choose privacy and clarity. Focus on behaviors, not personalities, using "I" statements like "I've noticed interruptions hinder communication" rather than accusatory language. This approach fosters openness and avoids defensiveness, ensuring feedback leads to constructive discussions.

Instead of giving feedback on the spot, schedule a dedicated time for a private meeting. You might say, "Can we set aside some time tomorrow to discuss your recent project? I’d like to go over a few things with you." This shows that you respect their time and the importance of the conversation. Begin the conversation with positive remarks to set a constructive tone. For example, "I really appreciate how dedicated you are to your work. There are a few areas where I think you could grow even further, and I’d love to discuss those with you." Starting on a positive note helps to reduce defensiveness and opens them up to the feedback that follows.

Instead of saying, “You’re always late,” try “I’ve noticed you’ve been late to the last three meetings. Is there something we can adjust in your schedule to help you be on time?” This approach is kinder and more solution-oriented.

One effective strategy is to focus on specific, observable behaviors rather than making broad, subjective judgments. For example, instead of saying "You're not a very good communicator," you could say "I've noticed that you haven't been providing regular updates to the team, and that's making it difficult for us to stay aligned." This helps the recipient understand the impact of their actions without feeling personally attacked.

In a performance review, I asked a resistant team member to self-assess before giving my feedback. This exercise made them more open to the conversation and more receptive to the feedback I provided. So, ask guiding questions that prompt self-assessment. “What do you think went well?” “What could have been done differently?” This encourages ownership and personal growth.

Encourage team members to engage in introspection by posing thoughtful questions that prompt them to evaluate their actions and leadership strategies. By inviting them to consider how their decisions influence team dynamics and outcomes, you empower them to recognize areas for personal and professional development. This process fosters a proactive mindset towards feedback, enhancing their ability to grow and lead effectively.

The key is to guide the leader towards their own insights and realizations, rather than dictating what they should do differently. This helps build self-awareness and a genuine desire for change, rather than a sense of being criticized or forced to change. By fostering this kind of self-reflective mindset, you're more likely to overcome the initial resistance and pave the way for meaningful, sustainable improvements in the leader's approach. It may take time and patience, but the payoff is a team that's more receptive to feedback and committed to collective growth and success.

Empowerment, Not Dictation: Instead of telling them what to do, ask open-ended questions that encourage self-reflection. Help them discover their own solutions and take ownership of their development. A Powerful Question: One of my favorite questions is, "What do you think would happen if you tried [specific behavior]?" This invites them to consider the potential impact of their actions and empowers them to make their own choices.

Self- reflection is the mirror through which we can view our achievements, understand our challenges, and chart a course for future growth. In the hustle of day-to-day tasks, it's easy to lose sight of the bigger picture. Self-reflection unlocks empowerment as it allows us to ask the important questions: Where have I excelled? Where can I improve? What are my goals? By reflecting on these questions, we take the driver's seat in our professional journey.

After identifying areas for improvement, I worked with a team member to create a development plan that included mentorship and training sessions. This support boosted their confidence and performance, making future feedback less intimidating.

When a team is resistant to feedback on leadership, it's important to remember that change can be challenging, even for the most experienced leaders. Rather than simply pushing for feedback or demanding immediate improvements, a more effective approach is to offer support and guidance to the leader. Start by having an open and empathetic conversation with the leader, acknowledging the difficulty of the situation and expressing your desire to help them succeed.

More Than a Critic: Show that you're invested in their success. Offer resources, coaching, or mentorship to help them develop their leadership skills. My Experience: I've found that pairing resistant team members with a mentor or peer coach can be incredibly effective. It provides a safe space for them to explore their challenges and develop new strategies.

Navigating a team member's resistance to feedback on leadership requires offering supportive guidance. The leader should express genuine interest in the team member's growth and success, emphasizing that feedback is intended to help them excel. Providing constructive criticism in a private setting ensures confidentiality and trust. Offering to work collaboratively on an improvement plan demonstrates commitment to their development. Encouraging regular check-ins and mentoring opportunities helps build a supportive relationship. By fostering a culture of continuous learning and support, the leader can navigate this challenge effectively while promoting leadership growth

Remember to support your team members when giving feedback. Start by discussing improvement strategies and offer resources like training, mentoring, or leadership reading materials. Let them know you're there to help them succeed and genuinely believe in their potential. Regular check-ins to discuss their progress can provide encouragement and accountability. This makes the feedback process feel like a joint effort rather than just criticism. By offering support, you're not only giving feedback, but also providing insight, adding value, and enhancing psychological safety, which helps them grow as leaders.

Navigating a team member's resistance to feedback on leadership requires the leader to demonstrate commitment and seriousness towards the feedback process. They should schedule dedicated time to discuss feedback in a private and respectful manner. Actively listening to the team member's concerns and perspectives without interrupting builds trust and shows genuine interest in their growth. The leader should provide specific examples and actionable steps for improvement, showing they value the team member's development. Following up on agreed-upon actions and providing ongoing support and encouragement ensures accountability and reinforces the importance of feedback in leadership growth.

This happens - right? Sometimes feedback can be tough. As always, stay calm, stay objective, stauy curious. Approach the situation without taking it personally. Ask WHY they feel differently. Listen to the team member's concerns with curiosity Often it can help to explain why the feedback is crucial for their development, the team's success, and the overall organization--remind them it's coming from a place of genuine support and that leaders really need a growth mindset. Providing two-way dialogue makes it feel more like a conversation and providing specific examples can help to illustrate the points in your feedback, making it more relatable and actionable.

Remember that open and honest communication is key. Address concerns, involve the team in the process, and empower them to take ownership of change. Additionally, choose a private and comfortable setting for feedback discussions to avoid public embarrassment. Keep practicing patience and persistence, and over time, you may see positive shifts in your team’s receptiveness to feedback.

Sometimes resistance is natural. But, it's important to know the reasons behind that. As I said, Feedback is important. Once all the reasons are known, then we can focus on improvisation and taking actions.

Ask Open-Ended Questions. Encourage the team member to share their thoughts and concerns about the feedback, and actively listen to their responses. Ask questions like 'What are your concerns about the feedback?' or 'How do you think we can improve our leadership approach?' This helps to create a safe space for dialogue, builds trust, and can help the team member to see the value in the feedback and take ownership of their growth.

1. Solicit feedback for yourself. As a leader, seek feedback on your own communication challenges. By modeling openness to feedback, you encourage the same behavior in your team members. 2. Share a story of your growth. Relate a personal experience when you struggled with receiving feedback and what you learned from it. This vulnerability can create a more open dialogue. 3. Set a goal. Ask the employee for a specific way they can change their behavior when receiving feedback. Agree on a goal together, and afterward, celebrate any improvements you observe.

Strategy to follow: Prepare: Gather specific examples of the behavior you want to address. Plan the conversation with a focus on positive outcomes. Set the Tone: Begin with a positive note, acknowledging the team member's strengths and contributions to create a supportive atmosphere. Be Specific: Use clear, concrete examples of the behavior that needs improvement. Listen Actively: Give the team member a chance to share their perspective. Collaborate on Solutions: Discuss possible strategies for improvement together. Encourage the team member to suggest their own solutions, fostering a sense of ownership. Follow-Up: Schedule a follow-up meeting to review progress and provide ongoing support.