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Returns
Eligible for Return, Refund or Replacement within 30 days of receipt
Returnable Yes
Resolutions Eligible for refund or replacement
Return Window 30 days from delivery
Refund Timelines Typically, an advance refund will be issued within 24 hours of a drop-off or pick-up. For returns that require physical verification, refund issuance may take up to 30 days after drop-off or pick up. Where an advance refund is issued, we will re-charge your payment method if we do not receive the correct item in original condition. See details here.
Late fee A late fee of 20% of the item price will apply if you complete the drop off or pick up after the ‘Return By Date’.
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Matt Bays
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Leather & Lace: A Gay Man, Lost Love, and a Road Trip With His Dead Sister Paperback – July 27, 2021

by Matt Bays (Author), Laura Parrott Perry (Foreword)
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“I needed to find the gay boy, teenager, college student, and man I had always been, but didn’t know how to be.”

On the day of his sister’s funeral, while standing alone at her grave, Matt Bays tells the truth for the very first time; that he is gay. At forty-six years old, and with a highly religious worldview, Matt sets out on a powerful journey to grapple with this new reality and find the part of himself that was buried in his youth.

Together, Bays and his dead sister take to the open road, listening to ‘80s music and lying under the stars at the Grand Canyon. Her prevailing love had once given him the courage to come out. And now, after the heartbreaking end of a relationship he thought would go the distance, he is searching for her guidance once again.

In Leather & Lace, you’ll be taken into the harrowing past of a young gay boy, ride shotgun to his hilarious first attempts at hookup apps, meet The Ambassador of Scruff, fall in love with the undeniably beautiful Oh Henry, and rediscover the hope of finding an authentic and meaningful love connection.

Much more than just another road trip memoir, this heartwarming story of love, loss, and redemption will strike at the part of you that longs to be loved exactly as you are…if only by yourself.

What people are saying about Leather and Lace:

“There are writers who are deep, writers who are brutally gritty, and writers who can have you rolling on the floor laughing, but rarely do you find all those qualities in one writer and in one book.—Jessica Kantrowitz, author of The Long Night and 365 Days of Peace

“Matt Bays is a reliable guide on this hilarious, poignant travelogue through grief, joy and redemption.”—Matt Nightingale, co-pastor of The Quest, spiritual director with The Christian Closet, founder of Common Sanctuary and TEDx speaker.

“This is a love story to so many who have forgotten how to be human.”—Tetyana Denford, author of Conversation With Grief

“A full-throated song of life and love, pain, and self-discovery.—Alicia B. Bridgeland, PsyD Clinical Psychologist

“Matt Bays lives by an entirely different mantra, one marked by a tender softness that has rendered him slightly ragged but utterly whole.”—Steve Wiens, pastor and author of Beginnings, Whole and Shining Like the Sun

“Like all good road trips, ultimately the route this story takes leads Matt back home. In this case, home to himself.”—Laura Parrott Perry, author of She Wrote it Down: How a Secret Keeper Became a Storyteller, Co-founder and CEO of Say It, Survivor
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  1. Print length
    248 pages
  2. Language
    English
  3. Publication date
    July 27, 2021
  4. Dimensions
    5.5 x 0.62 x 8.5 inches
  5. ISBN-13
    979-8537692812
  6. See all details
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The Amazon Book Review
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Book recommendations, author interviews, editors' picks, and more. Read it now.

Product details

  • ASIN ‏ : ‎ B09B7VW3VD
  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Independently published (July 27, 2021)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 248 pages
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 979-8537692812
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 11.3 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 0.62 x 8.5 inches
  • Customer Reviews:

About the author

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Matt Bays

Matt Bays

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In the tradition of Anne Lamott, Donald Miller, and Glennon Doyle, comes the fresh voice of Matt Bays, offering hope to those who have experienced deep loss or pain as well as those who crave more than trite answers about life, God, suffering, and sexuality.

Bays' books were birthed from his own deep struggles in a dysfunctional home, dysfunctional church, and decades of hiding his sexuality. With wisdom, personal transparency, and unforgettable stories, he shows that true redemption comes through living authentically and doing the work to recover.

Matt Bays is a writer, speaker, and life coach with a passion to call people out of their hiding places; calling forth others' stories is the hallmark of his spiritual vocation and purpose. Matt has two incredible daughters, two amazing bonus sons, and lives with his husband, Chris, in Cincinnati, Ohio.

Customer reviews

5 out of 5 stars
5 out of 5
44 global ratings

Customers say

Customers say the book takes them on an emotional journey, and is wonderful. They also find the content unflinchingly honest and funny. Readers love the writing style, candor, and authenticity.

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Emotional storylineContentHumorWriting style
8 customers mention "Emotional storyline"8 positive0 negative

Customers find the emotional storyline compelling, warm, candid, and full of love. They also describe the book as wonderful and easy to read.

"...Profound, hilarious, heart-breaking, and heart-healing. And the writing is just incredibly paced and lyrical." Read more

"This is a wonderful book. Both easy and painful to read. You will be laughing and crying. I couldn’t put it down...." Read more

"...It's an eco-system of grief, love, loss, and laughter.I recommend this book to anyone with a heart...." Read more

"Raw emotional and full of love. This book pulls you in and leaves you with such emotion that you feel that you are in the book alongside the author ...." Read more

5 customers mention "Content"5 positive0 negative

Customers find the book unflinchingly honest and funny. They also appreciate the author's storytelling as honest, gentle, and beautiful.

"...Matt Bays tells his story with humor, honesty, and most of all a deep compassion for his younger self and all in he LGBTQIA community...." Read more

"...Brave. Honest. Raw. Spiritual. Funny. BUY IT!" Read more

"...I finished reading it this morning. Love your writing, your candor, your authenticity. And learned about owning and the transferability of love...." Read more

"...This book is unflinchingly honest and funny as hell. Get ready to ride shotgun on a journey of grief, self-discovery, and love." Read more

4 customers mention "Humor"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the humor in the book unflinchingly honest and funny as hell.

"This is the best book I’ve read all year. Matt Bays tells his story with humor, honesty, and most of all a deep compassion for his younger self and..." Read more

"...Brave. Honest. Raw. Spiritual. Funny. BUY IT!" Read more

"...This book is unflinchingly honest and funny as hell. Get ready to ride shotgun on a journey of grief, self-discovery, and love." Read more

"...This is a book that makes you laugh out loud and, on the very next page, you will grieve with him in the loss of his sister...." Read more

3 customers mention "Writing style"3 positive0 negative

Customers appreciate the candor and authenticity of the writing style.

"...And the writing is just incredibly paced and lyrical." Read more

"...I finished reading it this morning. Love your writing, your candor, your authenticity. And learned about owning and the transferability of love...." Read more

"Matt Bays writes with authenticity and realness that makes one unable to put this book down...." Read more

This Book Will Touch Every Emotion
5 out of 5 stars
This Book Will Touch Every Emotion
This is not just a coming-out story. This is the life of a man who has seen and felt some of the most painful experiences life can serve up, written with a magic that reflects the humanity in us all. It's an eco-system of grief, love, loss, and laughter.I recommend this book to anyone with a heart. It will make it race and break and mend and sing. Buy two. Or three. You'll be giving them as gifts because that's just what it is. A gift.
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Top reviews from the United States

Jessica Kantrowitz
5.0 out of 5 stars A heartbreaking and heart-healing tale of coming out
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
This is the best book I’ve read all year. Matt Bays tells his story with humor, honesty, and most of all a deep compassion for his younger self and all in he LGBTQIA community. Profound, hilarious, heart-breaking, and heart-healing. And the writing is just incredibly paced and lyrical.
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Jessica Kantrowitz
5.0 out of 5 stars A heartbreaking and heart-healing tale of coming out
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021
This is the best book I’ve read all year. Matt Bays tells his story with humor, honesty, and most of all a deep compassion for his younger self and all in he LGBTQIA community. Profound, hilarious, heart-breaking, and heart-healing. And the writing is just incredibly paced and lyrical.
Images in this review
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3 people found this helpful
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Barbara Wood Carroll
5.0 out of 5 stars Moving story about how to be more authentically human.
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
This is a wonderful book. Both easy and painful to read. You will be laughing and crying. I couldn’t put it down. It’s a story about Matt Bays, his beloved sister Trina and getting comfortable with who he is in this moment. And who he has always been. It’s about coming out but more than that it’s a story of all the pain, the joys, the loss and the wonderment about being ones authentic self. Brave. Honest. Raw. Spiritual. Funny. BUY IT!
6 people found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars Warm, candid, and full of love
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
Mine automatically downloaded yesterday based on my pre-order. I finished reading it this morning. Love your writing, your candor, your authenticity. And learned about owning and the transferability of love. Thank you, Matt, for all of that. (We met when you were in Godspell. I was with my kids in the front row and completely taken with your performance. You have such talent for so many kinds of storytelling. And the way you do it envelops others in love.)❤️❤️❤️
7 people found this helpful
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kmap
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Will Touch Every Emotion
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021
Verified Purchase
This is not just a coming-out story. This is the life of a man who has seen and felt some of the most painful experiences life can serve up, written with a magic that reflects the humanity in us all. It's an eco-system of grief, love, loss, and laughter.
I recommend this book to anyone with a heart. It will make it race and break and mend and sing. Buy two. Or three. You'll be giving them as gifts because that's just what it is. A gift.
Customer image
kmap
5.0 out of 5 stars This Book Will Touch Every Emotion
Reviewed in the United States on August 2, 2021
This is not just a coming-out story. This is the life of a man who has seen and felt some of the most painful experiences life can serve up, written with a magic that reflects the humanity in us all. It's an eco-system of grief, love, loss, and laughter.
I recommend this book to anyone with a heart. It will make it race and break and mend and sing. Buy two. Or three. You'll be giving them as gifts because that's just what it is. A gift.
Images in this review
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7 people found this helpful
Helpful
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Laura Parrott Perry
5.0 out of 5 stars Brave and hilarious and fully human
Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2021
Verified Purchase
At first glance, the narrative of this memoir might seem highly specific. Man loses sister, comes out at the age of 46, falls in love, relationship ends, goes on road trip during a pandemic to find himself with his dead sister as his companion and guide. Like all brilliant writing, though, the more specific the details the more universal the story. We have all had a moment when we realized we were not living fully authentic lives. We have all experienced loss and grief. We have all been unsure of the ground beneath our feet. We have all felt hopelessly lost.

Matt's particular gift is, as he puts it, 'calling people out of their hiding places.' When someone makes the decision to be this honest and vulnerable it creates a space for others to do the same. This book is unflinchingly honest and funny as hell. Get ready to ride shotgun on a journey of grief, self-discovery, and love.
One person found this helpful
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Amazon Customer
5.0 out of 5 stars More Than a Coming Out Story
Reviewed in the United States on August 3, 2021
Verified Purchase
Matt Bays writes with authenticity and realness that makes one unable to put this book down. This is a book that makes you laugh out loud and, on the very next page, you will grieve with him in the loss of his sister. Yes, it is a coming-out story, but it is more than that. It is a story about pain, loss, and finding love in the midst of it all. In a time of deep uncertainty, this book helps you to see that everything is going to be okay, we will get through it. Yes, life is painful at times, but if we listen close enough we will learn something about the world and most importantly about ourselves along the way. This is a book for everyone because it is about the human experience, about love, loss, and yet through it all hope.
6 people found this helpful
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T.C.
5.0 out of 5 stars Prepare for your soul to be taken
Reviewed in the United States on January 13, 2022
Verified Purchase
Raw emotional and full of love. This book pulls you in and leaves you with such emotion that you feel that you are in the book alongside the author . That each word is a breath that you breathe in .
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Julie L
5.0 out of 5 stars "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2021
Verified Purchase
Highly recommend; Matt Bays' storytelling is honest, gentle, beautiful and compelling.
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Julie L
5.0 out of 5 stars "Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion."
Reviewed in the United States on August 8, 2021
Highly recommend; Matt Bays' storytelling is honest, gentle, beautiful and compelling.
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