If your coworkers do not tell you that your hair is messed up, could this be a sign that they do not like you?

Question

Over the years, there were times when it was very windy out and when I walked into my workplace from the parking lot, my hair was very messed up, such that my hair was pointed in different directions or some of it was standing straight up. The people I worked with in the past told me whenever my hair was a mess and then I had quickly combed it to make it look neat again.

I am usually very good at remembering to pat my hair down right after coming inside my workplace on windy days and I will also look for a mirror to make sure that my hair looks good, if not, I take out my comb and comb it back into place. Yet, there have been times when I just completely forgot to check on my hair after entering the workplace.

I have begun to notice over the past year, that on very windy days, that none of my current coworkers will tell me if my hair is a mess when I come into the workplace in the morning or when we all return to the workplace after traveling somewhere for lunch.

I do not find out that it is a mess until I have to use the restroom and then I see in the mirror that it is a mess and then I feel like a complete fool for having walked around the workplace for X amount of time with messy hair. In contrast, I have often told my current coworker(s) whenever their hair is a mess so that they can quickly comb/brush it back into place and thus won't suffer any embarrassment. I want to point out that I am a man and that most of my coworkers are men.

This is making me wonder if some or all of my coworkers may actually want me to look bad because perhaps they may no longer like me and want me to look like a fool in front of our manager or in front of customers who come into our workplace, yet perhaps it may be that they think that I actually want to walk around with messy hair so they choose not to say anything to me about it.

If your coworkers do not tell you that your hair is messed up, could this be a sign that they do not like you?

EDIT

I just want to point out that I know that a coworker does not have any duty or responsibility to make you aware of an issue with your physical appearance, however if they truly like you and consider you a friend and not just a coworker, they will most likely tell you about it so you will not suffer any potential embarrassment within the workplace.

Answer 1

If your coworkers do not tell you that your hair is messed up, could this be a sign that they do not like you?

Maybe, they are afraid that if they tell you so, it may hurt your feeling.

Or, they may be too busy with their current tasks and do not look at your hair. Or, they do not think that your hair looks that bad. Or, they assume that you already notice it, and you would comb your hair really soon.

Unless they are you close friends, they would be hesitant to tell you that your hair looks bad because that seems to be a little personal.

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To get their help, you can tell them that you would appreciate it if they can tell you when your hair looks bad.

Maybe, that will make them more confident in helping you keeping up a nice and professional appearance in the workplace.

Answer 2

You seem to be overthinking this

Most likely they either don’t notice, think that it’s none of their business or assume you don’t care/have it this way on purpose.

Not to mention that telling someone with whom you’re not already good friends “your hair is messed up” can easily be construed as rude and offend them so it’s not something many people will do.

Answer 3

I agree with job_september_2020 and upvoted his/her answer. Let me just add a couple of thoughts:

Yes, someone might not tell you that your hair looks bad because they don't care about you. Or they think it's funny and they are laughing at you behind your back. But there are many other possible reasons.

They might assume that you already know, that you attempted to fix it and couldn't get it right, and so pointing it out would just be rude.

They might assume you don't care and so why bring it up? If you don't care what your hair looks like, and they tell you it's unattractive, you might get mad at them.

They might think it's none of their business.

In the 21st century, men are reluctant to make any sort of comment about a woman's appearance in the office for fear that he will be accused of sexual harassment. Men have lost their jobs for making remarks that they saw as simply being polite and friendly. As a man, I NEVER comment on the appearance of a woman in the office, positive or negative.

Answer 4

Rather than putting any of the responsibility of tending to your hair in the lap of third people, it would make 10000% more sense for you to either buy a small mirror to keep at your desk or workstation, or to make sure to stop in the restroom when you walk into the workplace.

It's not your coworkers' responsibility to tell you if your hair is a mess. It's a nice thing if they do, but they aren't required to do so. On that basis, you are wasting your mental and emotional energy if you choose to wonder why they don't do something that they aren't required to do, and if they like you, and so forth. You are creating whole dramas in your head, and it's really not necessary.

Use a mirror.