At the moment I (F) have a colleague (M) that works now for 5 months at my workplace.
At the beginning naturally like everyone else you don't know someone yet and need time to get to know one another. I am now at the stage that I concluded that his behaviour is somewhat different and it looks to me he has autistic or narcissistic traits. I am confused and I am not sure how to proceed further.
Professionally, I am very irritated by his behaviour and what he says.
My colleague tends to talk very loudly and he tends to tell the same story repeatedly to different colleagues. I listened three times to his story for roughly one hour each and consequently I was then late at home. That's on me. The weird thing that puzzled me at the beginning is that he always comes to me or another colleague whenever he needs to vent or complain, but besides that he just ignores me like I don't exist which I found weird and not respectful at the beginning, but now it's a blessing. He also says sometimes demeaning things to me and also looks somehow down on my one other female colleague. So, I also get the feeling that he might me a bit misogynistic.
Personally, the issue is he said and did some stuff to me which I found very uncomfortable, and I am now ignoring him. I am not sure whether his behaviour is due to his autism or maybe it's something else. However, I don't feel safe with him.
He always seems fixated on me, since I feel his stares sometimes on me and I feel super uncomfortable with that. He also did once a weird thing. We had a standup meeting in a big room. I felt his clothes touching my back, so I shifted my body away from him, but then he moved to me once again. The same cycle repeated 4 or 5 times and I just kinda gave up.
I felt super uncomfortable by that and I was wondering whether it's due his autism or whether it was sexual harassment.
I don't want to accuse him yet, since he might be just oblivious, but to me it felt super uncomfortable. Apparently another time I was with him and a few other colleagues, he made some jokes which could be interpreted as sexual harassment, but since he doesn't quite read the social cues, it might have been just to make himself funny which wasn't a successful attempt. My other colleague who was also there told me that he found the remarks of my assumingly autistic colleague weird and inappropriate.
I am now thus a stage that I am ignoring him and I only meet with him when there are other colleagues around.
I am wondering whether there are other things I can do, since I always get a dreading and unsafe feeling when I hear or see him.
Edit: it feels weird and invalidating to see that I get attacked for asking this question from some people. For me it feels a bit like victimblaming which doesn't really help and only maks me feel bad for asking this question.
The rest I want to thank and I will be trying to be direct and clear in my communication. In case he goes further, I will go to HR.