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Christos Hayward
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You have presumably had many wonderful things that have happened during your life. It may be awfully hard to remember pleasant memories when you're feeling miserable (a cruel trick of memory), but you have had good things happen, positive people to deal with, surprise gifts, and people who have given you good memories. I would encourage you to write down explicitly the good things that have happened for your life, the people who have cared for you, gentle surprises from friends and loved ones, all of your reasons for living.I would encourage you to write down explicitly the good things that have happened for your life, the people who have cared for you, gentle surprises from friends and loved ones, all of your reasons for living. Go back to it. If you use a word processor, you might go back and add more detail when things start coming back to you. There is no cure-all, but being uncomfortable and trying to remember your very most comfortable lifelong memories is less heavy of a burden than just being sexually uncomfortable and not really having anything else competing with pain for your mindshare.

You have presumably had many wonderful things that have happened during your life. It may be awfully hard to remember pleasant memories when you're feeling miserable (a cruel trick of memory), but you have had good things happen, positive people to deal with, surprise gifts, and people who have given you good memories. I would encourage you to write down explicitly the good things that have happened for your life, the people who have cared for you, gentle surprises from friends and loved ones, all of your reasons for living. Go back to it. If you use a word processor, you might go back and add more detail when things start coming back to you. There is no cure-all, but being uncomfortable and trying to remember your very most comfortable lifelong memories is less heavy of a burden than just being sexually uncomfortable and not really having anything else competing with pain for your mindshare.

You have presumably had many wonderful things that have happened during your life. It may be awfully hard to remember pleasant memories when you're feeling miserable (a cruel trick of memory), but you have had good things happen, positive people to deal with, surprise gifts, and people who have given you good memories. I would encourage you to write down explicitly the good things that have happened for your life, the people who have cared for you, gentle surprises from friends and loved ones, all of your reasons for living. Go back to it. If you use a word processor, you might go back and add more detail when things start coming back to you. There is no cure-all, but being uncomfortable and trying to remember your very most comfortable lifelong memories is less heavy of a burden than just being sexually uncomfortable and not really having anything else competing with pain for your mindshare.

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Christos Hayward
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Take care of yourself!

Other people have talked about logistics (i.e. not being alone at work and being with friends after work), legal implications (I agree that you should consult a lawyer, and if you contact me with your jurisdiction on my website, I can ask a couple of lawyers I know for a referral), and involving the police (I agree there too).

But there's something this thread is missing.

You are probably going through the greatest suffering you've experienced in your life, and you should act and take measures accordingly.

This means finding a therapist (https://therapists.psychologytoday.com/rms is one resource; also see http://locator.apa.org/) and probably a psychiatrist. You've suffered many deep wounds, and a good therapist with a good psychiatrist can support you as you heal.

Are you eating right? Drinking lots of water? Exercising? Sleeping neither too much nor too little? Enjoying nature? If you go out to exercise it should be in the company of friends for safety (for now), but the times when you may hurt enough that you don't feel like getting out of bed may be the times when you need exercise the most.

You can feel better, even if it's not overnight. I believe after some inappropriate experience that it is possible to heal and your feelings when you are "in crisis" (as psychologists say) do not need to be how you feel for the rest of your life.

Your friends can help!

I would lean on your friends as much as you can, but would add one note, especially with guys: one friend mentioned sexual abuse and said she was sometimes regretful of telling guys, not because it was too much to tell, but because they are sometimes afraid to touch her after hearing that. Different people have different experiences at different times; you may want a specifically female (literal) shoulder to cry on, or you may be sexually uncomfortable talking to a friend on the other side of a room not because of anything about the friend but because with your experiences you are simply sexually uncomfortable all the time no matter how they support you; one (attempted) rape survivor I knew was tremendously helped by many hugs from people she trusted, both male and female. In all of these things, trust your gut.

You know most likely what you want and need in terms of physical affection from friends, and you owe it to yourself to ask your friends explicitly, whether that's "I'd rather not even shake hands now," or "I really need a hug," or both "I'd rather not shake hands" to one friend and "I really need a hug" to another friend, or at another time. Or visit a friend with a sweet cat, and ask not to be touched but cry on the cat's shoulder. Some pets are good at that (humane shelters usually welcome people spending a little time with sweet pets even when they know you're not looking to adopt). Explicitly ask for what you want and need.

Get absorbed: Don't be alone with your pain.

This advice may or may not work for you, but try not to be alone physically unless you are in your locked home, and try not to be alone mentally with your pain. If I may hawk my own wares as an author, The Sign of the Grail (Kindle) (bookshelf) is one of several works that's gotten comments like "Rivited." [Spelling original.] Or do you have favorite movies? A favorite Youtube channel? Do you enjoy exploring Wikipedia?

You have presumably had many wonderful things that have happened during your life. It may be awfully hard to remember pleasant memories when you're feeling miserable (a cruel trick of memory), but you have had good things happen, positive people to deal with, surprise gifts, and people who have given you good memories. I would encourage you to write down explicitly the good things that have happened for your life, the people who have cared for you, gentle surprises from friends and loved ones, all of your reasons for living. Go back to it. If you use a word processor, you might go back and add more detail when things start coming back to you. There is no cure-all, but being uncomfortable and trying to remember your very most comfortable lifelong memories is less heavy of a burden than just being sexually uncomfortable and not really having anything else competing with pain for your mindshare.

One last note.

I am one of many people praying for your every well-being.