Timeline for My boss' new hire, a friend of his, is making advances on me
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
18 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Mar 20, 2017 at 20:26 | comment | added | Chris | @Nobody: Yes, touching a stranger is different, but at the workplace patting someone on the back (or shoulder) or touching the arm to take someone aside isn't taken as offense. But we're getting into details, that's why I said it could be a cultural thing. | |
| Mar 19, 2017 at 22:22 | comment | added | Buttle Butkus | Start recording before he approaches. When he arrives, tell him "By talking to me right now you are consenting to being recorded. Otherwise, leave." In California, recording a conversation when the other party has a "reasonable expectation of privacy" is illegal. Recording in public or when there are lots of people around is not. But even so, there are countless examples in the media of "illegal" recording being released that show bad behavior (e.g. Don Sterling's racist comments forcing him to sell his team). It's also legal to do a private recording to protect yourself from extortion. | |
| Mar 18, 2017 at 16:48 | comment | added | Nobody | @Shane And? First, kissing wasn't the topic. Second, kissing being a normal greeting doesn't make it something you can do without permission, just as you don't grab someones hand and shake it against their will (even more so). | |
| Mar 17, 2017 at 14:57 | comment | added | Shane | @Nobody In some portions of Europe, strangers and acquaintances don't shake hands, they kiss each other's cheeks. | |
| Mar 16, 2017 at 13:04 | comment | added | einpoklum | +1 for the suggestion to write down and log everything. It's important even for complaining to the boss / to HR - makes it much more difficult to brush off. | |
| Mar 15, 2017 at 0:01 | comment | added | Bradd Szonye | dmlp.org/legal-guide/california-recording-law | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 22:46 | comment | added | TessellatingHeckler | And if you live in a location where it's legal to do so, record. - what if it's not legal? I'd be very tempted to put a cameraphone in the corner of the kitchen regardless. Seems much better to have an illegal recording if something goes down (like a physical shove) and he denies it, a recording which you could optionally ignore or delete - than have no recording and him deny it. Right? Or if you want a friendly coworker to back you up, show them the recording, they are unlikely to cause a fuss over the legality of the recording. Could that go badly wrong? | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 19:27 | comment | added | Francine DeGrood Taylor | I would definitely get some sort of legal advice or consult an organization that help victims of sexual harassment. Even if your boss tells this guy to cool it, it may come down to which of the two of you your company values more. He's the boss' buddy. You need to protect yourself. If you don't have a clear record of his offenses and they let you go for some bogus reason you have no way to protect yourself. It's your word against theirs. It might not come to that, but better to anticipate and prepare for the worst. Having previously reported this is your insurance policy. | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 17:04 | comment | added | Loren Pechtel | @SnoringFrog Yeah--but the location wasn't specified when I mentioned recording. | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 14:03 | comment | added | SnoringFrog | @LorenPechtel I believe recording in CA requires the consent of all the parties involved for it to be legal | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 11:58 | comment | added | Nobody | @Chris It is in the parts of Europe I know. You don't touch anyone at all unless you are sure you have their (potentially implicit) permission. It's unambiguously wrong unless there are special circumstances like tapping someone on the shoulder if there is no other way to get their attention and there is a good reason you need their attention (say, on a train, controlling the ticket of a person sleeping with headphones). | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 9:23 | comment | added | Matthieu M. | *The company is a small start-up in California. My boss is the CEO. * => I am afraid there is not much HR to have in this specific case :( | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 8:50 | comment | added | Chris | @djechlin: Maybe it's a cultural thing, at least in Europe touching an arm or shoulder isn't "unambiguous wrong". | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 8:34 | comment | added | Magisch | @djechlin Assuming this is a startup, HR or the CEO may deem it more efficient to blackball OP out of the company rather then get rid of the CEO's friend. | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 3:50 | comment | added | Halfway Dillitante | Agreed. Whether the OP intends to take legal action or not, having the records will serve as leverage during mediation or settlement negotiations. | |
| Mar 14, 2017 at 1:54 | comment | added | Loren Pechtel | And if you live in a location where it's legal to do so, record. | |
| Mar 13, 2017 at 22:54 | comment | added | user42272 | I think the "luck" the OP has (if you can call it that) is he is committing unambiguous wrong acts (e.g. touch). Several days' worth of documentation should be enough for a fleshed out case to HR... who hopefully is committed to dealing with this effectively. | |
| Mar 13, 2017 at 22:41 | history | answered | Stian | CC BY-SA 3.0 |