Timeline for Politely declining business trip for family reasons
Current License: CC BY-SA 3.0
13 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Dec 19, 2016 at 1:19 | comment | added | TonyK | @JackAidley: You seem to be missing the point. The boss is not legally allowed to force you to go on the trip; the question is whether a typical boss will think worse of you if you decline the offer. And in the real world, yes, many bosses will think worse of you. It is not illegal for a boss to have a bad opinion of an employee. | |
| Dec 18, 2016 at 21:17 | history | edited | Kate Gregory | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
I misremembered the other parent's circumstances
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| Dec 18, 2016 at 9:00 | comment | added | Jack Aidley | @LightnessRacesinOrbit: I've not suggested stamping your feet - hence why I'm commenting on this question that you objected to - I do think that you should treat any instruction your boss is not legally entitled to give as not an instruction. | |
| Dec 17, 2016 at 14:16 | comment | added | Lightness Races in Orbit | @reirab: That does sound better | |
| Dec 17, 2016 at 6:34 | comment | added | reirab | @Lightness I get what you're saying, but I don't think showing some appreciation for the opportunity is a bad thing, particularly if it was for a training session like in Kate's example. Personally, I genuinely appreciate someone else paying me to learn new skills; it's a win for both parties. As far as the response, though, maybe something more along these lines would be better: "I appreciate the opportunity for the training in x, but due to y issue, the scheduling is not good for me to travel at that time. Could we arrange to do z that would help me learn x instead?" | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 16:03 | comment | added | Lightness Races in Orbit | @JackAidley: You really should read Kate's answer. Philip's too, actually. You are factually correct, but the answer to the OP's question is that, yes, such an attitude will come off as "bad". There are far more diplomatic and professional ways to respond to the request, and those ways will be far more beneficial to your career prospects and social standing, than going around stomping your feet screaming "you can't make me!" | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 15:59 | comment | added | Jack Aidley | @LightnessRacesinOrbit: I disagree. This is not a request from the asker, it is a statement of fact: he will be exercising his legal right not to travel. The boss does not have the right to make the instruction and so should not be treated like they do. | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 15:56 | comment | added | Lightness Races in Orbit | @JackAidley: I realise that. But as this very answer explains, you shouldn't let this fact change how you go about declining to attend. So, once you abstract that factor away, you're left with how you'd usually talk to your boss. | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 15:30 | comment | added | Jack Aidley | @LightnessRacesinOrbit: Although in this case (as per first paragraph of the question) it is not an instruction that the boss is legally allowed to make. | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 14:46 | comment | added | Lightness Races in Orbit | Regarding the last paragraph, it sounds good on paper from our standpoint, but if I am the boss and for whatever reason I am expecting my staff to do something, them making it out like it was a kind offer that they are declining as if they'd been handed a leaflet on the street, will not make me happy. It's putting me on the spot to somehow politely reinforce that, although yes okay maybe we can work around the problem, this wasn't a gift ... it was effectively an instruction. | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 14:25 | comment | added | Myles | Does that mean declining this trip today will torpedo your career? Of course not. One thing I've learned from this SE is that reasonable behavior from bosses isn't completely a given. +1 for the last paragraph though. Selling the idea softly mitigates potential impact. | |
| Dec 16, 2016 at 14:20 | history | edited | Kate Gregory | CC BY-SA 3.0 |
added 439 characters in body
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| Dec 16, 2016 at 14:12 | history | answered | Kate Gregory | CC BY-SA 3.0 |