I have had staff decline a business trip for personal or family reasons. When it's one trip, I get it. Your mother's birthday, or your sister's anniversary, or being the one to put your baby to bed every night, is more important than this trip. Let's talk about how to get you the information, or how to get your ideas shared, or whatever else we were going to gain from the trip, without you having to go. Or, let's find some out-of-the-box ways to make it work. I had an employee with a little baby who turned a conference trip into a family trip - in the daytime the other parent (who took a week's vacation) hung out in the luxury hotel with the baby and did some sightseeing while my employee was at the conference with me. Evenings they spent as a family and the baby was put to bed just as at home, with both parents. Another handled the clash between a conference and a family vacation plan by having the vacation in the conference city (which happened to be Orlando) and again spending the days at the conference and the evenings with family. The weekend before and after the conference were 24 hour family time, and we covered the hotel and the cost of one flight.

However, if you are going to decline every trip of any length forever, this may limit you. I had a staff member who needed more skills - we are a consulting company and old skills lose value and everyone must gain new ones. I had a specific skill in mind that the company needed. No training for it was available online or in our town. The employee said that a week out of town for training was never going to be ok for family reasons. Fine, but that means the employee will never gain that skill. There aren't that many other staff. How can I be sure the company has all the skills we need? It may be that this person just can't work here, nice as they are, smart as they are, if they can't do the training to gain the skills that I can sell. This example is less relevant now with the rise of online training, but imagine a travel agent who can never go to the places the firm sells ... personal experience is highly relevant in that industry. Or someone at a strategy-setting level in a firm who can never go to meetings with international partners. You may limit yourself if you decline all trips forever.

Does that mean declining this trip today will torpedo your career? Of course not. But for your own sake, try to work out something that will get you some of the benefit of attending, and show that you care about it. That might mean calling in, it might mean talking to someone who is attending both before (to provide your opinions) and after (to learn what happened) the trip. Not caring about important business events is a far bigger negative than whether or not you're able to attend them.

And a tip (though I understand you may not talk to your boss in English) please decline the generous offer of a lovely trip and a chance to learn strategic information about company plans rather than refuse to go to something your boss wants you to go to. Trust me, it helps. "Thanks for the opportunity, but I can't take advantage of it this time" will always be better than "I'm not doing that and you can't force me to".

I have had staff decline a business trip for personal or family reasons. When it's one trip, I get it. Your mother's birthday, or your sister's anniversary, or being the one to put your baby to bed every night, is more important than this trip. Let's talk about how to get you the information, or how to get your ideas shared, or whatever else we were going to gain from the trip, without you having to go. Or, let's find some out-of-the-box ways to make it work. I had an employee with a little baby who turned a conference trip into a family trip - in the daytime the other parent (who was on parental leave) hung out in the luxury hotel with the baby and did some sightseeing while my employee was at the conference with me. Evenings they spent as a family and the baby was put to bed just as at home, with both parents. Another handled the clash between a conference and a family vacation plan by having the vacation in the conference city (which happened to be Orlando) and again spending the days at the conference and the evenings with family. The weekend before and after the conference were 24 hour family time, and we covered the hotel and the cost of one flight.

However, if you are going to decline every trip of any length forever, this may limit you. I had a staff member who needed more skills - we are a consulting company and old skills lose value and everyone must gain new ones. I had a specific skill in mind that the company needed. No training for it was available online or in our town. The employee said that a week out of town for training was never going to be ok for family reasons. Fine, but that means the employee will never gain that skill. There aren't that many other staff. How can I be sure the company has all the skills we need? It may be that this person just can't work here, nice as they are, smart as they are, if they can't do the training to gain the skills that I can sell. This example is less relevant now with the rise of online training, but imagine a travel agent who can never go to the places the firm sells ... personal experience is highly relevant in that industry. Or someone at a strategy-setting level in a firm who can never go to meetings with international partners. You may limit yourself if you decline all trips forever.

Does that mean declining this trip today will torpedo your career? Of course not. But for your own sake, try to work out something that will get you some of the benefit of attending, and show that you care about it. That might mean calling in, it might mean talking to someone who is attending both before (to provide your opinions) and after (to learn what happened) the trip. Not caring about important business events is a far bigger negative than whether or not you're able to attend them.

And a tip (though I understand you may not talk to your boss in English) please decline the generous offer of a lovely trip and a chance to learn strategic information about company plans rather than refuse to go to something your boss wants you to go to. Trust me, it helps. "Thanks for the opportunity, but I can't take advantage of it this time" will always be better than "I'm not doing that and you can't force me to".

I have had staff decline a business trip for personal or family reasons. When it's one trip, I get it. Your mother's birthday, or your sister's anniversary, or being the one to put your baby to bed every night, is more important than this trip. Let's talk about how to get you the information, or how to get your ideas shared, or whatever else we were going to gain from the trip, without you having to go. Or, let's find some out-of-the-box ways to make it work. I had an employee with a little baby who turned a conference trip into a family trip - in the daytime the other parent (who took a week's vacation) hung out in the luxury hotel with the baby and did some sightseeing while my employee was at the conference with me. Evenings they spent as a family and the baby was put to bed just as at home, with both parents. Another handled the clash between a conference and a family vacation plan by having the vacation in the conference city (which happened to be Orlando) and again spending the days at the conference and the evenings with family. The weekend before and after the conference were 24 hour family time, and we covered the hotel and the cost of one flight.

However, if you are going to decline every trip of any length forever, this may limit you. I had a staff member who needed more skills - we are a consulting company and old skills lose value and everyone must gain new ones. I had a specific skill in mind that the company needed. No training for it was available online or in our town. The employee said that a week out of town for training was never going to be ok for family reasons. Fine, but that means the employee will never gain that skill. There aren't that many other staff. How can I be sure the company has all the skills we need? It may be that this person just can't work here, nice as they are, smart as they are, if they can't do the training to gain the skills that I can sell. This example is less relevant now with the rise of online training, but imagine a travel agent who can never go to the places the firm sells ... personal experience is highly relevant in that industry. Or someone at a strategy-setting level in a firm who can never go to meetings with international partners. You may limit yourself if you decline all trips forever.

Does that mean declining this trip today will torpedo your career? Of course not. But for your own sake, try to work out something that will get you some of the benefit of attending, and show that you care about it. That might mean calling in, it might mean talking to someone who is attending both before (to provide your opinions) and after (to learn what happened) the trip. Not caring about important business events is a far bigger negative than whether or not you're able to attend them.

I have had staff decline a business trip for personal or family reasons. When it's one trip, I get it. Your mother's birthday, or your sister's anniversary, or being the one to put your baby to bed every night, is more important than this trip. Let's talk about how to get you the information, or how to get your ideas shared, or whatever else we were going to gain from the trip, without you having to go. Or, let's find some out-of-the-box ways to make it work. I had an employee with a little baby who turned a conference trip into a family trip - in the daytime the other parent (who took a week's vacation) hung out in the luxury hotel with the baby and did some sightseeing while my employee was at the conference with me. Evenings they spent as a family and the baby was put to bed just as at home, with both parents. Another handled the clash between a conference and a family vacation plan by having the vacation in the conference city (which happened to be Orlando) and again spending the days at the conference and the evenings with family. The weekend before and after the conference were 24 hour family time, and we covered the hotel and the cost of one flight.

However, if you are going to decline every trip of any length forever, this may limit you. I had a staff member who needed more skills - we are a consulting company and old skills lose value and everyone must gain new ones. I had a specific skill in mind that the company needed. No training for it was available online or in our town. The employee said that a week out of town for training was never going to be ok for family reasons. Fine, but that means the employee will never gain that skill. There aren't that many other staff. How can I be sure the company has all the skills we need? It may be that this person just can't work here, nice as they are, smart as they are, if they can't do the training to gain the skills that I can sell. This example is less relevant now with the rise of online training, but imagine a travel agent who can never go to the places the firm sells ... personal experience is highly relevant in that industry. Or someone at a strategy-setting level in a firm who can never go to meetings with international partners. You may limit yourself if you decline all trips forever.

Does that mean declining this trip today will torpedo your career? Of course not. But for your own sake, try to work out something that will get you some of the benefit of attending, and show that you care about it. That might mean calling in, it might mean talking to someone who is attending both before (to provide your opinions) and after (to learn what happened) the trip. Not caring about important business events is a far bigger negative than whether or not you're able to attend them.

And a tip (though I understand you may not talk to your boss in English) please decline the generous offer of a lovely trip and a chance to learn strategic information about company plans rather than refuse to go to something your boss wants you to go to. Trust me, it helps. "Thanks for the opportunity, but I can't take advantage of it this time" will always be better than "I'm not doing that and you can't force me to".