Timeline for Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
10 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Oct 13, 2023 at 14:52 | comment | added | fgysin | @sehe You are certainly right, and I don't want to imply that anyone should drink if they don't feel comfortable to. But the reality I have seen in many years in different (IT) workplaces is that many company events do come with free alcohol, and many people do appreciate this a lot. Being known as the person who put a stop to this could downright ostracise someone in some companies. | |
| Oct 13, 2023 at 14:03 | comment | added | sehe | @fgysin You don't actually know that until you tried. There's nothing innate or inevitable about alcohol consumption. We donot have to pretend it is. (That's also why I dislike the "pretending to order alcoholic drinks but getting non-alcoholic instead" - it HIDES the fact that people have reasons not to, leading to more people thinking it IS required/mandatory/normal/inevitable etc) | |
| Jun 29, 2022 at 10:00 | comment | added | fgysin | Depending on the culture of the company/social environment being the guy who asks for de-emphasising alcohol at an event can in-and-of-itself be an action that comes with serious social repercussions. E.g. if your company regularly organises open-bar events, and words gets around that you are the guy who somehow made them stop this... it will not go down well. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 21:06 | comment | added | asgallant | @Brian even if you could do that, putting recovering alcoholics in a situation where everyone else is drinking (even if they can't drink themselves) can be a significant contributing factor to a regression, something no one should be comfortable with. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 18:26 | comment | added | Llewellyn | @Brian That only works if everyone is served individually. If the whole table orders at once, it might be difficult for the waiters to ensure the right person gets the non-alcoholic version without anyone noticing. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 15:49 | comment | added | Brian | There's a fifth option to offer the team member, if the bar/restaurant is willing to help: With the team member's consent, inform the bar/restaurant that this team member should be served alcohol-free drinks if an alcoholic drink is requested. I'll note that some bars offer this as a standard service. This removes temptation (patron won't be served alcohol even if they ask) and avoids any risk of peer pressure (patron can pretend to order alcohol to fit in with coworkers). | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 13:53 | comment | added | Woodrow Barlow | this answer is phenomenal because it is empathetic, based on real experience, and actionable whether you're the team lead or any other coworker. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 12:41 | vote | accept | Anthony | ||
| Jun 15, 2022 at 5:39 | history | edited | bta | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
added 118 characters in body
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| Jun 15, 2022 at 5:28 | history | answered | bta | CC BY-SA 4.0 |