Timeline for Is it appropriate to speak up for a team member who can't drink due to addiction recovery when a company event is being planned?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
18 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
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| Jun 16, 2022 at 3:30 | comment | added | G_B | @DarrenRinger It's all good - I think this is one of those things where no one answer is going to be right for all situations, and future readers will do better to look through the answers and see which one fits their situation best rather than depending on scores or ticks. Plus, this way I get a Populist badge ;-) | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 16:38 | comment | added | Anthony | @Darren Ringer, both this answer and the answer I accepted are good. I really like how BTA emphasized inclusiveness in his answer such as considering other reasons folks may not drink. The part about generalizing this issue is what made me accept his answer | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 13:56 | comment | added | nick012000 | "Noting that this is a topic where workplace culture varies hugely from industry to industry," It can probably also vary from country to country - I've read about Japanese companies where going to drink with the boss after work was basically mandatory, for instance. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 13:30 | comment | added | Darren Ringer | Interesting that OP has not responded to this overwhelmingly-more-upvoted answer. This and the accepted answer seem to be very different approaches with pros and cons to each. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 1:49 | comment | added | G_B | @Ertai87 For some folk the position is "want to come, but only if I'm not going to be pressured to drink". Even if OP has no power at all to change the nature of the event, being able to clarify the nature of the event is useful for people in that boat. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 1:47 | comment | added | G_B | @abought Yeah, I've been to work events where the entry charge came with free alcohol, not exchangeable for soft drinks. Not good. | |
| Jun 15, 2022 at 1:43 | comment | added | G_B | @BillK In general you don't have the right to know that info, but employees are at liberty to disclose if they feel it's the best option. Disclosing sensitive info often ends up being a "lesser of two evils" decision. I tried to phrase the script broadly enough to avoid assumptions about how much or how little they'd want to share, though obviously more specific info might give OP more to work with. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 22:21 | comment | added | Bill K | Also, depending on your workplace, you may not have the right to know anyone elses' medical or religous information (I know this is true of government jobs). I'd simply ask for concerns or suggestions and avoid any discussion of reasons. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 20:35 | comment | added | computercarguy | I had a similar situation where my team was invited to dinner and drinks with the CEO and other upper mgmt. At one point, it was weekly (small company). Having appetizers for everyone was one way to reduce the pressure to drink, since everyone still had "something" in front of them. It also helped that there was a "time limit" of required presence, so I and others could avoid the later likelihood of being pressured to drink. And others speaking out against the pressure did help. I'm not a teetotaller, either, I just had better things to do with my time. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 20:00 | comment | added | Ertai87 | This seems like overkill; being invited to "dinner and drinks" is not uncommon, and OP doesn't have anything more than suggestive authority on the plans of senior management. We aren't dealing with children, these are grown adults; if they don't want to come, they don't have to come. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 16:51 | comment | added | Jack Aidley | I would add that an important way to make it comfortable is to shut down people who try and pressure others into drinking "Are you sure? Just one?" should be met by "If he doesn't want to drink, he doesn't have to" or similar. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 16:15 | comment | added | LeLetter | I wonder if asking the bar to promote a signature cocktail and a signature mocktail could reduce the pressure to drink. I'm often happier to drown several not-a-ritas if no one else can tell the difference. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 14:23 | comment | added | abought | I really like the suggestion to cover things other than food. I've been to mixers where I had to bring my own water bottle, because no one planned for the possibility of not drinking. Put everyone on an equal footing- it makes a difference. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 12:57 | comment | added | G_B | @quarague Good point - this was my intention but it didn't come across clearly in what I wrote. Have edited the script accordingly. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 12:57 | history | edited | G_B | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
added 61 characters in body
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| Jun 14, 2022 at 6:53 | comment | added | quarague | For yopur team email I would strongly emphasize that colleagues can talk to you about that in private. If Bob is a former alcoholic that needs to stay completely dry to stay safe, he probably doesn't want that to be public knowledge in the office. Might already be bad enough that you as his boss need to know about it. | |
| Jun 14, 2022 at 1:20 | history | edited | G_B | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
+AAM suggestion
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| Jun 14, 2022 at 1:09 | history | answered | G_B | CC BY-SA 4.0 |