Timeline for I suspect my coworker is trying to take revenge. How do my career and I survive an extra few weeks of working together?
Current License: CC BY-SA 4.0
11 events
| when toggle format | what | by | license | comment | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
| Dec 21, 2018 at 0:22 | comment | added | Rich | @RedSonja Of course, that presumes the person asking the question isn't a macho idiot. They've already demonstrated they see no wrong in throwing this other person under a well-aimed bus. You. Just. Don't. Do. That. | |
| Dec 20, 2018 at 1:26 | comment | added | jpmc26 | Looking for opportunities to offer some small praise the coworker's work might be a little helpful, too, to demonstrate some sense of respect. Noting positive qualities of a change is good practice if they're doing pull requests, anyway. | |
| Dec 19, 2018 at 22:45 | comment | added | Kevin J. Rice | NCIS SAYS: NEVER APOLOGIZE, IT SHOWS WEAKNESS. This is true in business as well, and you want to ensure your power struggle remains balanced. Senior or not, a good developer will not attempt to pull rank too much without good justifications, and power plays usually indicate that management has to deal with this person, NOT YOU. | |
| Dec 19, 2018 at 17:29 | comment | added | henning no longer feeds AI | @RedSonja There are two kinds of apologies. There's the one that says "it's all my fault, not your's". And there's the other one that says "I can see your grievance and I empathize with it". Often, the latter kind is all that's needed to mend a broken relationship, although it doesn't entail bargaining about who's guilty or not. It's not a fauxpology, however, because it actually acknowledges the grievance. | |
| Dec 19, 2018 at 13:44 | comment | added | Mark Amery | The characterisation that the OP "damaged [her] coworker's career over ... a pretty venial coding sin" - doesn't match my interpretation. The OP didn't summon management because the colleague committed such a "sin" in their own work; rather, the colleague demanded that she do things she wasn't willing to do, then wouldn't back down until it blew up. That seems to me to be better understood as a teamwork failure than a technical one. Of course, the whole conflict may be the OP's fault, but not in the way you imply here, I think. | |
| S Dec 19, 2018 at 13:16 | history | suggested | Caius Jard | CC BY-SA 4.0 |
removed a repeated set of words
|
| Dec 19, 2018 at 11:48 | comment | added | RedSonja | * insert any macho idiot you know who would rather die than apologise. | |
| Dec 19, 2018 at 11:48 | comment | added | RedSonja | Maybe this belongs in Interpersonal Skills. I have had occasion to apologise when I felt I had not done wrong, but it was the right thing to do. I sat and looked at the telephone, said three times "I am not my father * ", and just did it. | |
| Dec 19, 2018 at 11:19 | comment | added | Kilisi♦ | Yeah, an apology goes a long way sometimes | |
| Dec 19, 2018 at 9:05 | review | Suggested edits | |||
| S Dec 19, 2018 at 13:16 | |||||
| Dec 18, 2018 at 22:52 | history | answered | Justin Cave | CC BY-SA 4.0 |