"My maid is in an abusive marriage and it triggers me"

Query: My maid is in an abusive marriage. I have tried counselling her that she should report it to the police but she tells me they both love each other and the abuse is a part of their marriage. Should I try to counsel her or let things be? It’s sad that she’s accepted abuse as normal but it triggers me big time.
Response by Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh: It is difficult to know what is the best course of action in this situation.On one hand, it is possible that the counselling could help your maid to see that the abuse is not normal and is, in fact, wrong. It would be better however if you could send her to a professional counsellor as they can give a more practical solution which is specific to her. It can help her decide whether she wants to stay in the marriage and make some changes or leave altogether. Ultimately, it is up to you whether or not to counsel your maid, but you should be aware of the risks involved. All you can do is give them all the right resources to seek further help, both legal and social and make sure that they aren't in serious danger. As far as your personal triggers are concerned, try to manage them by understanding that what seems right to us might not always be the best solution for the people we are trying to help.
Therefore, it's better to offer support and not advice. Let the person decide for themselves.
Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh is HOD - Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon, Relationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management Expert
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