"I feel very insecure that I earn half of what my wife earns"

Query: We had an arranged marriage but there was always a huge gap in our financial status. My wife always earned more and is from a well-to-do family while I may be placed well professionally now but we are very middle-class folks. Ever since our marriage, I have been feeling very insecure because it must be the first time a husband is earning half of what his wife earns, in our family.I am aware this is toxic but I don’t know how to deal with it. Is there a way?
Response by Dr. Rachna: Living in a majorly male-dominated society, gives a way to think of some irrational thoughts that we know are wrong but cannot stop thinking about them. It’s good that you have identified these

thoughts as simply toxic for your relationship. You must now look towards ways where you channel
your same thoughts towards doing something positive for your spouse.
Breaking entrenched stereotypes is vital in any relationship, especially when it comes to financial
matters. Encourage each other to work diligently and achieve success together, regardless of societal
expectations. Effective communication plays a pivotal role in this journey. If concerns about income
disparities persist, it's crucial to be open and honest about your feelings with your partner. Sharing your
insecurities and fears will not only help her understand your perspective, but also provide you with
emotional relief.
Avoid conforming to outdated societal norms; the world is evolving, and economic circumstances
fluctuate. Modern problems often demand unconventional solutions that challenge traditional
conventions, which can be the best way to maintain a harmonious relationship. Make a conscious effort
not to let money become a divisive factor in your otherwise beautiful connection.
Establishing open and transparent communication about finances is essential. Collaboratively divide
expenses, so both partners share the responsibility of contributing to the family's financial well-being.
If you find it challenging to control your thoughts and insecurities, consider seeking support from a
counsellor who can help you restructure your thinking patterns and address the underlying insecurities.
Remember that building a strong, understanding, and financially equitable relationship is achievable
with effort and communication.
Dr. Rachna Khanna Singh is HOD - Holistic Medicine, Artemis Hospital, Gurgaon, Relationship, Lifestyle & Stress Management Expert
Read also: "My mother-in-law makes fun of my natural postpartum weight gain"
Read also: 5 zodiac signs that can see through lies and are difficult to deceive