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  • Why didn't I think of that?! Especially considering I already have a Live CD... I'll try it. Commented Jan 30, 2014 at 8:10
  • Well, I booted from the Live CD, and the ports didn't work. Looks like this is a hardware problem. Commented Jan 31, 2014 at 11:57
  • 1
    While this doesn't completely rule out a software configuration problem, it does point the finger at something outside the OS (perhaps BIOS/UEFI settings) and hardware is a prime suspect
    – Ben Voigt
    Commented Dec 29, 2015 at 0:50