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Rev

There is no router involved until in the ISP office. Minecraft server is in the same state as me - less than 100 miles away. I'll check out the Auto-Reconnect plugin.
– Iiridayn
Commented Apr 12, 2013 at 15:26
Tried to install the Auto-Reconnect plugin, which told me to install another mod first, which threw an Invalid signature file exception. Personally not a big fan of patching jars or binaries in general - unless I'm prepared to spend a long time dinking with it. Since Minecraft is already not working correctly, I am especially uncomfortable with the thought of adding complexity to the problem.
– Iiridayn
Commented Apr 13, 2013 at 0:40
Borrowed my roommate's computer, plugged it into my network connection, installed Minecraft - works fine. Same cable, same networking equipment - at this point clearly a software problem.
– Iiridayn
Commented Apr 13, 2013 at 19:08
I suggest then to uninstall the Minecraft client, then Java, clean up all their folders, ensure that you have the latest version of each, and reinstall.
– harrymc
Commented Apr 13, 2013 at 21:11
1

I'm going to accept this one - so please update your answer with this solution. In order to go online in Safe Mode I had to uninstall Bluecoat K9 from my computer. I've do so while troubleshooting several times, but never quite correctly (with a proper reboot without reinstalling, etc), and uninstalled it for real. Upon rebooting properly, I figured I'd just test it first... Problem went away. K9 must be introducing just enough latency only when I don't move - thank you very much for all your help. I believe that this will be a useful thing to check for the Minecraft community going forward.
– Iiridayn
Commented Apr 15, 2013 at 6:14

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